Author Topic: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?  (Read 4355 times)

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GlassHalfFull

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2013, 06:31:10 PM »
No.  Not anymore, alot of brides are even having their bridesmaids wear black

Yep, back in 1998 I had my bridesmaids (and one matron) wear black...a cocktail dress of their choice.  Worked so well for them that several adopted my idea for their own weddings.

GlassHalfFull

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2013, 06:32:24 PM »
Just don't wear white!   ;)

heartmug

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2013, 06:38:45 PM »
I was at a wedding in October and there were several ladies wearing black dresses.  My dd had a black skirt with a mauve colored blouse on.  Another lady had a black dress with a multi-colored short jacket on.
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jpcher

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #18 on: February 21, 2013, 06:52:42 PM »
I certainly hope not.

I was the bride and I wore black.

(I joked that I was mourning the loss of my single days. Truth be told, LDH really liked it when I wore black, so I wanted to please him. And I did. 8))



To answer your question . . . DD#2 went to a wedding last fall and she was all over not wearing black because she didn't think it would be appropriate (probably due to my coaching. ::)) When she came home, she told me that more than 1/2 the women were dressed in the little-black-dress.

Yvaine

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #19 on: February 21, 2013, 06:56:23 PM »
There's a picture from my mom's wedding a few years ago: one of my sisters in a sparkly black dress, another sister in a sparkly red dress, and me in a sparkly red and black striped dress. My mom was thrilled--they're her favorite colors.  :)

flowersintheattic

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2013, 07:11:52 PM »
I wear black to weddings all the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, unless (like PPs said) it's over funeral-like. A little black dress with festive accessories is perfectly acceptable in my mind.
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whiterose

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2013, 07:24:31 PM »
As somebody said either here or on a previous incarnation of Ehell:

- To an evening wedding in New York City? Yes, it is fine.

- To a daytime wedding in Atlanta? Not fine at all.

I know those are the two extremes, and that there are gray areas in the middle. Personally, I would not do it. Adding an accessory with color would be a good idea.
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JeanFromBNA

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2013, 07:26:37 PM »
I think that rule has gone by the wayside.  Just don't dress like you're mourning, or one of the waitstaff (With apologies to Lady Grantham).

Thipu1

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #23 on: February 21, 2013, 07:46:07 PM »
In NYC its considered weird to wear anything but black to a wedding!  ;D
(ok not really, women do occasionally wear colors and they aren't seen as weird, but black is definitely the most popular dress color for formal events 'round here.)

Amen.  There is black and there is black.  The classic LBD with a bit of color in the jewelry or accessories is just fine in NYC.  It's seen as formal and a way of drawing attention to the bride. 

The problem of wearing black to a wedding is if you dress like a traditional Mediterranean widow. That would be seen as a sign that you did not approve of the marriage. 



m2kbug

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #24 on: February 21, 2013, 08:10:05 PM »
No, I think that rule has generally gone by the wayside.  I think as a general rule, brighter colors would be the best to err on, and also consider the venue, the time of day, etc. 

I wore a black dress to a friend's wedding, the little black dress.  I did ask the bride if she was okay with it, though, because I was unsure of the appropriateness, and she was fine with it.

I wore this black dress in Tucson, AZ <<Waving to Bansidhe>>.  ;D I spent half my life there!  I'm surprised you say it wouldn't fly there. 

Check with the bride if you're not sure.  I'm sure it will be fine.   

Aeris

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #25 on: February 21, 2013, 09:00:34 PM »
As long as you're not wearing a black veil, you're probably fine.

The rule about black was so that you wouldn't look like you were in mourning at someone's wedding. Obviously a little black dress with sparkly jewelry at a Saturday night wedding in New York or LA is not going to look like you're 'mourning'.

1) Where is the wedding located?
2) What time of day is the wedding?
3) Is the black dress/outfit funeral appropriate or is it fun, festive, and 'night out on the town'/party appropriate?

Winterlight

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #26 on: February 21, 2013, 09:12:07 PM »
I wouldn't, but so long as other people look celebratory and not funereal, I don't object.

I attended a wedding where the MOG wore solid black and a very sour look. That did not go over well with the groom. Or the bride.
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Library Dragon

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #27 on: February 21, 2013, 09:13:37 PM »
It's one of those cultural rules that has mostly been done away with.

In the late 80s we were stationed in N. Italy with the US Army.  DH was officiating at a wedding between an American man and Italian woman.  The mother of the groom came up to me and asked if the bride's family were upset. What?  All the women on the bride's side were wearing black. I explained that Italians always wore black to any formal function.  This was especially true for an evening wedding.

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Miss Tickle

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #28 on: February 21, 2013, 09:21:41 PM »
If you're making a statement, or if the bride or bridesmaids are in black as well and you're trying to match it's rude, but I thought the rule was you don't attend/schedule a wedding while you are in mourning, so wearing black would be inappropriate. Now that's not observed as much, but the black holdover lingered.

hobish

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #29 on: February 21, 2013, 09:29:48 PM »
In NYC its considered weird to wear anything but black to a wedding!  ;D
(ok not really, women do occasionally wear colors and they aren't seen as weird, but black is definitely the most popular dress color for formal events 'round here.)

I was just going to say it is beyond common in the NY/NJ/PA area.

But not so much where I live (Tucson, AZ area). I'm pretty sure it would raise eyebrows here and I'd never do it myself. It seems to be OK for the bridal party to wear black, but not for guests.

If I were the OP, I'd take a quick poll of people who live in my area and see what they think, as opinions on the matter seem to vary quite a lot by region. It also can't hurt to ask the bride what her colors are so that you don't wear that color if you decide against black.

Yep, that is a good idea on both counts. The regional differences are interesting, but not always practical.
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