I agree, that's awful!
I remember being on vacation when I was 13, I think and for breakfast I served myself a bowl of granola and sat down at the breakfast bar to start eating. My dad snatched it out from under me just before I was about to eat and threw part of it away so I would have a more acceptable serving size. Made me FURIOUS and I refused to eat the rest of it, or anything else for breakfast. My folks were convinced I was getting chubby that year.
I think I did gain about 5 pounds that year but hello, puberty? The weight was showing up in my abdomen, hips and thighs so the usual places where girls start to fill out. Yet I was hearing "You're getting chubby, look at that extra fat there!" It's no wonder I still had some lingering body image issues into my 30's.
Ugh. I wish parents, particularly fathers, realized what sort of damage they are doing to their daughters when they express hostility or disgust/disdain for their pubescent daughters' developments. It's something the girls can't help, so they feel trapped in their own bodies, out of control and frightened by changes that are already pretty disconcerting. Their parents' expressing their anxiety over the changes by making the daughter feel even MORE paranoid about her body, that's just wrong.
My little sister developed really early. I was an extreme late bloomer, so my parents were completely unprepared for this "wild recessive gene" to kick in and put my sister in a full-fledged ladies support garment by the time she was in eighth grade. My dad, bless him, was SO uncomfortable discussing anything related to our bodies, but he never made Sis feel bad about herself.
On the other hand, a mother involved in the booster club for the high school activity Sis and I were both involved in grilled my mom about what Mom planned to do to about Sis's "problem." Mom described her plans for extra supportive sports bras until the conversation progress and Mom realized this woman, Lady Dictator, expected my mom to put Sis on a diet to starve
the curves off of Sis.
It shouldn't have surprised Mom. This was the same woman who accompanied our whole group to our annual weeklong summer training camp*, which involved strenuous activity in the hot sun for up to eight hours a day. Lady Dictactor insisted on rooming with her daughter - who was not rail thin, but certainly not fat - instead of letting her room with her friends. We soon realized that we never saw LD Daughter at meal times. Lady Dictator had put her daughter on a strict diet limited to "meal replacement shakes." She roomed with LD Daughter to make sure that she didn't sneak food. Not to mention, Lady Dictator discouraged her daughter from drinking at water breaks because she didn't want her to ruin the slimming effect of sweating out the excess water weight... you know, DEHYDRATION.
Daughter was really sick a few days into the camp and our program director took Lady Dictator aside to have a hushed, but very adamant conversation none of us were able to hear. Suddenly, Daughter was allowed to eat meals and drink as much as she wanted, while Lady Dictator looked on with a pinched, sour lemon expression. She lamented that her daughter had ruined all of the progress she'd made, pigging out like that. Yep, having a whole sandwich at lunch after working out in the sun for hours is really indulgent.
I really wish I could say LD Daughter broke away as an adult and is in control of her own life. But I've seen them recently and her mother has her pressed just as firmly under her thumb as ever. Daughter is in her mid-thirties and very thin, but seems absolutely miserable.
*Pretty normal. Lots of parents accompanied our group, which involved dozens of students. But the parents usually roomed together, allowing the kids to share quarters and bond.