General Etiquette > Family and Children

Rude to offer child’s appetizer to others?

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--- Quote from: DottyG on March 05, 2013, 03:13:24 PM ---Also, in the case you described, the vendor could have easily told the waitress that she was trying to make a plane flight and to bring the food out accordingly.  Sounds like she didn't do the simplest thing she could have to prevent the problem.

If I'm in any kind of a rush to eat and leave, I let the waitress know that.  They're usually good about working with that and getting things out more quickly.

--- End quote ---

Not trying to argue but clarify.

So for the bolded, if said to the waitress would your expecation be that the waitress would:
-bring out the other guest's soup and salad together and then bring all of our entrees at the same time
-the waitress would bring out the soup for the one guest and then bring his salad and our entrees then the other guests entree after he finished his salad
-bring the one guests soup, salad and entree all at the same time with all of our entrees?

While I can see how any of these scenarios would reduce the amount of time, it seems wrong to take control of someone else's meal course timing.

And our waitress was aware we were in a hurry. But bringing his gumbo, his eating it and her coming back to remove the bowl took at least 10 minutes and then again the same for his salad. There wasn't much that she could do about it since he had ordered 3 courses.

The rudeness is not in the time it took to deliver and aeat the soup and salad and thus delaying the meal but in no following the host's lead in ordering only an entree.


--- Quote from: DottyG on March 05, 2013, 03:05:59 PM ---Like the others, though, I've never really found that ordering an appetizer prolongs the meal that much.  They're brought out, like others have said, while the entrees are being cooked, so it's not that much longer.  If it makes the lunch that much longer, it would seem to me that the restaurant isn't doing its job correctly - and I'd quietly let the waitress/manager know.  A restaurant, such as one would eat in for an informal work lunch, should know how to time things such that people aren't waiting long periods of time.  Yours was not the only table, I'm sure, trying to eat and get back to work; they should be used to that scenario.

Edited to clarify:  The above refers to a lunch type situation.  There have been more formal places where it's expected that a meal might lengthen due to the various courses.

--- End quote ---

I'm a bit late to the thread but just FYI, I've worked at a number of chain restaurants - the type people often go to at lunch. All of them had computer systems that automatically delayed the entrees if someone ordered an appetizer. Thats not to say that every restaurant does this, of course, but it's pretty common.

I have to admit that I'm a bit conflicted about this particular scenario.

In my family, my mother would never have that. Then again, my mother would never let us order an appetizer just for ourselves, either. Even now, as adults, the familial understanding is that if appetizers are ordered, everybody shares. Of course, this is the norm in my family, where we believe nothing should ever be shared except food and bathroom space.

I think if the mom was trying to make a point to her daughter, and if the mom wasn't also offering up her daughter's entree, then all the OP or anyone else can do is sit back and participate or not based on their own conscience. I don't necessarily agree with the mom or the method, but not knowing the dynamic, I don't want to call judgment on her, either.

I don't think the mom was wrong per say, but I would not have felt comfortable taking the food, either. 


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