Author Topic: Did I overstep?  (Read 8587 times)

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Sharnita

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #30 on: February 23, 2013, 10:51:04 AM »
Teachers are supposed to mail things to students' homes in my district - letters about grades, attendance, behavior, etc. 

snowdragon

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #31 on: February 23, 2013, 10:54:26 AM »
Teachers are supposed to mail things to students' homes in my district - letters about grades, attendance, behavior, etc.


And that is totally different than personal thank you notes.  They come from the school, really.

MummySweet

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #32 on: February 23, 2013, 11:03:26 AM »
I think it is a lovely gesture.

and i am curious - don't teachers visit their students homes, as least once a year? I don't live in the US so I don't know what the norm is there.

Not where I'm from in the US (Maryland).  Not sure about other places

Home visits haven't been my experience here in the US, but when we were in the UK home visits seemed common, particularly before a child started reception.  (The first year of full-day school.)   I thought it was great.  It gave us parents a real chance to get to know the teacher, our children a good introduction, and the teacher got a more well-rounded perspective on each student.

OP, I don't think you were overstepping at all.   You received a gift in a professional capacity and responded in like fashion.  I appreciate that you take the time to thank your students and their parents.

jaxsue

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #33 on: February 23, 2013, 11:04:00 AM »
I tried to think of a situation in which I'd be mad about receiving a thank you note. It strained my brain.

You did the polite thing. Anyone who would complain about this is ridiculous.

ITA. I have a lot of teacher friends, and with the minefields they have to go through to please everyone (parents, coaches, admin), I'd never imagine this would be one of them!

As a child I received TY notes in the mail from teachers. I treasured those, and my parents were fine with it.

Roe

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #34 on: February 23, 2013, 11:35:25 AM »
I wouldn't be offended but I would be surprised.  I would think addresses wouldn't be available to teachers so readily like that. 

From my experience, teachers have (and read) student folders where addresses are available and much more information.  (parents names, two or single parent household, siblings, etc)

GSNW

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #35 on: February 23, 2013, 11:48:45 AM »
As far as my district, we have access to personal info for all of our students.  I teach 7th grade, so u have about 175 students total.  Our attendance is online and is merged with the info system.  I can click a student and see:

Names of parents/guardians (and the people listed are the only ones I can talk to about the student)
All phone numbers they have given to the school
Residential address
Known disabilities or health alerts
DOB

I can also access all of their past grades and standardized test scores - so it's a lot of information.  I have never done a home visit.  Sadly, things like that are reserved for truant officers or athletic officials checking on zoning fibbers. 

I appreciate all the responses/thoughts.  It seems unfair to compare a thank you to an unsolicited private health survey or real estate inquiry, but some people are simply very guarded about privacy. 

Sharnita

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #36 on: February 23, 2013, 11:57:21 AM »
Teachers are supposed to mail things to students' homes in my district - letters about grades, attendance, behavior, etc.


And that is totally different than personal thank you notes.  They come from the school, really.

But your concern seemed to be teachers knowing your address.  SInce teachers are required to send these things they are, by defualt, required to know where students live and what their address is.

Bijou

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #37 on: February 23, 2013, 12:08:18 PM »
Having access to information about students and using it for personal communication are two different things.  The information provided to the school by the parents is intended for school use. 
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.

Sharnita

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #38 on: February 23, 2013, 12:10:44 PM »
Having access to information about students and using it for personal communication are two different things.  The information provided to the school by the parents is intended for school use.

I think that since the gift was recieved in thanks for school duties the thank you is part of school duties as well.  Using it to invite the parents to a personal party at the teacher's home would be different.

*inviteseller

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2013, 12:12:18 PM »
Last year, my DD's kindergarten teacher mailed her thank you notes home (Christmas gift and last day of school gift) and I didn't raise an eyebrow.  The teachers have our address on the child's paperwork, so it is not like she had to go snooping for it.  If I fill out the 10 tons of paperwork the week school starts for the teacher, I am going to assume they will have this address.  And she actually complained because you mailed a thank you?  Yeah, she is 'that parent'.  I bet if you had sent it home in the back pack and it had got lost, she would have thrown a fit because you did not thank her for the gift. 

Moray

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #40 on: February 23, 2013, 12:18:10 PM »
Having access to information about students and using it for personal communication are two different things.  The information provided to the school by the parents is intended for school use.

I think that since the gift was recieved in thanks for school duties the thank you is part of school duties as well.  Using it to invite the parents to a personal party at the teacher's home would be different.

Exactly. The thank you notes were a direct result of gifts given at school, in recognition and appreciation of the OP's teaching. That's not the same thing as a personal letter, invitation to a tupperware party, or other communication that would be outside the bounds of appropriate communiation.
Utah

*inviteseller

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #41 on: February 23, 2013, 12:31:03 PM »
I would much rather the teacher mail my daughter an handwritten note to our house that what her teacher did this year (and I really like her).  She sent a mass email to all the parents for thanking us for the group gift the homeroom parent put together.  First off, not everyone in the class contributed, second my 6 yr old DD does not check my emails, and third, she also had given her a small gift she personally picked out.  I have 2 kids in the district so I get all manners of mail, from individual teachers and the district and unless someone is in the witness protection program, just throw away the junk and keep what you want.  As far as Snowdragon saying "Well she knows mine, but I don't know hers." the school has to by law have an address for your kids.  If someone doesn't want the school to know, home school.

gramma dishes

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #42 on: February 23, 2013, 12:36:22 PM »
I'm confused as to why you are concerned about the teacher having access to your address.  One of the things that is taught in Kindergarten and reviewed again in first and second grades is making sure that each child knows his own home address and a phone number where his parents can be reached.  It's a safety issue if a child were to become lost or any other reason police or firemen might need to be involved.

For the record, I sent thank you notes to the home usually.  (I tried discreetly handing them out in class once and despite my best efforts at discretion, it didn't work out well.  Some of the notes apparently never made it home.) 

I'm puzzled as to why you would be concerned with the teacher having access to your home address.  Are you equally concerned about the teacher having access to your phone number?  I have called parents before to discuss specific issues and to my knowledge, no one ever seemed upset about that and in fact apparently a few parents even commented favorably to our principal about my staying in close contact with parents.   

In fact, I usually provided my own home phone number in a letter to the parents at the beginning of the year.   I received very few calls at home, but those I did were important (and brief).  I assumed that parents would not abuse that information and they did not.  Why would they not assume the same about me?

JenJay

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #43 on: February 23, 2013, 12:45:59 PM »
If my child received a mailed, personalized thank you note he'd be thrilled and I'd think very highly of the teacher. It wouldn't bother me at all that our home address had been used.

MariaE

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #44 on: February 23, 2013, 04:39:59 PM »
and i am curious - don't teachers visit their students homes, as least once a year? I don't live in the US so I don't know what the norm is there.

Never heard of that happening neither in Denmark nor New Zealand (only two countries I've gone to school in).

That said, my teachers have always had easy access to their students' addresses. That I'd take as a given.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice