[quote author=Fleur link=topic=125078.msg2896190#msg2896190 While I'm sorry for your situation, I don't think it is actually all that relevant to the OP. The OP didn't ask Rora to keep checking in, rather the opposite. She made her boundaries clear, and I don't think she should need to mend fences when Rora was the one being demanding. If anything Rora owes the OP an apology for her boundary trampling.
I believe it was very clear that I was responding to the post above, which was directed at my post -- not the OP.
You and I will have to agree to disagree about whether the OP or Rora owes an apology. I, like many posters, do see the flip side of dealing with a depressed friend.
Rora also has mental health issues, it is clear that dealing with her is no picnic. Plus, (and I feel I keep on at this, but people really don't seem to get it) she contacted the OP's new boyfriend, a man she didn't know, to talk about the OP. That is boundary hopping, and most of Rora's defenders seem to just ignore that.
Well said. Rora clearly has her own mental health issues going on, and between the phone calls which are all about her, and the contacting the boyfriend and then making that all about her by asking if the OP was mad it her, it seems like Rora is also something of a drama llama.
She not only didn't know the boyfriend, but she never even met him at all, and had to track him down on Facebook. To be completely honest, that would be making me extremely uncomfortable if I were in the OP's shoes, and I would completely cut contact with Rora if I were the OP just based on that alone. It feels almost stalkerish, and I sure wouldn't like it.
Exactly! I especially agree with the bolded. If I were the OP, I would be taking the oppurtunity to cut off contact with Rora ASAP. I think that people have been projecting their own experiences of depressed friends who have 'dropped off the radar' without taking into account the actual circumstances of the OP.