General Etiquette > Family and Children

S/O Sharing dessert - Food Dictators

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weeblewobble:
I probably would have ordered the dessert to go and eaten it when I got home.  I'm all for being considerate, but I have an instinctual negative almost over-reaction to people trying to control me.  I've had people say, "Oh, you don't want that, you want XYZ." when I mention what I want.  Or, "Wow, are you really going to eat all that?" when I'm starving after spending two hours at the gym that morning.  What I eat is no one's business.

I, too, had an ex-friend on a perpetual diet.  (Fiona, the one who was always trying to "improve" me by rescuing me from my own tastes and trying to force me to like different tv shows, books, etc.) It never lasted more than a few months as she bounced from fad to fad.  She frequently told me what I did and didn't need to eat based on whatever fad of the moment she was devoted to.  I pretty much ignored her and did as I pleased. Until she went carb-free and I ordered pasta for lunch.  She spent the better part of an hour complaining about how mean and unsupportive I was to eat that in front of her, and how baaaad it was for me, and I was never going to change for the better if I kept eating this way.  I enjoyed my pasta and went home.  She emailed me a menu/meal plan she'd put together for me from her diet plan because she was "determined to fix this problem for me."

I ignored her meal plan and declined meals with her from then on.  She continued to harp on me about my tastes and need for personal improvement, including telling me to take a direction with my work that probably would have tanked my career if I'd followed it.  I continued to ignore her advice, making her lament about my stubborn nature.  Because good friends do what they're told, I guess.  ::)

The final straw was when I asked her why she was trying to improve me all of the time.  Either I was good enough to be her friend or I wasn't.  The look on her face said it all.  I relieved her of the burden of being friends with "someone like me." :)  And I'm a lot happier.

jaxsue:
I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

GSNW:

--- Quote from: jaxsue on February 23, 2013, 09:57:10 AM ---I have a friend whose parents take us out to dinner when they come to town. The dad always brings coupons for chain restaurants and decides where we will eat and what we will eat, based on the coupons. Fine, he's paying, his rules.

What was odd was one time friend and I decided we'd order an app (to share, we said). We'd pay for it. The dad was visibly upset. And when friend oredered a soda instead of a water, dad was upset once again.

Okay, so dad pays, dad makes the rules. Yet when I paid for everyone's meals the dad still controlled everything! The level of control was astounding (yes, he is "Mr. Control" with a lot of things).

--- End quote ---

I would probably decline invites from this man in the future!  That sounds really uncomfortable for everyone except the food nazi.

*inviteseller:
Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope. 

jaxsue:

--- Quote from: *inviteseller on February 23, 2013, 03:26:10 PM ---Water???   He only let you get a water?  A soda is like $2 with free refills !  If I went out to eat with them again, I would ask for a separate check and pay my own way to eat what I want.  If someone is treating, I keep it reasonable, but as an adult, to be told what I will be ordering and only getting to drink water?  Nope.

--- End quote ---

Yeah, he has control issues. According to friend, he's always been this way. I'm going to try your suggestion next time. It should be interesting.  :)

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