Author Topic: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators  (Read 14574 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #75 on: February 28, 2013, 01:17:28 AM »
I'm absolutely a night owl - my ideal schedule is to go to be around 2 AM and sleep until 10:30 or so.  For a while (before Bittybartfast) I was going to bed at 8 PM, waking up at midnight and writing until 4 AM, then sleeping another four hours and getting up at 8 AM to get Babybartfast to school.

Unfortunately, Bittybartfast STILL isn't sleeping through the night (at 8.5 months) and she's underweight, so I'm supposed to feed her when she fusses even if it's the middle of the night.  I haven't had more than a handful of good nights for over a year  :-\  Tonight I have a massive headache because Bittybartfast has been screamy (teething), so I'm upstairs on the futon and DH is downstairs in our bed.  Bittybartfast is downstairs, too, and I plan to close my door and ignore her until morning or this child won't survive until her first birthday  >:(  DH gets all mad at me for expecting him to actually get up with the baby once in a blue moon (seriously, it's maybe one night every two months?) but I NEED MY SLEEP!

Ticia

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #76 on: February 28, 2013, 01:34:51 AM »
I lived with my grandmother for a short time when I was around 19 years old. I worked swing shift for the local IRS branch, so I would get in from work around 2 am. At 7 am, grandma would stick her head in my bedroom door and say "Are you going to sleep all day?" because she was up at 5 every morning and thought sleeping in till 7 was indulgent...

Like I said, I lived with my grandma for a *short* time.
Utah

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #77 on: February 28, 2013, 04:11:13 AM »
I'm absolutely a night owl - my ideal schedule is to go to be around 2 AM and sleep until 10:30 or so.  For a while (before Bittybartfast) I was going to bed at 8 PM, waking up at midnight and writing until 4 AM, then sleeping another four hours and getting up at 8 AM to get Babybartfast to school.

Unfortunately, Bittybartfast STILL isn't sleeping through the night (at 8.5 months) and she's underweight, so I'm supposed to feed her when she fusses even if it's the middle of the night.  I haven't had more than a handful of good nights for over a year  :-\  Tonight I have a massive headache because Bittybartfast has been screamy (teething), so I'm upstairs on the futon and DH is downstairs in our bed.  Bittybartfast is downstairs, too, and I plan to close my door and ignore her until morning or this child won't survive until her first birthday  >:(  DH gets all mad at me for expecting him to actually get up with the baby once in a blue moon (seriously, it's maybe one night every two months?) but I NEED MY SLEEP!

My first one is nearly four and she still doesn't sleep through all the time. She only semi-regularly started sleeping through at 2 years 2 months, hardly ever before that. I did all the right sleep things. I made DH start getting up to her one night on a weekend and giving me a sleep in that morning, or there would have been a breakdown. DS is nearly two and he sleeps through maybe 4 nights a week?

I haven't had 3 nights of sleep in a row for four years. I may be insane at this point, I'm not sure. That's for others to judge.  ;)

laud_shy_girl

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #78 on: February 28, 2013, 05:16:07 AM »
It's hard when your baby wont sleep. CakeEater, I wont even pretend to understand how it feels for you, as my 10 Month old has been going through consistently since xmass and was almost there from 7 months, but up until then... :-\
We would have at least one night a week that was hourly waking and she would wake 3 times on a good night.  I had the "just do XYZ" and your child will magically sleep though.
My bff and My SMIL have babies that slept through from 5 weeks with no effort on there part. As their babies just zonked at 7 and were out cold for 12 hours. They didn't mean to be dictators, but you could tell they were thinking (ok SMIL and FIL  not so much BFF) I must be doing it wrong. arrghh

I really do think babies sleeping habits are 50% Environment/parenting 25%genetic predisposition 24%luck and 1% psychic bloodymindedness (because it doesn't matter how well they sleep/nap as soon as you make plans for that "free" time they know and put a stop to it!)
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

Piratelvr1121

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #79 on: February 28, 2013, 06:39:02 AM »
My youngest, I swear seems to be psychology attuned to when I'm in the house.  On Saturdays I have my "Mommy's Day Out" and DH stays home with all 3 boys.  Sometimes I'll come home and the piratebabe is still napping.  Now this child will have slept through his loudmouth brothers and the tv blaring a movie.  But it's not until I walk in the door and say "Hello" to DH that he wakes up and starts wailing. 

Or at night, with DH and Pirateboy2 getting up and going to the bathroom, the babe won't wake up. I go to the bathroom and suddenly it's "Mamamamama?"

Not every night thankfully and usually he just needs a nappy change and to get replugged with a binky but it really makes me wonder, with his door closed, he just knows it was Mama in the bathroom.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

girlysprite

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #80 on: February 28, 2013, 09:44:19 AM »
My youngest, I swear seems to be psychology attuned to when I'm in the house.  On Saturdays I have my "Mommy's Day Out" and DH stays home with all 3 boys.  Sometimes I'll come home and the piratebabe is still napping.  Now this child will have slept through his loudmouth brothers and the tv blaring a movie.  But it's not until I walk in the door and say "Hello" to DH that he wakes up and starts wailing. 

Or at night, with DH and Pirateboy2 getting up and going to the bathroom, the babe won't wake up. I go to the bathroom and suddenly it's "Mamamamama?"

Not every night thankfully and usually he just needs a nappy change and to get replugged with a binky but it really makes me wonder, with his door closed, he just knows it was Mama in the bathroom.
Children can hear the subtle differences of the sounds that each person makes, and can maybe recognise the sound of your car. They are wired for it, and your distinct sounds wake them up.
For another example: my cats recognise the sound of my husbands car. When he drives imto our street, they run to the door.

Back to dictators: some people didn't understand why I would go to ned at 8pm each night when the baby was a month old. Those were the people who didn't have kids.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #81 on: February 28, 2013, 10:02:41 AM »
I had people insist "Sleep when the baby sleeps!" Okay, easy enough to do with my first, and with my youngest, since when he'd nap the older two would be in school.  But when my middle child was a newborn and his and his 18month old brother's naps didn't happen at the same time? There was no "sleeping when the baby slept".  I did try to get them on the same nap schedule and it did work when the middle child was very new and would take quite a few naps. 

Course sometimes these people would sometimes say "Do your chores when the baby sleeps." Um okay so I'm supposed to do chores in my sleep?
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Coley

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #82 on: February 28, 2013, 10:49:32 AM »
My sleep dictator is less about timing and more about location.

I have been struggling with insomnia for months. This morning I was up at 4 a.m. not because I wanted to be but because my body made the decision. What this means (and what it means most nights) is that I will be nodding off on the couch by about 8 p.m. DH cannot stand it when I am asleep on the couch. He believes that I must get up and go to bed, and he will decide when it is time for me to move.

If I haven't moved at the appointed time, he awakens me by poking or tapping me. I find this to be annoying. He knows I find it annoying. When I ask him not to do that, he tells me that he doesn't know another way to wake me up. I ask him why he must wake me up. Cue silence. Then, he'll explain that I should be in bed and not on the couch. I have pointed out to him numerous times that I am an adult, and if I fall asleep on the couch, what happens after that is really my responsibility and not his. I also have explained that he's waking me -- a chronic insomniac -- from a sound sleep in order to get me to sleep somewhere else that he would prefer. None of this matters. He continues to do it anyway, complete with the poking and tapping.

I should mention that my being asleep on the couch in no way interferes with anything DH might want to do for the rest of the evening. There is another TV in the house. There are plenty of other places to sit in the house. He just doesn't like it when I'm asleep on the couch.

I should also mention that DH routinely chooses to sleep on the couch himself because he snores and (with a nod to SuzieQ) jerks in his sleep. I already have insomnia, so having an additional source of sleep deprivation next to me in bed isn't workable. I have asked DH why it is okay for him to sleep on the couch but not me. He doesn't have an answer for that. According to him, I should be in bed. If someone is going to sleep on the couch, it should him. I can't begin to understand this logic, probably because there isn't any logic to it.

You might be asking yourself: "Gosh, Coley, when you're feeling sleepy, why don't you just go to bed? Why fall asleep on the couch?" This is a logical question. The answer is about as logical as DH waking up me up to go to sleep every night. You see, DH must be WITH me in the evening. Wherever I am, so must he be. If I'm on the couch, he's on the couch. If I'm in bed, he's in bed. And if he's in bed, see the previous paragraph about the snoring and jerking. If he wakes me up, I will wind up on the couch anyway, and DH will be upset because he kept me awake. It doesn't make any sense. He willfully wakes me up when I'm on the couch, and he doesn't like it when he wakes me up in bed.

So there you go. The sleep dictator.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #83 on: February 28, 2013, 10:56:13 AM »
Mr Coley is lucky to be alive.
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

siamesecat2965

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #84 on: February 28, 2013, 11:11:05 AM »
Mr Coley is lucky to be alive.

Where is the like button when you need it!  Yes. I agree.

LeveeWoman

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #85 on: February 28, 2013, 11:19:12 AM »
My sleep dictator is less about timing and more about location.

I have been struggling with insomnia for months. This morning I was up at 4 a.m. not because I wanted to be but because my body made the decision. What this means (and what it means most nights) is that I will be nodding off on the couch by about 8 p.m. DH cannot stand it when I am asleep on the couch. He believes that I must get up and go to bed, and he will decide when it is time for me to move.

If I haven't moved at the appointed time, he awakens me by poking or tapping me. I find this to be annoying. He knows I find it annoying. When I ask him not to do that, he tells me that he doesn't know another way to wake me up. I ask him why he must wake me up. Cue silence. Then, he'll explain that I should be in bed and not on the couch. I have pointed out to him numerous times that I am an adult, and if I fall asleep on the couch, what happens after that is really my responsibility and not his. I also have explained that he's waking me -- a chronic insomniac -- from a sound sleep in order to get me to sleep somewhere else that he would prefer. None of this matters. He continues to do it anyway, complete with the poking and tapping.

I should mention that my being asleep on the couch in no way interferes with anything DH might want to do for the rest of the evening. There is another TV in the house. There are plenty of other places to sit in the house. He just doesn't like it when I'm asleep on the couch.

I should also mention that DH routinely chooses to sleep on the couch himself because he snores and (with a nod to SuzieQ) jerks in his sleep. I already have insomnia, so having an additional source of sleep deprivation next to me in bed isn't workable. I have asked DH why it is okay for him to sleep on the couch but not me. He doesn't have an answer for that. According to him, I should be in bed. If someone is going to sleep on the couch, it should him. I can't begin to understand this logic, probably because there isn't any logic to it.

You might be asking yourself: "Gosh, Coley, when you're feeling sleepy, why don't you just go to bed? Why fall asleep on the couch?" This is a logical question. The answer is about as logical as DH waking up me up to go to sleep every night. You see, DH must be WITH me in the evening. Wherever I am, so must he be. If I'm on the couch, he's on the couch. If I'm in bed, he's in bed. And if he's in bed, see the previous paragraph about the snoring and jerking. If he wakes me up, I will wind up on the couch anyway, and DH will be upset because he kept me awake. It doesn't make any sense. He willfully wakes me up when I'm on the couch, and he doesn't like it when he wakes me up in bed.

So there you go. The sleep dictator.

Is he a control-freak in other areas?

Morrigan

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #86 on: February 28, 2013, 11:22:44 AM »
My normal schedule is going to bed around 1-130 and getting up at around 10-1030.  With DD (almost 2), we (DH&I) go to bed around midnight.  I get up around 9 or so (with DD), but DH gets up around 7 (work!)

We lay DD down at 930, but she's usually awake for about an hour or so.  If she's really tired, she's out within 15 minutes, but if she had a good nap, we'll usually hear her talking for an hour.

The hardest part (for everyone!) was when I was a security guard.  I worked 3 'regular' shifts of 4-midnight, then 2 night shifts of midnight-8 every week.  What was really frustrating was how the schedule was written.  Unlike the other 2 shifts (one of all 4-midnights, one of all midnight-8s), I had to work split shifts.  I didn't even get 2 days off in a row, because of how the schedule was written. The supervisor wrote the night shifts on the previous day.  Like the schedule would say it's a tuesday night shift, but it was actually early morning wednesday, so I didn't work Tuesday at all.  So 1 of my 'days off' was actually spent trying to sleep so I could be half-way away for my night shift.  The supervisor didn't understand how much that messed with my head and sleep.  Didn't understand or didn't care...

 That was so hard on my body that I just couldn't take it more than a year.  I ended up quitting and going back to school.

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #87 on: February 28, 2013, 11:30:39 AM »
M is an *extremely* minor sleep dictator.  Only in that often, M needs to watch TV for the brain to go into "park mode", and sometimes the TV keeps me up.  Not the volume, but if it's something that interests me I subconsciously follow it!  However, I learned that I can sleep on the couch, wake up in a couple of hours (I *never* sleep uninterrupted through the night), and go to bed, with M soundly asleep.  :)
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Coley

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #88 on: February 28, 2013, 11:32:51 AM »
My sleep dictator is less about timing and more about location.

I have been struggling with insomnia for months. This morning I was up at 4 a.m. not because I wanted to be but because my body made the decision. What this means (and what it means most nights) is that I will be nodding off on the couch by about 8 p.m. DH cannot stand it when I am asleep on the couch. He believes that I must get up and go to bed, and he will decide when it is time for me to move.

If I haven't moved at the appointed time, he awakens me by poking or tapping me. I find this to be annoying. He knows I find it annoying. When I ask him not to do that, he tells me that he doesn't know another way to wake me up. I ask him why he must wake me up. Cue silence. Then, he'll explain that I should be in bed and not on the couch. I have pointed out to him numerous times that I am an adult, and if I fall asleep on the couch, what happens after that is really my responsibility and not his. I also have explained that he's waking me -- a chronic insomniac -- from a sound sleep in order to get me to sleep somewhere else that he would prefer. None of this matters. He continues to do it anyway, complete with the poking and tapping.

I should mention that my being asleep on the couch in no way interferes with anything DH might want to do for the rest of the evening. There is another TV in the house. There are plenty of other places to sit in the house. He just doesn't like it when I'm asleep on the couch.

I should also mention that DH routinely chooses to sleep on the couch himself because he snores and (with a nod to SuzieQ) jerks in his sleep. I already have insomnia, so having an additional source of sleep deprivation next to me in bed isn't workable. I have asked DH why it is okay for him to sleep on the couch but not me. He doesn't have an answer for that. According to him, I should be in bed. If someone is going to sleep on the couch, it should him. I can't begin to understand this logic, probably because there isn't any logic to it.

You might be asking yourself: "Gosh, Coley, when you're feeling sleepy, why don't you just go to bed? Why fall asleep on the couch?" This is a logical question. The answer is about as logical as DH waking up me up to go to sleep every night. You see, DH must be WITH me in the evening. Wherever I am, so must he be. If I'm on the couch, he's on the couch. If I'm in bed, he's in bed. And if he's in bed, see the previous paragraph about the snoring and jerking. If he wakes me up, I will wind up on the couch anyway, and DH will be upset because he kept me awake. It doesn't make any sense. He willfully wakes me up when I'm on the couch, and he doesn't like it when he wakes me up in bed.

So there you go. The sleep dictator.

Is he a control-freak in other areas?

No. He has a few quirks, but I wouldn't describe him as a control freak. I am very much my own person.  :)

Coley

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Re: s/o Food Dictators - Sleep Dictators
« Reply #89 on: February 28, 2013, 11:52:11 AM »
Mr Coley is lucky to be alive.

He genuinely believes he is being helpful. His intentions are good but misplaced. Maybe my capacity to accept his good intentions is keeping him alive.  ;D