Author Topic: Did I overstep?  (Read 8453 times)

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doodlemor

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #60 on: February 23, 2013, 09:50:48 PM »
.....  And she actually complained because you mailed a thank you?  Yeah, she is 'that parent'.  I bet if you had sent it home in the back pack and it had got lost, she would have thrown a fit because you did not thank her for the gift.

Parents like that make life harder for their children.

When I taught it was the norm to send thankyou notes. Everyone already knew where everyone else lived in this small district, who their parents and grandparents were, and what their dogs were named.  I don't think that it is much different there today.


There are probably very few (if any) teachers who would prank-call their students..... 


You made me laugh, lisastitch.  It never occurred to me that prank calling any of my students was an option. 

Sharnita

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #61 on: February 23, 2013, 10:30:32 PM »
Sorry, I was unclear - I should stop trying to reply using my phone.  Of course the teacher wrote the thank you note on personal time.  A vast amount of teacher duties are done during what is technically "personal time".  Most of grading, lesson planning and parent contact (by phone or mail) ends up happening during a teacher "personal time". Just because it is done during personal time doesn't mean it has nothing to do with teaching duties.

GSNW

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #62 on: February 23, 2013, 11:07:56 PM »
Too true.  You know that bad teacher everyone has experienced - boring lessons, no fun activities, reading out of the book day after day? 

This is the same teacher that brags to his/her colleagues "I don't step foot I campus a minute before contract time and I am driving away one second after." 

Thankfully, most of us realize that teaching is a profession where you take the time to do the job right.  I also fail to see how gifts are unrelated to "teaching duties."  If I were not teaching this kid, I can't imagine I would randomly receive a gift card from the family. 

m2kbug

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #63 on: February 23, 2013, 11:08:15 PM »
Sorry, I was unclear - I should stop trying to reply using my phone.  Of course the teacher wrote the thank you note on personal time.  A vast amount of teacher duties are done during what is technically "personal time".  Most of grading, lesson planning and parent contact (by phone or mail) ends up happening during a teacher "personal time". Just because it is done during personal time doesn't mean it has nothing to do with teaching duties.

I pretty much gathered that's what you were trying to say, though "tjan noy" took some translating...love the phone and typo..have you visited DYAC?   ;D 

artk2002

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #64 on: February 23, 2013, 11:58:54 PM »
I am stunned that some are appalled.  I admire the OP.  She took the time to acknowledge the gift in a personal manner.  I would be stunned, but happy if more teachers acted in the same manner. 

We have NEVER received a thank you note from any teacher, administrator, a office clerk, no one.  This is both at private and public schools.

The home address was used at it should be.  It was given for the use of school.  The teacher works at the school.

Solicitations are not OK by any means, this was clearly not.

I'm not getting it, either. My ex teaches middle school and she always sends thank you notes for gifts that she's been given. I've never heard of someone objecting to getting it at home, either. Some of these families are *very* protective of their information -- when the school published a paper roster, they offered a shredding service since you were supposed to destroy it each year. Using the school list for any kind of solicitation is an absolute no, but thank you notes are fine.

I get involved with this, in a way. One of my volunteer jobs for the school is to give tours for prospective families. We send hand-written thank you notes after each tour; obviously, this has to be to the home address. Again, I've never heard of a complaint about that.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

MariaE

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #65 on: February 24, 2013, 02:01:30 AM »
It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?
I've always known where my teachers lived. Well, in primary and intermediate school anyway, which is what we're talking about here.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

CakeEater

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #66 on: February 24, 2013, 05:23:37 AM »
It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?
There are probably very few (if any) teachers who would prank-call their students, or vandalize their houses.  However, unfortunately, there are students who would do those things to their teachers.

And who at the school should know the child's address at the school if not the teacher? Office staff? Why is the child's teacher less trusted with that information than office staff?

OP, you were just fine.

SiotehCat

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #67 on: February 24, 2013, 10:44:19 AM »
I wouldn't be offended at receiving a thank you note from one of DS's teachers in the mail. I still wouldn't feel good about it though.

I am comfortable with the teacher having our address, but I am not comfortable with them being able to use it for whatever they want. Thank you notes are not school related.

I wouldn't make an official complaint about it unless I had other complaints about the teacher.

artk2002

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #68 on: February 24, 2013, 10:48:32 AM »
I wouldn't be offended at receiving a thank you note from one of DS's teachers in the mail. I still wouldn't feel good about it though.

I am comfortable with the teacher having our address, but I am not comfortable with them being able to use it for whatever they want. Thank you notes are not school related.

I wouldn't make an official complaint about it unless I had other complaints about the teacher.

I disagree that they aren't school related. The gift was given in the context of the teacher's job and was, if done in the usual manner, given at school.

Edit: Even if you consider that it was a personal gift, not related to the teacher's job, it was still the family that made it personal. They are the ones that broke the boundary that several people, including you, feel is appropriate. If you don't want a personal response, don't give a personal gift.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

SiotehCat

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #69 on: February 24, 2013, 10:54:38 AM »
I wouldn't be offended at receiving a thank you note from one of DS's teachers in the mail. I still wouldn't feel good about it though.

I am comfortable with the teacher having our address, but I am not comfortable with them being able to use it for whatever they want. Thank you notes are not school related.

I wouldn't make an official complaint about it unless I had other complaints about the teacher.

I disagree that they aren't school related. The gift was given in the context of the teacher's job and was, if done in the usual manner, given at school.

Edit: Even if you consider that it was a personal gift, not related to the teacher's job, it was still the family that made it personal. They are the ones that broke the boundary that several people, including you, feel is appropriate. If you don't want a personal response, don't give a personal gift.

The gift was personal, but it was given in person also. I don't think the teacher would be very happy if her address was found out and the gift was mailed to her instead.

She should have given the TY note in person.

Mopsy428

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #70 on: February 24, 2013, 10:57:43 AM »
It was really odd knowing this teacher could know where I lived - but I wasn't supposed to be able to know where they lived. If that was protection for them - why was the same protection not afforded to the students?
There are probably very few (if any) teachers who would prank-call their students, or vandalize their houses.  However, unfortunately, there are students who would do those things to their teachers.
Teachers also have to pass criminal background checks--not so with their parents.

ETA: Why would a parent need to know where a teacher lives? You have her business information and e-mail address. That's really all you need to know to get in touch with her.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2013, 10:59:31 AM by Mopsy428 »

*inviteseller

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #71 on: February 24, 2013, 12:15:47 PM »
It was a thank you sent to an address you (general) provide willingly, for a gift you sent willingly.  Why is it an issue?  And Snowdragon...honest question for you.  Should teachers not be allowed to have access to any of their students personal information (Address, phone number, parents name, who can legally pick them up from school, medical conditions)?  And if yoy say they should not, may I ask why?

stargazer

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #72 on: February 24, 2013, 12:33:30 PM »
I really  do not get anyone who is uncomfortable with the teacher having the address.  Or is it the fact they got it from the school list?  Would it have made you feel better if she got the address from her home phone book (you know, the thing we have had delivered yearly for DECADES - and I still get them - that had your name and address in it)?  It's a thank you note for crying out loud.  Students, especially younger ones, are not so good about always delivering things to their parents so it makes sense to mail it.  Especially if the gift was given on the last day before break and it was going to be weeks before seeing them again.

SiotehCat

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #73 on: February 24, 2013, 12:36:14 PM »
I really  do not get anyone who is uncomfortable with the teacher having the address.  Or is it the fact they got it from the school list?  Would it have made you feel better if she got the address from her home phone book (you know, the thing we have had delivered yearly for DECADES - and I still get them - that had your name and address in it)?  It's a thank you note for crying out loud.  Students, especially younger ones, are not so good about always delivering things to their parents so it makes sense to mail it.  Especially if the gift was given on the last day before break and it was going to be weeks before seeing them again.

I am not uncomfortable with the teacher having the address. I am uncomfortable with her using it for things that are not related to my childs education and/or related to school events.

She could have easily handed the TY note to the child like the child handed her the present.

stargazer

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Re: Did I overstep?
« Reply #74 on: February 24, 2013, 12:52:14 PM »
Well, you have given her a gift - I doubt she has pre-made TY notes made out.  The break for Christmas is really long - I would be very uncomfortable waiting that long to send a TY note and I know too many parents that complain about their kids not giving them things the teacher has sent home.