A woman in our office is getting married in a couple of weeks. Just a few minutes ago, an envelope landed on my desk with a note on the outside saying "Suzy" is getting married and if you want to contribute to a gift, slip money into the envelope. Either way, (money or not), feel free to sign the card.
First, I'm not invited to the wedding. I didn't expect to be, don't get me wrong. I know her to chat casually to in the office but we're not friends. Some people in the office with whom she is friends are invited and that's perfectly appropriate.
The thing is, if I were invited to the wedding, I'd already be giving a gift. So clearly the implication is that those of us who aren't invited should still want to give her a gift. And really, it's not unheard of to give a gift in this situation, it's just being asked to do so is pretty forward, I think.
But here's the real kicker. The distribution list on the envelope includes only women.
She's definitely not the first person, male or female in this office to get married while working here but this is definitely the first time I've seen this sort of thing done. (In fact, another woman in the office just got married in December!)
I guess it is sort of following along the lines of a shower -- like the multiple baby showers we've had. But it's just different for a wedding to which the majority aren't invited. At least the baby showers are hosted events with food & drink.
Is it just me or is this really obnoxious?
Side note: I doubt the bride had anything to do with this - she probably doesn't even know it is being done. If I were her though, I'd be totally embarrassed that people who are not invited to my wedding were asked to contribute to a gift.
What do you think about this? Am I overreacting? Is it no big deal, especially since it's all anonymous and no one knows who put money in and who didn't? Or is it incredibly gauche, especially considering that the guys weren't asked to participate?