It has been said here that an invitation is not a summons, the OP can just decline the invite. But the host has the right to serve the foods she prefers to. It is not polite to bring food to someone else's house. It is especially not polite when one knows the host would not feel free to decline this honor but would be silently fuming as in the OP.
People go to restaurants all the time and order appetizers and a salad, so expecting someone to either fill up before the party ( or after) and have what she can of the offerings or decline the invite, is not so heinous of the host. It is after all, what would be expected of anyone who did not like the what host had to offer if the situation was reversed - or if the meat eater simply did not like the entree.
Wow...with friends like that, who needs enemies? People choose not to eat meat for various and sundry reasons, none of which are actually your business. A good host or hostess shows flexibility and consideration for all
his/her guests. For instance, I cannot eat pork or shellfish - my religion forbids it. I certainly won't die if I eat a bit of shrimp scampi or a piece of bacon, but I prefer not to.
I'm not saying I can't have those things in my presence at all - simply that if they are offered to me, I cannot eat them as a matter of religious principle. If you invite me to a dinner at your house and go out of your way to serve shellfish and pork in every single dish
, I'm certainly not only going to feel like I am unwelcome, but that you are going out of your way to offend me and ensure that I never want to come back to your house. That's an extreme example, of course, but what you're saying is that you don't care about your guests and that their dietary preferences are an imposition you'd rather not deal with at all. That's a great way to lose friends really
On another note, do you have food allergies/sensitivities/a religious/personal conviction about eating certain foods? Because I'm certain you would feel differently about having those accounted for when invited as a guest in someone else's home. In fact, I'm sure I've seen you talk about that very issue, and the double standard you hold is jaw-dropping.