Author Topic: Take part without over-sharing  (Read 4546 times)

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camlan

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #30 on: February 22, 2013, 12:54:28 PM »
This "sharing" is daily? Oh my goodness. And what exactly does "expressing" mean? "Sharing," just the word bothers me. I'm not "sharing" anything; I'm telling you something. The use of the word is enough to set my teeth on edge.

In the past, I've found that "sharing" too much of my personal life at work has had negative consequences. Not forced sharing, as in the OP, but just talking about my private life.

Talk about sewing or crocheting or bring in cookies I've baked? I'm Little Miss Homemaker, and therefore not management material, or even deserving of a promotion, because my heart isn't in my job; it's at home.

Talk about nephews and nieces? Then I'm a homebody and wouldn't want a job that involved any amount of travel. Even though I'm single and childless and you'd think I'd be a perfect candidate for traveling.

Mention that I like science fiction? Then I'm weird. Mention that I like medieval history and literature and even read the literature in the original Middle English? Weirder still. Comment that I don't watch Survivor or American Idol or really any reality show? Seriously, I've been called un-American for that, and I'm not sure the person was joking.

Add in my personal reluctance to talk about any gentleman I might be seeing, and the fact that I attend office Christmas parties without a date, and that I have cats and talk about them, and I'm the crazy cat lady.

Then add in having to come up with something to "share" every single day? Good grief.

In the OP's shoes, I'd trade on my love of history and language, and have an interesting word or historical fact to share. If challenged, I'd simply state that these are my hobbies, and I thought that's what we were supposed to be "sharing." If pressured to "share" more personal thoughts/feelings/happenings, I would somehow try to make it clear that I feel *very* uncomfortable about bringing my personal life into work. And question why my supervisor felt it was necessary for me to do so.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Judah

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #31 on: February 22, 2013, 01:00:44 PM »
I think I'd be "expressing" that I find this routine very uncomfortable and intrusive. 
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys

Kiara

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #32 on: February 22, 2013, 01:03:55 PM »
Do you like sports?  There's SOME kind of game every day.  That's what we all end up talking about at our meetings.  Football, then baseball, then NASCAR.

Cat stories are also good.  Between sports, travel and cats, I'm always within reach of an easy topic.

Snooks

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #33 on: February 22, 2013, 01:52:39 PM »
Yep, every day!  I'm going to try to use cat stories, my chilli plants might come in handy.  The problem is the cat stories tend to be along the lines of "I'm grumpy because the cat decided 5am was get up time" and I want to come across as a positive person.  I'm hoping to go to a local festival this weekend so maybe I can work that in but it's kind of difficult to express something about what you got up to.  It's a bit touchy feely for me and I'd prefer to use work but I'm just trying to fit in.

EllenS

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #34 on: February 22, 2013, 01:59:20 PM »
I'm telling you, I just heard this morning in the car that honeybees can detect electrical charges to not only identify flowers, but they can tell which flowers have recently been pollinated, so they skip them.  That's freaking AMAZING.

What about "expressing" your curiosity about what other people are doing - can you do that? "I feel like I'd really like to hear more about Jason's idea..."

I'm sorry you have to put up with this nonsense.

CakeBeret

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #35 on: February 22, 2013, 03:13:17 PM »
Yep, every day!  I'm going to try to use cat stories, my chilli plants might come in handy.  The problem is the cat stories tend to be along the lines of "I'm grumpy because the cat decided 5am was get up time" and I want to come across as a positive person.  I'm hoping to go to a local festival this weekend so maybe I can work that in but it's kind of difficult to express something about what you got up to.  It's a bit touchy feely for me and I'd prefer to use work but I'm just trying to fit in.

You could try to put a positive spin on things--or at least a neutral spin. "I'm grumpy because my cat woke me up at 5am" could be "My silly cat Mitzy woke me up at 5am. At least that gave me some extra time to get ready this morning."
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."

siamesecat2965

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #36 on: February 22, 2013, 03:35:36 PM »
Every day? that is a bit much. I would run out of things to say pretty quickly, and the stuff I did have to "express" would be something like "I was so happy I finally won in Words With Friends against my friend who has kicked my butt in it for the last 3 months" or "I spent an hour decluttering my living room and it was so nice to sit in a clean room and relax" I'm single, live alone, no pets (not by choice) and work 2 jobs so am never home and have very little free time. I'm also a VERY private person.

OP you have my sympathies. I can see doing it at a monthly staff meeting, but every day? even monthly would set my teeth on edge, but I could handle that.

kudeebee

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #37 on: February 22, 2013, 05:29:48 PM »
Just curious,  but what type of job requires you to share something every day?  Is this done first thing in the morning at a team meeting?

Judah

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #38 on: February 22, 2013, 06:06:04 PM »
OP, what kinds of thing do your coworkers share?
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!

-The Car Talk Guys

bansidhe

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2013, 03:33:23 AM »
Every day...wow. I would put good money on that trend not lasting very long.

A former boss tried this with my department once, though fortunately we had twice-weekly instead of daily meetings. During week three, she started the meeting by saying, "How about we all share something about our lives?" to which one of my teammates responded, "How about we completely skip that and just get on with the meeting?" And that was the end of that tradition. You're probably too new to get away with something like that, but take heart: one of your co-workers may snap.  :D

In the meantime, cats. I warned my department that I could supply enough cat stories to last until doomsday. We were told to share something about ourselves, but no one said it had to be interesting to the whole group.

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Cami

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #40 on: February 23, 2013, 10:24:06 AM »
OP -- I was telling a friend of your dilemma last night and the good news is that she had a far worse story to tell about her sister's workplace. It's a small business with 10 employees. Every day, employees are required to get there fifteen minutes early and:

1. Not clock in. So yes, unpaid time.
2. To do "circle time". Yes, just like in pre-school.
3. Where you share something with the group. Something personal and positive!
4. After which every person has to HUG EVERY OTHER PERSON.

I told her I would have quit after the first day!

Snooks

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #41 on: February 23, 2013, 11:08:28 AM »
OP -- I was telling a friend of your dilemma last night and the good news is that she had a far worse story to tell about her sister's workplace. It's a small business with 10 employees. Every day, employees are required to get there fifteen minutes early and:

1. Not clock in. So yes, unpaid time.
2. To do "circle time". Yes, just like in pre-school.
3. Where you share something with the group. Something personal and positive!
4. After which every person has to HUG EVERY OTHER PERSON.

I told her I would have quit after the first day!

Oh thank goodness there's no hugging!

Other people have shared things like "I'm glad the snow is going", "I like the snow", "I had a nice day off".  I think on Monday I'll go for "I started a really good book this weekend".

EllenS

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Re: Take part without over-sharing
« Reply #42 on: February 25, 2013, 04:25:52 PM »
Yeah, I think if opinions on the weather "count", then coming up with something acceptable shouldn't be too hard.