General Etiquette > Family and Children

When the camera shy feel left out

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Shoo:

--- Quote from: Judah on February 21, 2013, 02:31:20 PM ---
--- Quote from: Shoo on February 21, 2013, 02:29:46 PM ---I actually kind of agree with Amy on this one.  At least, I agree that having some compassion for the stepmother's feelings is warranted.  I don't think she's a special snowflake for feeling like she does.  I think anyone would feel left out, regardless of how or why it happened.  I like Amy's idea of talking about it and promising to make sure to get shots of her and the baby from now on so she can be included in the next photo book.

--- End quote ---

But she excluded herself. I can understand her feeling left out, but she did it to herself and doesn't have a leg to stand on.

--- End quote ---

Yes, but that doesn't mean she doesn't *feel* the way she feels.  I think being kind and promising to include her more in the future is the way to handle this.  She didn't know a picture book would be made, just like the letter writer didn't know.  Now they all know, and so if it happens again, THEN she won't have a leg to stand on.

rose red:
Reminds me of an old Cathy comic strip where Cathy keeps hiding and complaining when her mother tries to take pictures.  In the last panel, the family is looking at photo albums and Cathy cries "why aren't there pictures of me?!"

The couple doesn't owe the stepmother an apology.  They can explain how the books came about, but no apology.

eta:  Even if the photos are not Christmas gifts to be shared with the world, the stepmother didn't even want private pictures of her and the baby for the first nine months?  It sounds like it's only now that the pictures are public that she's crying foul.

TurtleDove:
I'm with Judah.  This woman cannot have it both ways.  The letter writer honored her wishes not to be photographed.  Hence, there were no photographs of her.  Bed. Made. Lie.  If the woman wants to be in an upcoming book, she should let people take her photo.  It's really that simple.  I think the woman chose an odd form of vanity over photographic memories of times she shared with her grandchild.

GSNW:
The stepmother in the letter needs to get over herself.  The photo album is about baby.  Stepmother is actively adverse to people keeping pictures of her.  Hello?  Is this about her time with baby or her need to feel glamorous in every photo?  Her attitude needs some self-examination.

I love having pics of myself with my nieces.  I say to SIL, "Hey, get one with me and the girls."  I don't pout if she doesn't do it herself and I don't examine images for flaws before I allow them to be kept/printed.  It's not about me!

It's been said plenty of times here but applies in this situation.  Being polite/considerate doesn't mean being a doormat, and Amy's reply is ridiculous.  "Too rushed to be inclusive" ?  Sorry, that's not what actually happened.  Amy expects the parents to justify a "flaw" their generous/fun project that was the direct result of Stepmother's nonsense.  I don't think so!

SPuck:

--- Quote from: LeveeWoman on February 21, 2013, 02:24:10 PM ---Unlike our CrochetFanatic, the step-mother sounds as if she's a special snowflake.

--- End quote ---

I was just inspired to post it because of the threat, not about anyone in particular.

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