Author Topic: Did I overstep?  (Read 7033 times)

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Luxie

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #15 on: February 23, 2013, 04:54:05 AM »
I teach college freshmen and I can't imagine something like this being a problem - though I'd probably aim to send to their dorm addresses instead of home, if they had them. I guess it could possibly depend on the age of the children - I'm assuming they're younger/ definitely all still at home with their parents. I don't see a thing wrong with it. You have that contact info available to you because you're their teacher, and it's absolutely legit to want to send the notes. It's not like you were trying to sell them something.

Bijou

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #16 on: February 23, 2013, 06:16:11 AM »
I agree with snowdragon on this, but also think it is kind of school related since it only happens because you are the teacher of the child.  I have sort of mixed feelings.  I would send the note home with the child and hope for the best.
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MrsCrazyPete

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #17 on: February 23, 2013, 07:42:54 AM »
You definitely did the right thing. How else would you distribute the cards? If, for example, half of your third grade class's parents gave gifts, how would get the cards sent? A bunch of 7-8 year olds are definitely going to notice if MrsTeacher gave half the class special cards to take home. Then half the parents are mad because their child didn't receive a special card. And anyway, who's to say that the card handed out in class actually makes it into the hands of the parent? It could wind up in the child's desk for months.

Mailing the cards is the only way to ensure that each family is thanked appropriately.
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Roe

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #18 on: February 23, 2013, 08:00:26 AM »
GNSW, your situation has nothing in common with what Snowdragon is describing.

My son's teachers have sent thank you notes during the break.  My son always enjoyed receiving mail, esp from his teachers.  I thought it was pretty special of them to think of him during her time off. 


cicero

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #19 on: February 23, 2013, 08:28:06 AM »
I think it is a lovely gesture.

and i am curious - don't teachers visit their students homes, as least once a year? I don't live in the US so I don't know what the norm is there.

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sassydeej

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #20 on: February 23, 2013, 08:43:50 AM »
I think you were fine in sending thank you notes to the home.  As previous posters have said my DD has received notes in the mail from her teacher this year and she was excited to read them. 

I have been really impressed with her teacher this year as my daughter had eye surgery and her teacher called us at home on the weekend to see how DD was doing and what she would need help with in school the following week.

It's those extra touches that can really make a teacher stand out and make the school year go better.

YummyMummy66

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #21 on: February 23, 2013, 09:00:38 AM »
I think you are fine in sending Thank you notes to the home.  When my daughter has given gifts, this is what has always been done.

I don't know what grade you teach, but if you were to hand these out in class, I see a whole other can of worms opening.

"Mrs. Smith, what did you give Susie?  A thank you card you say?  For what?  Oh, she got you a gift?  I did not know we were supposed to get you gifts?  or I could not afford to get you a gift.  Sniff, sniff"...

And if my child was a student of yours, why wouldn't you have the address?   Or why couldn't you get the address if needed for something like this?  A person's address is not private knowledge like a phone number.  Anyone can get my address and send me something in the mail. 

I would not complain or be upset about a Thank you.  Surveys or anything else, most definitly. 

rose red

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #22 on: February 23, 2013, 09:12:13 AM »
I have no problem with it.  In my entire school career, I only received one thank you letter in th email from my 3rd grade teacher and I still remember it all these years.  It never occured to me that my teachers didn't know my address or at least able to look it up.  Same for my boss and the admin staff. 

Zilla

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2013, 09:26:42 AM »
I wouldn't be offended but I would be surprised.  I would think addresses wouldn't be available to teachers so readily like that.  I think it's best to note on your website/electronic email something like, "Thank you all so much for everything you have done!  Your child will be given correspondence to take home this weekend.  Have a lovely break."


And attached a general flyer going over break dates for those that did not receive a thank you card and the rest the thank you cards.

Zilla

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2013, 09:29:42 AM »
Yes it would.  Teachers using school records for personal use ( and did ) drive me batty. But I would have complained the day it arrived, not two months later.

Really?  Was the sort of personal mail you received similar to that in the OP, or other stuff?

I think for 1 piece of mail a year, it probably wouldn't even occur to me to be bothered by it, personally.

One of my teachers used our records to send out a survey about certain medical conditions.  Another used the info to call and ask about our neighborhoods and if there were any houses in the area for sale. it does not help that I live in a small enough village that I still run into the first teacher  almost 40 years later.  I had one teacher do the thank you note thing...hated that too,  they could have just given them out in class or placed them in desks or something of that ilk.  It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?


I have noticed three times now that you don't read the OP's scenario and insert your own which are entirely different.  A thank you note isn't anything remotely like a survey or request for information.  Yikes!  I would have complained as well if I were to receive either of these.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #25 on: February 23, 2013, 09:33:14 AM »
I think its fine. I don't have kids, but if I did, and they received a thank you from their teacher in the mail, I'd simply think it was nice that he/she took the time to write and send the card and acknowledge the gift.

I agree that giving them out in class isn't the best way; as others have pointed out, what if not every student gave the teacher a gift? I have to be honest, over the years, hearing about friends who have to buy teacher gifts etc. I don't ever recall giving my teachers any holiday gifts. Maybe the other kids did, and I didn't, or maybe it just wasn't done. I honestly don't remember. So if it were the case that my mom didn't provide me with any type of gift, and the other kids did give them, I'd feel pretty hurt if my teachers handed out thank yous to them in class.

Some of the other examples, given, no, not at all appropriate. But in this case, it was simply responding to something already done, not soliciting or trying to gather information from the students and their families.

acicularis

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #26 on: February 23, 2013, 09:57:54 AM »
Teachers have always given thank you notes to my kids at school, so I would be surprised if one came in the mail. I can't imagine being upset by it, though. And my kids would probably love it.


PastryGoddess

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #27 on: February 23, 2013, 10:25:09 AM »
I think it is a lovely gesture.

and i am curious - don't teachers visit their students homes, as least once a year? I don't live in the US so I don't know what the norm is there.

Not where I'm from in the US (Maryland).  Not sure about other places
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oopsie

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #28 on: February 23, 2013, 10:44:38 AM »
I would love to see the responses the parent mentioned in the OP would get if they started a thread here on e-hell complaining about receiving a post delivered, handwritten thank you note... ;)

snowdragon

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #29 on: February 23, 2013, 10:46:41 AM »
Yes it would.  Teachers using school records for personal use ( and did ) drive me batty. But I would have complained the day it arrived, not two months later.

Really?  Was the sort of personal mail you received similar to that in the OP, or other stuff?

I think for 1 piece of mail a year, it probably wouldn't even occur to me to be bothered by it, personally.

One of my teachers used our records to send out a survey about certain medical conditions.  Another used the info to call and ask about our neighborhoods and if there were any houses in the area for sale. it does not help that I live in a small enough village that I still run into the first teacher  almost 40 years later.  I had one teacher do the thank you note thing...hated that too,  they could have just given them out in class or placed them in desks or something of that ilk.  It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?


I have noticed three times now that you don't read the OP's scenario and insert your own which are entirely different.  A thank you note isn't anything remotely like a survey or request for information.  Yikes!  I would have complained as well if I were to receive either of these.


How do you know that I don't read?

As I said originally  -  I would be offended at the scenario in the OP and have been if you read my whole post. There is no reason for a teacher to be using personal information belonging to students for her personal wants. Whether that be a thank you note - or anything else.