Wow, when I first started reading, I thought I might actually disagree with Lowspark, which hardly ever happens.
But when I got to the "women only" part -- !!!
I agree with the other posters who said that sending around a card and an envelope, where it is clear no one is expected to sign, let alone contribute (I see the check-off list as just a circulation matter), is fine.
I do think that it's not so nice to do it for one but not all. I realize that perhaps one of this bride's friends decided to do this for her, and it's not her fault no one did it for the last wedding. But maybe this needs to be considered as an office policy. If it's a huge place, where there'd be a card and collection every week, the employees might choose as a group to not do it for anyone. After all, an employee's own work friends would still be free to give them a gift or party or whatever privately.
They completely lost me on the "women only." I am not swayed by the "they were probably trying to simulate a shower" thought. No matter what they were thinking, it's NOT a shower -- it's a card and a collection for a wedding gift. Unless the gift is to be something like lingerie or sex toys or something (and I sincerely hope that it is NOT -- totally inappropriate for an all-office gift), why on earth women only? I would be kind of steamed by the women-only part.