My sleep dictator is less about timing and more about location.
I have been struggling with insomnia for months. This morning I was up at 4 a.m. not because I wanted to be but because my body made the decision. What this means (and what it means most nights) is that I will be nodding off on the couch by about 8 p.m. DH cannot stand it when I am asleep on the couch. He believes that I must get up and go to bed, and he will decide when it is time for me to move.
If I haven't moved at the appointed time, he awakens me by poking or tapping me. I find this to be annoying. He knows I find it annoying. When I ask him not to do that, he tells me that he doesn't know another way to wake me up. I ask him why he must wake me up. Cue silence. Then, he'll explain that I should be in bed and not on the couch. I have pointed out to him numerous times that I am an adult, and if I fall asleep on the couch, what happens after that is really my responsibility and not his. I also have explained that he's waking me -- a chronic insomniac -- from a sound sleep in order to get me to sleep somewhere else that he would prefer. None of this matters. He continues to do it anyway, complete with the poking and tapping.
I should mention that my being asleep on the couch in no way interferes with anything DH might want to do for the rest of the evening. There is another TV in the house. There are plenty of other places to sit in the house. He just doesn't like it when I'm asleep on the couch.
I should also mention that DH routinely chooses to sleep on the couch himself because he snores and (with a nod to SuzieQ) jerks in his sleep. I already have insomnia, so having an additional source of sleep deprivation next to me in bed isn't workable. I have asked DH why it is okay for him to sleep on the couch but not me. He doesn't have an answer for that. According to him, I should be in bed. If someone is going to sleep on the couch, it should him. I can't begin to understand this logic, probably because there isn't any logic to it.
You might be asking yourself: "Gosh, Coley, when you're feeling sleepy, why don't you just go to bed? Why fall asleep on the couch?" This is a logical question. The answer is about as logical as DH waking up me up to go to sleep every night. You see, DH must be WITH me in the evening. Wherever I am, so must he be. If I'm on the couch, he's on the couch. If I'm in bed, he's in bed. And if he's in bed, see the previous paragraph about the snoring and jerking. If he wakes me up, I will wind up on the couch anyway, and DH will be upset because he kept me awake. It doesn't make any sense. He willfully wakes me up when I'm on the couch, and he doesn't like it when he wakes me up in bed.
So there you go. The sleep dictator.