Author Topic: Was this Okay?  (Read 2361 times)

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Morticia

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Was this Okay?
« on: February 21, 2013, 12:09:56 PM »
The other day, one of my colleagues was coming out of the lunch room with both of his hands full. I was coming in so I held the door for him. A man from a different department  made a comment on what a "liberated  woman" I was.  All I could come up with was to look at him steadily and say, "It's 2013, " in what I hoped was a helpful manner. How did I do?
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
                                        -- Big Rude Jake

My travel blog: http://www.stepmonster.ca

NotTheNarcissist

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2013, 12:22:55 PM »
That truly sounds like something I myself would have said.....even though I really meant something along the lines of, "Oh, he had his hands full. I was just trying to help."

Alas, I don't think that fast when I'm on the spot.

ETA: to answer your question, yes, you did ok, but i think you & I both need to work on a more accurate response when where on the spot.

Morticia

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2013, 12:26:28 PM »
I was trying very hard not to ask him what sort of Neanderthal moron he was, since that would be rude.
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
                                        -- Big Rude Jake

My travel blog: http://www.stepmonster.ca

Only me

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2013, 12:31:14 PM »
"I was trying very hard not to ask him what sort of Neanderthal moron he was, since that would be rude."/////

See I was thinking the same thing.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2013, 01:00:14 PM »
"I was raised to treat everyone with respect."

Auntie Mame

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2013, 01:31:30 PM »
Oh I see, "liberated woman" apparently means someone who has basic manners and common decency  ???  Well looky, I'm liberated.

It's a good thing this guy didn't see me give up my seat on the train for a man holding a baby, he would have had a stroke.

I was in three inch heels when I did it.

And a skirt.

I do believe his head would have imploded.
Auntie needs fuel, black coffee and a side car.

Amava

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2013, 02:30:50 PM »
"That's what he said".
No?  ;D

EllenS

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2013, 02:55:53 PM »
Miss Manners has addressed this on many occasions: the etiquette of opening doors follows two rules
1) precedence
2) necessity.

A person who is encumbered or disabled should have the door opened by the person who is able to do so, regardless of gender.
Also, in the workplace precedence is given according to rank, not according to gender.  Gender-based precedence is only appropriate in social situations, and even then should bend to the demands of necessity (as in your excellent example of the dad on the train)

oceanus

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2013, 05:50:35 PM »
You could have said "Funny, but you don't LOOK like Don Draper (from Mad Men).  Then again, this isn't the 1960s". :D

But that probably would have gone over his head.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2013, 10:35:58 PM by oceanus »

Giggity

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2013, 05:54:39 PM »
I would have ignored it.
Words mean things.

NestHolder

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2013, 06:53:31 PM »
The other day, one of my colleagues was coming out of the lunch room with both of his hands full. I was coming in so I held the door for him. A man from a different department  made a comment on what a "liberated  woman" I was.  All I could come up with was to look at him steadily and say, "It's 2013, " in what I hoped was a helpful manner. How did I do?

I think you did perfectly.  The 'you pillock' need only be implied, in such circumstances.

Miss Tickle

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2013, 10:27:16 PM »
The other day, one of my colleagues was coming out of the lunch room with both of his hands full. I was coming in so I held the door for him. A man from a different department  made a comment on what a "liberated  woman" I was.  All I could come up with was to look at him steadily and say, "It's 2013, " in what I hoped was a helpful manner. How did I do?

I think you did perfectly.  The 'you pillock' need only be implied, in such circumstances.
I just snorted my dinner, thanks. ;D

Craftymom

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #12 on: February 22, 2013, 06:50:52 AM »
Consideration transcends gender...

Hmmmmm

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #13 on: February 22, 2013, 08:40:36 AM »
Are you sure it wasn't a joke? No matter how the comment was said I would assume it was a joke and just laughed.

Tea Drinker

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Re: Was this Okay?
« Reply #14 on: February 22, 2013, 10:50:33 AM »
Another plausible and polite response to the comment about what a liberated woman you are would be a smile and "Yes, I am" or "Yes, thank you" (in the same way as I would say "thank you" if someone admired my sweater). The remark may have been intended as a put-down, but it is in fact a compliment, and the other person would look pretty foolish for complaining "I called her a liberated woman and she thanked me."
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.