A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Today's Dear Prudence -

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Winterlight:

--- Quote from: SiotehCat on February 23, 2013, 05:56:35 PM ---I can understand the LW.

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone that had killed another person. Not knowing would drive me crazy. If I were in a relationship with someone that refused to reassure me that he hadn't killed anyone, I would have to walk away.

LW should walk away if this is important to him.

--- End quote ---

I don't think your feelings are unreasonable, but when your partner has repeatedly told you he can't discuss it, then the choice is to either let it go or end the relationship- not stay in it and keep nagging.

Sterling:
Your feelings are valid but that means not dating someone who served in active duty.

My uncle was in Vietnam and to this day doesn't talk about what happened there.  He will brush it off with a joke about frying his brain on weed or something.  But the man use to wake up from night terrors and nearly strangled my aunt in her sleep because he was having a nightmare.

My grandfather never talked about what he saw or did there but would often tell jokes about it.

Two Ravens:

--- Quote from: Sterling on February 26, 2013, 05:18:48 PM ---Your feelings are valid but that means not dating someone who served in active duty.

--- End quote ---

Or a police officer. Or a federal agent. Or private security. Or any profession that requires you to carry a gun. Or a medical professional...

Jocelyn:

--- Quote from: Two Ravens on February 26, 2013, 05:23:27 PM ---
--- Quote from: Sterling on February 26, 2013, 05:18:48 PM ---Your feelings are valid but that means not dating someone who served in active duty.

--- End quote ---

Or a police officer. Or a federal agent. Or private security. Or any profession that requires you to carry a gun. Or a medical professional...

--- End quote ---
Or anyone, really, who could have been in a fatal car wreck.

SiotehCat:

--- Quote from: Winterlight on February 26, 2013, 05:06:08 PM ---
--- Quote from: SiotehCat on February 23, 2013, 05:56:35 PM ---I can understand the LW.

I couldn't be in a relationship with someone that had killed another person. Not knowing would drive me crazy. If I were in a relationship with someone that refused to reassure me that he hadn't killed anyone, I would have to walk away.

LW should walk away if this is important to him.

--- End quote ---

I don't think your feelings are unreasonable, but when your partner has repeatedly told you he can't discuss it, then the choice is to either let it go or end the relationship- not stay in it and keep nagging.

--- End quote ---

Oh, I completely agree. That is why I said that I think the LW should walk away.

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