So am I being unreasonable by alternating the day of Holiday for not going anywhere...ie 2013 Christmas we are staying home 2014 we will be staying home Thankgiving day...Is there a polite way to head off any arguments or pa comments?
My family lives 7.5 hours away and my DH's family lives 10 hours away. We used to go home for every Holiday, then we had our son. People would say to us 'Oh I bet it will be hard to decide who's house to go to for Holidays!' so we made a decision.
Christmas, we stay home. Period. We live far enough away that I don't want to be in the position of trying to explain how Santa will know where he is, and we flat out just want to stay home. ALL family is invited to our house if they would like to come.
All other Holidays - we try to get home as much as possible, so we pick the two Holidays that are the 'biggest' in each family. My mom always hosts a large Thanksgiving, and DH's family has several smaller parties. So, we go to my mom's to get the biggest 'family bang for our buck' (large family gathering at one place, not a lot of additional travelling for us to do after already driving 7.5 hours). My husband's family really celebrates a summer festival in their town, so we go to that every year.
Last year, DH's dad got really upset we weren't 'coming home' for Christmas. I have no idea why he picked last year, as we had NEVER gone there for Christmas in the 12 years we had been together. We told him we were staying home, and while we had company (my mom and aunt) he was more than welcome to come celebrate with us, and we'd love to have him. He had much the same response as your mom 'well then I guess we just won't celebrate Christmas at all this year' and we said we would certainly miss him, and look forward to our next visit. He ended up coming for Christmas, and we all had a great time.