General Etiquette > Family and Children

When the camera shy feel left out

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--- Quote from: mmswm on February 22, 2013, 03:00:11 PM ---I hate having my picture taken, and might even be a bit SS about avoiding the camera.

Occasionally, when I look through photo albums I get a bit sad that there are no pictures of me.

Then I put on my big girl panties and remind myself that the reason there are no pictures of me is because I actively avoided having my picture taken.  Too bad for me.  I made a choice, I have to live with the consequences.

I have no sympathy for the SM.

--- End quote ---

This was me when I was younger. I'm the unphotogenic one in a family of beauties... My three sisters especially. I never wanted my photo taken, because I hated the way I looked.

I still don't like having my photo taken, but I've made a conscious decision to "grin and bear it" because I know that years down the line no photos will bug me more than bad photos.


--- Quote from: TurtleDove on February 21, 2013, 04:11:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: Ceallach on February 21, 2013, 04:06:02 PM ---Personally I have no patience for the camera shy (despite being terribly un photogenic myself!) and frequently find camera shy behavior to actually and ironically be attention seeking.  I will always respect their wishes, but I'm not going to go out of my way to pander to them.

--- End quote ---

This is the way I feel about it.  In this situation, I don't really understand why the SM both 1) does not want her photo taken but 2) is upset that her photo is not in a book to be shown to others.  I think both are attention seeking behavior. And again, this is a BABY book.  Not a SM book.

--- End quote ---

I agree with both these posts.


--- Quote from: EllenS on February 22, 2013, 04:09:13 PM ---This topic reminded me of a lovely article by Allison Tate that went viral last year - "The Mom Stays in the Picture".

"When I look at pictures of my own mother, I don't look at cellulite or hair debacles. I just see her -- her kind eyes, her open-mouthed, joyful smile, her familiar clothes. That's the mother I remember. My mother's body is the vessel that carries all the memories of my childhood. I always loved that her stomach was soft, her skin freckled, her fingers long. I didn't care that she didn't look like a model. She was my mama.

So when all is said and done, if I can't do it for myself, I want to do it for my kids. I want to be in the picture, to give them that visual memory of me. I want them to see how much I am here, how my body looks wrapped around them in a hug, how loved they are."

This article made me cry and I now have all kinds of pictures of me looking disheveled but happy.  My mom died 3 years ago and she was always miserable having her picture taken.  I do have 2 or 3 photos of her genuinely smiling.  She did not smile much the last 10 years of her life, and she wasted away so much the last month she was nearly unrecognizable.  Those 2 or 3 photos are unbelievably precious, because it is hard for me to remember her being happy.

The article is here:

--- End quote ---

Thanks!  I wanted to post about this but couldn't remember where I had read it.  I read this a few months ago and it really stuck with me.  I've never been one to not be in pictures with my kids but I did judge myself harshly in the resulting photos.  This article really made me rethink that because it made me realize how I view photos of my own mom from when I was growing up.  I don't see her weight or her funny hair style.  I see *my* mom.  The woman who loves me and taught me how to be the kind of mom I want to be.  I want that feeling for my kids as well.  I want them to look at pictures from their childhood and think "that's *my* mom". 


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