Aunty Em you didn't do anything wrong. i agree with Slartibartfast - you sat, you figured out that it wasn't a good, umm, fit, and you weigh your otions - either stay put till something else comes along or move, possibly causing the other woman to feel bad.
I myself am large, i don't take up more than one seat, but i am on the border there. however, I do my best to mitigate the situation, e.g, i scrunch over, etc. I think that if the other woman had done that, it would have been different, but she comes across as having *attitude* - pushing you, throwing her feet around. I'm not saying it's her fault that she is taking up more space and i am certainly not advocating to fight rudess with more rudeness, but in *that* situation i would have felt that my discomfort takes precedence over what may or may not be her discomfort.
and i have to say - I always wonder when i get on an extremely crowded subway/bus/train and there is *one* seat empty, i wonder just *why* that seat is empty. more likely than not, there is an issue with that seat - it is broken, wet, or the *other* person/people may be causing issues (taking up too much room, attitude, drunk, etc). maybe i'm a pessimist (on public transportation) but if i saw that empty seat and nobody grabbing it, i would have just waited a few more stops till soemthing else came up
Had an awkward commute into work last week and wonder what was the best way to handle it.
I got onto the extremely crowded subway car on my morning commute and noticed a seat next to a woman that I thought was only occupied by her large open purse. I was carrying my laptop, purse and regular winter gear and asked her if I could please sit there. She seemed to ignore me once so I asked again. She moved her purse and I went to sit down but couldn't actually get into the seat properly because she was physically overlapping into the other seat. She made no move to adjust her position and I sat on the edge of the seat as best I could bracing against the seat back beside me. I would have been more comfortable standing and putting all my gear into the seat but didn't want to embarrass her by pointing out that she was taking up two seats.
During the ride, she pulled out her cell phone and bottled drink and rested her arm on my back and then stretched her legs out into the crowded aisle making a hazard for the people trying to stand and hold on. Instead of feeling sorry for her, I began to be annoyed. I said nothing and just waited for a chance to move when it would have been normal to do so.
Would you have continued to sit precariously on the edge or just have stood up? I did move to an empty seat when I could a few stops down the line.