Big birthday celebration

[bonyk]

If your group doesn't celebrate birthdays in a big way, it could come across as a "poor diane, we must do something for her" pity type party.  I would wait until there really was something to celebrate.

The problem with waiting for her milestone birthday, is that we were all born in the same year, so all of our milestones birthday happen pretty close to each other.  I think it would be even stranger to have a big to-do for Diane's milestone birthday and not the rest of ours.

I'm still torn; I'd really like to do something special for her, but I really, really don't want to insult her. 

[GSNW]

What kind of celebration did you have in mind - girl's night out, spa trip, etc?  It could be close to Diane's birthday but not on the actual day, and go something like this:

-Invite all girls to the group event
-Secretly inform other girls that you'd like to honor Diane's bday as PART of the event
-At some point give a toast to her bday, give gifts (if you guys do that) or everyone can say something about how Diane is a good friend
-Continue with weekend/evening etc

This way, you get a fun time together and honor Diane's bday in a way that will make her feel special but not that she is the sole focus or reason for a "big" event.

[Allyson]

I think it's a great idea, assuming that Diana is the sort of person who likes parties and would have a great time being made a fuss of. I wouldn't read it at all like 'aww, poor you, you're single'. Maybe a little bit as a substitute for a wedding, but not for a partner, if that makes sense. But, I don't really have a problem with that. It's been commented on before that it can sometimes be harsh to be an unmarried person who goes to wedding after wedding but doesn't have a big 'me day' themself, especially if they would love one.

It sounds like Diana has a big heart, if she's going out of her way to do awesome things for Emily, so hopefully she would take it in spirit of 'we want to make a fuss over you, too, like you've done for us!' and not 'aww, poor single girl will never have a wedding'.

In my group birthday celebrations aren't very 'equal', a lot depends on timing and who wants what--some of my friends have had big gifts done by collection by the group, others have had huge parties, some don't even tell us when their birthday is...I don't know, if one of my friends had a massive birthday party just cause, I wouldn't think it was weird or question it at all. Just figure 'oh, great, we haven't had a party in awhile, great excuse!'

[LifeOnPluto]

What kind of celebration did you have in mind - girl's night out, spa trip, etc?  It could be close to Diane's birthday but not on the actual day, and go something like this:

-Invite all girls to the group event
-Secretly inform other girls that you'd like to honor Diane's bday as PART of the event
-At some point give a toast to her bday, give gifts (if you guys do that) or everyone can say something about how Diane is a good friend
-Continue with weekend/evening etc

This way, you get a fun time together and honor Diane's bday in a way that will make her feel special but not that she is the sole focus or reason for a "big" event.

I agree. I think the "Diane's birthday is a good excuse for a Girls Night Out" approach is actually a good one. And Diane's birthday doesn't have to be the sole focus, so it takes the pressure off her.