Author Topic: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?  (Read 4242 times)

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Roe

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #30 on: February 21, 2013, 09:42:57 PM »
I've worn black to many weddings. As a matter of fact, I wasn't the only one in black. I think it's pretty normal and typical to wear black.

This was in Texas. 

GratefulMaria

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #31 on: February 21, 2013, 09:49:52 PM »
I wouldn't, but so long as other people look celebratory and not funereal, I don't object.

I attended a wedding where the MOG wore solid black and a very sour look. That did not go over well with the groom. Or the bride.

DH and I went to a similar wedding last year.  I'm close friends with MOB, who's from the NYC area but from a family that would still feel upset at the idea of a guest wearing black at a wedding.  (I wear black all the time and joked that my silk ice blue dress was a huge sacrifice out of consideration for them.)  There were already hard feelings between the two sets of parents, so the MOG's choice of dress, while I thought it was elegant, was seen as subject to misinterpretation.  Especially since she didn't look all that happy.


JeseC

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #32 on: February 21, 2013, 10:08:22 PM »
It's your classic "little black dress" number.  Sleeveless, slight bit of cleavage, stops just above the knee.  Definitely not a funeral dress - more like what I'd normally wear for a night out on the town.  Thinking of pairing it with a black and white kitty scarf, given that the bride absolutely loves all things feline.  7pm to midnight wedding, expecting a wide spread of people including several from out of the country.

Aeris

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #33 on: February 21, 2013, 10:10:44 PM »
It's your classic "little black dress" number.  Sleeveless, slight bit of cleavage, stops just above the knee.  Definitely not a funeral dress - more like what I'd normally wear for a night out on the town.  Thinking of pairing it with a black and white kitty scarf, given that the bride absolutely loves all things feline.  7pm to midnight wedding, expecting a wide spread of people including several from out of the country.

The dress sounds great, the timing sounds right. Unless the wedding is in a location/region where this has never been seen, I think you're *fine*.

bansidhe

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #34 on: February 22, 2013, 12:24:41 AM »
No, I think that rule has generally gone by the wayside.  I think as a general rule, brighter colors would be the best to err on, and also consider the venue, the time of day, etc. 

I wore a black dress to a friend's wedding, the little black dress.  I did ask the bride if she was okay with it, though, because I was unsure of the appropriateness, and she was fine with it.

I wore this black dress in Tucson, AZ <<Waving to Bansidhe>>.  ;D I spent half my life there!  I'm surprised you say it wouldn't fly there. 

Check with the bride if you're not sure.  I'm sure it will be fine.

<<waves back>>

When I really think about it, I haven't been to any weddings held by younger people in a long time. The ones I go to nowadays are generally second (or third, or fourth...) weddings and we're all older. So that may have a lot to do with my personal experience. Could be that the "no black at weddings" rule is still intact with many people of a certain age.  :)
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nolechica

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #35 on: February 22, 2013, 03:09:27 AM »
No.  Not anymore, alot of brides are even having their bridesmaids wear black

That's what my sister's having.

Me

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #36 on: February 22, 2013, 08:40:38 AM »

I don't think it's rude at all.  I'm probably going to wear a black dress to a close friend's wedding in April.

The main rule I follow for weddings is not to wear white.

Just Lori

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #37 on: February 22, 2013, 08:55:01 AM »
Black cocktail dress with sparkly jewelry?  Fine.

Somber head-to-toe black with no accents or accessories? Funeral.

ETA that the time of day and the venue make a difference.  I wouldn't wear black to a daytime wedding in an outdoor garden, for instance. However, I think black is perfectly appropriate at an evening wedding with a formal reception, assuming that you're going for an elegant look, rather than an undead look. ;)
« Last Edit: February 22, 2013, 08:57:51 AM by Just Lori »

Winterlight

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #38 on: February 22, 2013, 10:42:59 AM »
It's your classic "little black dress" number.  Sleeveless, slight bit of cleavage, stops just above the knee.  Definitely not a funeral dress - more like what I'd normally wear for a night out on the town.  Thinking of pairing it with a black and white kitty scarf, given that the bride absolutely loves all things feline.  7pm to midnight wedding, expecting a wide spread of people including several from out of the country.

This sounds fine. I'd bring a nice colorful shawl, partly because I'm always cold and partly to brighten up the dress.
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JeseC

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #39 on: February 22, 2013, 11:21:59 AM »
I'll see what I can do.  It's a bit tricky for some of us - when your normal look is something like Abby from NCIS, finding "colorful" in your wardrobe can be a challenge!`

Sophia

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #40 on: February 22, 2013, 12:16:02 PM »
I would never do it.  Miss Manners says No White, No Black and if you know the shade the bridesmaids are wearing, then you shouldn't wear that either. 

Winterlight

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #41 on: February 22, 2013, 12:16:41 PM »
If can't find one you like, check out a fabric store and either hem a lengh or get it cut with pinking shears. I've done this- I got a nice piece of velvet and then lined it, but you can go unlined if you don't like to sew. Heck, at some stores you can find someone who will make it for you!
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MrTango

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #42 on: February 22, 2013, 12:34:04 PM »
Especially for an evening wedding, I think it's fine, especially since you're adding an accessory to give it some flair.

JeseC

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #43 on: February 22, 2013, 01:03:01 PM »
If can't find one you like, check out a fabric store and either hem a lengh or get it cut with pinking shears. I've done this- I got a nice piece of velvet and then lined it, but you can go unlined if you don't like to sew. Heck, at some stores you can find someone who will make it for you!

I think I'm as much having trouble seeing how that sort of thing would work with the dress.  A wrap or shawl, especially a heavy one, just feels like it would overwhelm the outfit and my figure.  I'd need something very light, which would be a bit harder to make.  I have a body shape that's typically described as "tiny" and the dress is cut to match.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSyH7BNzdV3ZphqUS5XpQHWINkAT7FBQwVhW8qkvrGhSUvtyWtMbQ that's roughly the type of garment we're talking.

Girlie

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Re: Is it still rude to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #44 on: February 22, 2013, 01:10:37 PM »
I don't think a black dress is rude, per say. A lady in a lovely black cocktail dress is not the same as a lady in black Victorian-style mourning dress.

Your choice sounds completely appropriate.