This is really interesting to me! In our family of 5 appetizers are always shared. If there aren't enough to go around we'd order two plates. It would never occur to me not
to offer a piece of our app to the other people at the table. Maybe the other Mom's family is like mine? I'm not suggesting it's wrong not to share, just that they always have been at every meal I've been to (including with my parents, DH's parents, friends, etc.). If someone else has ordered and is paying for the dish I will take a small piece if there is plenty (and I like whatever it is) otherwise I would decline.
I have a 12yo DD and I could see her thinking "Yay, Mom doesn't want any, that means all 8 for me!" and then, if I offered them around, looking upset like "Nooo! My mozz sticks!"
. I wouldn't consider them hers
, they'd be ours
, even if I wasn't having any. I'd make sure I provided her enough to eat even if that meant ordering an additional app or a dessert if she finished her meal and was still hungry.
That said I would never ask her to share something that was a single serving - her entree, sides, drink, dessert, etc. I will ask my kids for a bite but they're allowed to say no. They'd just better not whine if Mom declines to share, too.