S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators

[Nikko-chan]

I remembered another food dictator in my life.

One of my former girlfriends would only eat certain foods.  This in itself wasn't bad, but the other part of it was she didn't want any foods she didn't like to be in the house.  At a restaurant she would look at your food and make gagging noises if it wasn't on her acceptable list.

 

This past year when we had Christmas eve dinner my uncles nephew and his family stopped by. One of their daughters (she is eighteen so most definitely out of the elementary age that was mentioned) looked at something on someone's plate and was like "That's disgusting and stuck her finger in her mouth and made gagging noises. Like, really? Are you like... five or something? And then I remembered why I hate going to family events when they are there.

[StarDrifter]

Until I was pregnant, I never encountered this, thank goodness.

However, the moment I announced my pregnancy all of a sudden every single mouthful of food I ate was being scrutinised, not by people close to me but by random friends-of-friends on Facebook.

Worst moments? I posted a photo of some freaking awesome escargot that we had at this great little french restaurant here in my home town, and this was when I was about six months pregnant. I'd already eaten my half of the dozen, and Husband was working on his half. When we got home there was a message on the house phone from one of Husband's aunts, who had seen the photo on her son's FB feed and had decided to call my MIL to get our home number and had left a three-minute message berating me for 'putting my child in danger' by eating 'that filth' while pregnant.

I ignored the message, and when Husband mentioned it to MIL when we saw her next she was mortified, apologised for giving out our number (not a big deal, she could have found us in the White Pages) and said that she'd speak to her sister-in-law about it.

A couple of weeks later at Christmas we had a fantastic buffet of cold meat and salads (Australian Christmas. Hot food is not what you want when it's 40-plus degrees celsius in the shade) and this same aunt spent the entire afternoon glaring at me and muttering under her breath about 'irresponsible young people' and how my child is going to be deformed because I dared to, at six months pregnant, to eat what I liked, only avoiding soft cheeses because there'd been a listeria scare in our state earlier that month.

I mean, sure, I expected some raised eyebrows when I went for the prawns, but honestly, I trust my MIL and FIL to prepare them properly, and I knew that if I wanted to they would not have cared if I'd passed them up - but prawns!

What I was not expecting was this aunt to leap to her feet and SHOUT at me "PUT THAT DOWN!" I actually dropped my plate in shock (it hit the table and didn't break but I got salad dressing all over my dress) and she then started to yell at me about eating unsafe things while pregnant.

MIL asked her to leave, thankfully, and Husband took me aside because I was pretty shaken up by being screamed at by a relative I'd only met twice before this (at the two previous family Christmas gatherings) about my food choices.

MIL informed me yesterday that this aunt asked her over the weekend why she wasn't invited to my baby shower...

[NyaChan]

Yikes StarDrifter!  Kudos to your husband & family for watching out for you.  Aunt needs to mind her own business.  To be honest, I didn't even realize that snails could be a problem, let alone prawns.

[LadyDyani]

On the subject of food dictators, my husband isn't as picky an eater as I am, but he's generally a less healthy one.  He has the tendency to binge on a food... eating an entire bag of M&Ms, things like that.  I'll eat plenty of sweets, but generally a lot more moderately.  But he'll also go through periods when he tries to eat really healthy.  And instead of just, say, not eating a ton of candy or whatever, he'll start eating some sort of spinach-and-egg omelet and pea soup and asking me to buy kale and stuff like that.  And then he really wants me to eat this sort of thing with him, and I feel bad for not doing it too and discouraging him.  But... I don't like spinach.  Or kale.  Or runny eggs.  Or any of the other stuff recommended through this exercise program or whatever it is.  I might try to eat the same foods that I normally eat, but maybe try to eat a little less junk and a little more good stuff, but that's about the only change I'm willing to make.  And then the health kick he's on doesn't last and he's back to regular diet, and I'm never quite sure if it's my fault for not being more supportive or if it was pointless for me to join in because he would have dropped it anyway.  Oy.  He's not really being a food dictator as he isn't trying to force me or make me feel guilty, but it's just sort of frustrating.

5:15 - Get home from work
5:30 - eat half a bag of black licorice jelly beans
5:45 - eat half a bag of circus peanuts
6:30 - complain about not being hungry when your wife puts a lasagna on the table
7:00 - complain about your stomach hurting

Drives me crazy.

The worst part of it is when he gets on a health kick, complains about eating too much fatty food, complains about needing to lose twenty pounds, and then asks me to make something decadent for dinner.  Yes, stuffed shells are delicious (and they totally have spinach in them!  That makes them healthy, right?), but I don't think that much cheese per serving will help you lose weight.

[ladyknight1]

I don't know if it's psychosomatic or not, but I find that how much caffeine I'm ingesting on a regular basis affects how much caffeine affects me.  When I was in high school and college, I used to drink iced tea as my regular drink (caffeinated, although tea doesn't have a lot in it).  I would also drink some amount of Coke, which has more than tea but nowhere near coffee.  Because I was regularly drinking a low amount of caffeine, my body was used to it.  I could have a Coke or iced tea late at night, no problem.

Later I switched to decaf tea (which still has caffeine but it's *really* minimal), and for a while I wasn't drinking any soda.  So I was having almost no caffeine on a regular basis.  I then found that when I did have a Coke, I could really feel the effect.  Suddenly soda would keep me up at night when it never had before.

Now I've been drinking Coke a lot more, and my system seems to be somewhat confused.  I have noticed that if I drink a Coke and then try to take a nap soon afterwards, I sometimes find that I doze lightly but I never seem to fall asleep, and I just keep thinking about things.  I don't feel like my heart is racing or like I'm all hyped up, I just don't seem to be able to drop all the way off to sleep.

On the subject of food dictators, my husband isn't as picky an eater as I am, but he's generally a less healthy one.  He has the tendency to binge on a food... eating an entire bag of M&Ms, things like that.  I'll eat plenty of sweets, but generally a lot more moderately.  But he'll also go through periods when he tries to eat really healthy.  And instead of just, say, not eating a ton of candy or whatever, he'll start eating some sort of spinach-and-egg omelet and pea soup and asking me to buy kale and stuff like that.  And then he really wants me to eat this sort of thing with him, and I feel bad for not doing it too and discouraging him.  But... I don't like spinach.  Or kale.  Or runny eggs.  Or any of the other stuff recommended through this exercise program or whatever it is.  I might try to eat the same foods that I normally eat, but maybe try to eat a little less junk and a little more good stuff, but that's about the only change I'm willing to make.  And then the health kick he's on doesn't last and he's back to regular diet, and I'm never quite sure if it's my fault for not being more supportive or if it was pointless for me to join in because he would have dropped it anyway.  Oy.  He's not really being a food dictator as he isn't trying to force me or make me feel guilty, but it's just sort of frustrating.

My caffeine tolerance used to be what yours was, MP. I would think "I don't need coffee, because I am on as it is". Then my son became a teenager, and I started going to school and working, so I have at least one cup of coffee a day, and tea during the late morning and afternoon. I can drink tea up until bedtime, and still go to bed.

My FIL makes a big deal out of avoiding caffeine after lunch, but I think it has to do with his increasing insomnia, so we indulge him in his one borderline SS trait. 

[NotCinderell]

A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.

2) I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them." 

A lady I once worked with was allergic to eggs.  Her mother would make her eat an egg every morning for breakfast and then complain she was being difficult and obstinate when she would vomit afterwards.

[NotCinderell]

So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."

I get this about coffee.  I do not like coffee, anything coffee-flavored or has any coffee-like substance in it.  I get, "put sugar and cream in it!"  "It's low-calorie!"  "If you start drinking it, you will grow to love it!"

I don't like it.  Period.  Why force myself to ingest something I hate?

I don't understand those people, either.  I've always loved coffee, and I wouldn't drink it if I didn't like it.  I almost never drink alcohol, because I usually don't like the taste.  When I was younger, people told me that I needed to acquire a taste for it, but I never saw the point.

[weeblewobble]

So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them."

I get this about coffee.  I do not like coffee, anything coffee-flavored or has any coffee-like substance in it.  I get, "put sugar and cream in it!"  "It's low-calorie!"  "If you start drinking it, you will grow to love it!"

I don't like it.  Period.  Why force myself to ingest something I hate?

I don't understand those people, either.  I've always loved coffee, and I wouldn't drink it if I didn't like it.  I almost never drink alcohol, because I usually don't like the taste.  When I was younger, people told me that I needed to acquire a taste for it, but I never saw the point.

What they're really telling you is, "Conform!  Make me feel better about my life choices!  Don't make me ask myself questions about my habits!"

[MommyPenguin]

I've been told that I should drink coffee and alcohol, and that I would acquire the taste, as well.  And like you, I just don't see the point.  What health benefit do they really give you?  I'm not a teatotaller--I will drink a bit of wine at Passover, or if somebody offers it to me at their house, or whatever, but I'm just not a big drinker and I don't see any reason to try to make myself become one.  It's expensive!

[Minmom3]

AND alcohol is empty calories.  And REALLY, shouldn't consuming empty calories be pleasurable to YOU the drinker?  Why do it if it ISN'T pleasurable?!?!?!  Honestly, now.  I don't begin to understand WHY people push others to drink or imbibe. 

And me?  I HATE coffee.  In all forms.  Candy, icecream, loaded up with stuff at the coffee shop - I DON'T LIKE it.  More for you, none for me.  It's mostly worn off by now, but I used to get tons of people just flabbergasted that I disliked it so much.  I've had the option to drink it from a very young age, and my mother drinks it with about half milk or cream.  I still don't like it.  The only part of coffee I like is the smell of grinding the roasted coffee.  Other than that, "it's all yours!"...

[weeblewobble]

A couple of food dictator stories:

1) I had a coworker who was obsessed with fat grams in food. She consumed no fat. She also believed that everyone else should consume no fat. She rapidly lost quite a lot of weight. She believed the rest of us could/should lose weight like she did if we watched our fat grams the way she did. She would patrol the break room during all of the rotating lunch periods to see what we were eating, and, of course, to make comments about the amount of fat in our food.

She let us all know that she had a physical coming up, and she was so excited to hear what her doctor thought about her weight and her diet. Guess what: Her doctor was not pleased with her diet or her weight. She had managed, in eating no fat, to mess up her blood chemistry. Her blood levels were all out of whack. To her credit, she did share that with us. She was informed by her doctor that a healthy diet includes some fat. We didn't get anymore comments from her about what we were eating.

2) I do not like eggs. Ever since I was very young, I have not eaten them. I don't like the taste or the texture. My family always gave me a hard time about this because they are all egg eaters. If they were eating eggs, I would eat a bowl of cereal. I heard about how weird I was for not liking eggs. I was pressured incessantly about eating eggs. I have tried eggs on numerous occasions, and the result is the same: I don't like them. The pressure about eggs was applied even after I was on my own. I'd still hear about it when I visited. "Don't you want some eggs?" "Everyone else likes eggs." "You should at least try the eggs." "If you don't eat the eggs, you'll hurt my feelings."

When I was well into my 20s, my mother told me that she'd known I didn't like eggs from the time I was a baby. Apparently, the pediatrician told her to feed me jarred egg yolks. I think it was for extra protein. She did that, and I just spit them out. I would not eat the eggs. When she told me this, I said, "So you've known for my entire life that I don't like eggs, and yet you continue to pressure me anyway about eating them." "Well, yes," she said. "If you would eat them, eventually, you would grow to like them." 

A lady I once worked with was allergic to eggs.  Her mother would make her eat an egg every morning for breakfast and then complain she was being difficult and obstinate when she would vomit afterwards.

I compare this to two mom's I know who are absolutely vigilant about making sure that 1) everybody at school is aware of/understands how serious their children's allergies are and 2) go out of their way to make sure they provide a safe alternative to any possibly allergen-contaminated snack at school events.  And I want to cry.

[kherbert05]

Stardrifter - Your husband's aunt takes the cake. I'm glad your DH and MIL had your back. Reminded me of a funny story.


I was traveling with our HS Drill team in Europe. We were at one of those touristy ethinic song and dance with traditional meal things. I was at a round table with 8 - 10 other girls. Suddenly in the middle of the meal a girl jumps up, leans across the table and jerks my plate away. Due to a pause in the music you could hear her scream - don't eat that.


Not a food dictator though - she thought she tasted peanuts in a mixed veg dish. Not something I was expecting in Scotland. We never did find out exactly what was in the dish - if it was peanuts, or something with a similar feel and taste. The girl's mother was a chaperon and she got me a sandwich from the hotel to eat that night. 

[Piratelvr1121]

I will say that when I was a teen I hated the taste of alcohol but in getting older have developed a taste for things.  In my college years I thought wine tasted like battery acid.  Come to realize it was just the dry reds my parents loved.   Now I do like some whites and some reds, like merlot and sweet reds.

I used to also hate beer but now like some kinds and even like Guinness.  Though I have to be in the mood for that one. 

[weeblewobble]

I totally got Food Dictatored today by a sushi chef, but it actually worked out pretty well.  I ordered a roll but asked him to leave off the spicy tuna that was supposed to be on top of it.  Cue a flurry of confused, somewhat offended Japanese (on the chef's side) between the waitress and the chef.  He looked at me and asked, "Allergy?" I shook my head and said, "No, I just don't want it. Thank you."

He prepared my roll with a little grumbling and then a few minutes later, handed me another little plate with two bits of rice with some blowtorch-seared thin slices of meat on top of it.  It looked just like beef.  I'd ordered an appetizer involving beef, so I assumed that was what it was.  I took a big bite of the meat and realized, 1) it was NOT beef.  And 2) it was really, really good.

I asked the waitress what it was and it was seared tuna.  The chef grinned at me and said, "See?"  I took being "Dictatored" a lot better than I thought I would and burst out laughing.  I admitted that he was right, apologized for skipping the tuna and promised that I would leave the tuna on the roll when I ordered. 

I know under normal circumstances, I wouldn't appreciate this.  But I don't think the chef was trying to trick me.  And it all turned out OK

[LadyDyani]

I totally got Food Dictatored today by a sushi chef, but it actually worked out pretty well.  I ordered a roll but asked him to leave off the spicy tuna that was supposed to be on top of it.  Cue a flurry of confused, somewhat offended Japanese (on the chef's side) between the waitress and the chef.  He looked at me and asked, "Allergy?" I shook my head and said, "No, I just don't want it. Thank you."

He prepared my roll with a little grumbling and then a few minutes later, handed me another little plate with two bits of rice with some blowtorch-seared thin slices of meat on top of it.  It looked just like beef.  I'd ordered an appetizer involving beef, so I assumed that was what it was.  I took a big bite of the meat and realized, 1) it was NOT beef.  And 2) it was really, really good.

I asked the waitress what it was and it was seared tuna.  The chef grinned at me and said, "See?"  I took being "Dictatored" a lot better than I thought I would and burst out laughing.  I admitted that he was right, apologized for skipping the tuna and promised that I would leave the tuna on the roll when I ordered. 

I know under normal circumstances, I wouldn't appreciate this.  But I don't think the chef was trying to trick me.  And it all turned out OK

I love that.  One time we were at a Greek restaurant, and the owner was walking around the dining area and talking to the customers. When he reached our table, he asked what we had ordered, chatted a bit about the food, then asked why we hadn't ordered any hummus.  When I mentioned that humus wasn't to my taste, he insisted that I may not like hummus from other restaurants, but I would like his.  Then he went to the kitchen and brought out some hummus, free of charge.  He was right, it was delicious.