Author Topic: Did I overstep?  (Read 8548 times)

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m2kbug

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #45 on: February 23, 2013, 04:57:01 PM »
and i am curious - don't teachers visit their students homes, as least once a year? I don't live in the US so I don't know what the norm is there.

I don't know in what area of the US the teachers make personal visits.  I've never heard of that, and it certainly doesn't happen in our school district.  I'm okay with notes and letters sent to my child by the teacher, but home visits seems to invade personal boundaries for me.  Not to get off topic, but anyone else feel like that?  (I know there are some circumstances where home visits and therapy are part of the "education plan.") 

And to pull it back onto topic, does anyone feel like thank-you notes or personal notes mailed to home from teacher to child invades boundaries?  I'm not talking about the earlier post of solicitations, which was totally wrong, but a postcard saying, "I can't wait to meet you," or a thank-you note.

MariaE

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #46 on: February 23, 2013, 05:03:15 PM »
And to pull it back onto topic, does anyone feel like thank-you notes or personal notes mailed to home from teacher to child invades boundaries?  I'm not talking about the earlier post of solicitations, which was totally wrong, but a postcard saying, "I can't wait to meet you," or a thank-you note.

Definitely not a thank you note - after all, that is written in direct response to something the student did.

An "I can't wait to meet you" postcard I'd find weird unless there was some sort of special occasion that prompted it (i.e. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in grade 6. My teacher sent me a "Get well soon - looking forward to having you back in class" card - I thought that perfectly appropriate and very sweet.)
 
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m2kbug

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #47 on: February 23, 2013, 05:10:10 PM »
And to pull it back onto topic, does anyone feel like thank-you notes or personal notes mailed to home from teacher to child invades boundaries?  I'm not talking about the earlier post of solicitations, which was totally wrong, but a postcard saying, "I can't wait to meet you," or a thank-you note.

Definitely not a thank you note - after all, that is written in direct response to something the student did.

An "I can't wait to meet you" postcard I'd find weird unless there was some sort of special occasion that prompted it (i.e. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in grade 6. My teacher sent me a "Get well soon - looking forward to having you back in class" card - I thought that perfectly appropriate and very sweet.)

Both my children, on occasion, (not every teacher) have received a postcard or note in the summer, a week or two before school starts from their prospective teacher introducing themself, saying that they are looking forward to the upcoming school year, can't wait to meet you.  I never found that odd and thought it was kind of neat.  I hope that makes more sense in better context...maybe you still think it's weird.  ;D

Zilla

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #48 on: February 23, 2013, 05:14:11 PM »
And to pull it back onto topic, does anyone feel like thank-you notes or personal notes mailed to home from teacher to child invades boundaries?  I'm not talking about the earlier post of solicitations, which was totally wrong, but a postcard saying, "I can't wait to meet you," or a thank-you note.

Definitely not a thank you note - after all, that is written in direct response to something the student did.

An "I can't wait to meet you" postcard I'd find weird unless there was some sort of special occasion that prompted it (i.e. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in grade 6. My teacher sent me a "Get well soon - looking forward to having you back in class" card - I thought that perfectly appropriate and very sweet.)

Both my children, on occasion, (not every teacher) have received a postcard or note in the summer, a week or two before school starts from their prospective teacher introducing themself, saying that they are looking forward to the upcoming school year, can't wait to meet you.  I never found that odd and thought it was kind of neat.  I hope that makes more sense in better context...maybe you still think it's weird.  ;D


In the summer when they mail out (or you can pick up) the class assignments, there is a page from the assigned teacher with expectations/excited to teach etc.  I rarely get anything in the mail but they are trying to really save on postage costs as well.  I don't think it's an invasion of privacy or anything like that.  I would just be surprised.

MariaE

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #49 on: February 23, 2013, 05:16:18 PM »
And to pull it back onto topic, does anyone feel like thank-you notes or personal notes mailed to home from teacher to child invades boundaries?  I'm not talking about the earlier post of solicitations, which was totally wrong, but a postcard saying, "I can't wait to meet you," or a thank-you note.

Definitely not a thank you note - after all, that is written in direct response to something the student did.

An "I can't wait to meet you" postcard I'd find weird unless there was some sort of special occasion that prompted it (i.e. I was hospitalized for 6 weeks in grade 6. My teacher sent me a "Get well soon - looking forward to having you back in class" card - I thought that perfectly appropriate and very sweet.)

Both my children, on occasion, (not every teacher) have received a postcard or note in the summer, a week or two before school starts from their prospective teacher introducing themself, saying that they are looking forward to the upcoming school year, can't wait to meet you.  I never found that odd and thought it was kind of neat.  I hope that makes more sense in better context...maybe you still think it's weird.  ;D

Not bad weird - just unusual weird :) Not something I've ever seen happening, but I wouldn't consider it crossing a boundary either in that situation. I was envisioning an "I can't wait to meet you" card sent out to select few rather than the class at large. Don't ask me why - it makes no sense. My only excuse is that it's late and I ought to go to bed ;)
 
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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #50 on: February 23, 2013, 05:39:52 PM »
Until middle school, the teachers here send out postcard a few weeks before school starts introducing themselves and saying they can't wait to meet them.  I think it is a nice way for the teacher to reach out to the kids before they get to meet.  And I know of one district here that the kindergarten teachers do a home visit the week before school starts to each of their students.  These are scheduled and the purpose is not only for the child to meet the teacher on 'their' home turf so that first day of school is not so scary, but for the teacher to get a glimpse of the child's environment.  This district is a lower socioeconomic  without alot of parental involvement in the schools, so the idea is instead of getting the parent to the teacher, bring the teacher to the parent. 

Bijou

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #51 on: February 23, 2013, 06:00:29 PM »
Having access to information about students and using it for personal communication are two different things.  The information provided to the school by the parents is intended for school use.

I think that since the gift was recieved in thanks for school duties the thank you is part of school duties as well.  Using it to invite the parents to a personal party at the teacher's home would be different.
I believe it was a holiday gift, not a thank you for school duties. 
The fact that a parent did complain about it would give me pause about doing it in the future.  I'm sure there are people who don't mind and those who do and sometimes you have to err on the side of caution.
I would assume these thank you notes would be done on a teacher's personal time and parents may be concerned that the child's information is somewhere other than at the school in a secure file. 
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MOM21SON

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #52 on: February 23, 2013, 06:18:29 PM »
I am stunned that some are appalled.  I admire the OP.  She took the time to acknowledge the gift in a personal manner.  I would be stunned, but happy if more teachers acted in the same manner. 

We have NEVER received a thank you note from any teacher, administrator, a office clerk, no one.  This is both at private and public schools.

The home address was used at it should be.  It was given for the use of school.  The teacher works at the school.

Solicitations are not OK by any means, this was clearly not.

Drunken Housewife

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #53 on: February 23, 2013, 06:49:20 PM »
We have gotten little thank you notes in the mail from teachers, and I was always touched and pleased.  It would never cross my mind to be offended. 
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Sharnita

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #54 on: February 23, 2013, 07:20:37 PM »
Yeah, progress reports, letters about attendance, calls home, grading - more often than not done on "personal time".
« Last Edit: February 23, 2013, 10:24:13 PM by Sharnita »

DoubleTrouble

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #55 on: February 23, 2013, 08:16:45 PM »
If my child received a mailed, personalized thank you note he'd be thrilled and I'd think very highly of the teacher. It wouldn't bother me at all that our home address had been used.

Same here. My boys got thank yous from all their teachers in their backpacks but if they had been sent to our home they would have been over the moon to get their own mail.

I really don't have a problem with it as I can remember back when I was in elementary school (mid-80's) having a school directory with everyone's phone #'s & addresses in it including teachers. Things have really changed since then but I would want my kids' teachers to know my address/phone number, after all they take care of my kids & need to reach us for any number of things.

MOM21SON

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #56 on: February 23, 2013, 08:20:11 PM »
Yeah, progress reports, letters about attendance, calls home, grading - more often tjan noy done on "personal time".

I am just curious.  Do you contact teachers off school hours?  Never send  a email? 


lisastitch

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #57 on: February 23, 2013, 08:44:52 PM »
It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?
There are probably very few (if any) teachers who would prank-call their students, or vandalize their houses.  However, unfortunately, there are students who would do those things to their teachers. 

Roe

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #58 on: February 23, 2013, 08:52:38 PM »
It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?
There are probably very few (if any) teachers who would prank-call their students, or vandalize their houses.  However, unfortunately, there are students who would do those things to their teachers.

I'm having a hard time understanding why anyone would be so offended and why anyone would think it odd if a teacher knows a student's address.

If you can't trust your teacher, the one who spends 7-8 hrs a day with your child, then I'm not sure what to say.   

Teachers are human and as such, do normal human things...like send thank you notes.

johelenc1

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #59 on: February 23, 2013, 09:00:25 PM »
OP - I think you were great.  Sending the thank you notes was a lovely thing to do.  There will always be some one who is unhappy with something.

Just for information sake...addresses are not really all that private - at least in the US.  If you own property in the US, someone can find your address.  It's all public record.  If you are renting, it's a little tougher.