Author Topic: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds  (Read 3583 times)

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Sophie Jenkins

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #15 on: February 27, 2013, 11:38:03 AM »
My husband and I had to go to the bank in several trips to get all our wedding checks deposited. We got checks to Sophie Hatter, Howl Jenkins, Mr and Mrs Jenkins, Howl and Sophie Jenkins, Howl Jenkins and Sophie Hatter- pretty much any permutation of our names was on the checks.

And no matter the paperwork we had in hand, they wouldn't let us deposit anything with the Sophie Jenkins name on it until I had ID that said I was Sophie Jenkins, not Sophie Hatter.

So between my husband's work hours and my name change, it took us nearly a month to deposit all the checks.

I'd personally write a check to HisFirst HisLast OR HerFirst HerLast, not assuming a name change at all. That way either one of them can take care of the checks as soon as possible, and not cause anyone grief while trying to balance a checkbook.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #16 on: February 27, 2013, 12:13:58 PM »
We ran into trouble with wedding checks because DH goes by his middle name, which not everyone knows  :)  Checks made out to Middlename Lastname (which is what he usually goes by) were held up because the bank didn't believe him, even though he had his ID.  Their system doesn't have a place to put in the middle name when you first sign up for an account, you see, just the initial, so they didn't have his middle name in the system  ::)

Aeris

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #17 on: February 27, 2013, 01:09:56 PM »
When I got married to my now Ex a few years back, we had checks in just about every configuration you can think of. We did already have a joint checking account though, so I'm sure that helped. I wasn't changing my name, and I have a nickname that is not on legal documents/accounts.

We didn't actually have trouble, surprisingly, with ones that said:
Hisfirst and Myfirst Hislast
Hisfirst Hislast and MyNickname (no last name)
Myfirst Mylast and HisFirstMisspelled
and even
Hisfirst Hislast and NameThatStartsWithTheSameLetterAsMyFirst MyLast

Now, I don't know if that was because we had a joint checking, or because we came in with what was quite obviously a stack of wedding checks, or because the teller made a judgment call, or all three.

But since others may not have such a forgiving teller, I would:
1) Never use titles. They muck up the check for no reason.
2) Use both names and an "OR" so that either may cash it
3) Use pre-marriage names, even if you know she's changing hers.

Not only is name change not often instantaneous when you *are* changing it legally, but there are many women who change it socially and not legally. Even if every indication is that she's changing her name (being announced at the wedding as Mr & Mrs Hislast, etc), that still only tells you she's changing it *socially*. You don't actually know a thing about her legal name status unless she tells you outright. Addressing Christmas cards and checks are completely different exercises.

SylviaBug

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #18 on: February 27, 2013, 01:38:03 PM »
Thanks for the input, everybody!



Also I don't know that its proper to put social titles on a legal/financial document... I mean I don't think the bank would reject "Mr", "Mrs", or "Dr" but they certainly don't need them. (Just curious - why did she consider "Dr. and Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname"? That would always be wrong if the wife is the Dr...)



Yeah, in this case I think she originally wanted to use titles for the sake of formality. But I agree that they're probably unnecessary.
I'm not sure why she thought 'Dr. and Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname' was appropriate. I think maybe she was so excited about her daughter getting married that she really wanted to use 'Mrs.'? I'm not sure, I just remember thinking it was a strange idea, and luckily she was talked out of it!

fluffy

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #19 on: February 27, 2013, 01:44:53 PM »
I thing I would be a little  :o if my mother put a formal title on something addressed to me!

bopper

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2013, 01:50:31 PM »
I just address it to whichever of the bride or groom I am most close to...other wise both of them have to endorse it and what not.

Bookgirl

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2013, 02:25:58 PM »
When DH and I got married, we went to the bank the day after the wedding so we could have our money for our honeymoon. We most appreciated the checks that said DH firstname+lastname OR my firstname+lastname. We had a joint account but obviously there was no way for me to have the paperwork necessary to change my name legally one day after the fact. Some of the checks said Mr & Mrs DH lastname, which we both signed and hoped for the best with the bank (they did deposit everything, I'm sure they figured out what was going on when we had fifty-some checks to deposit!).

We ran into the same problem.  The bank wouldn't accept the checks made out to Mr & Mrs DH Lastname.  We ended up signing the back and depositing them through the ATM.  It worked since the money showed up in our account but it was a hassle. 
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bonyk

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2013, 05:22:32 PM »
Another voice for just make it out to the groom.  So much simpler for the happy couple.  Put it in a card addressed to both.

fountainof

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2013, 05:56:56 PM »
I just use "or" and the two names and the groom lastname unless I know for sure the name didn't change.  I depsoit all cheques in a bank machine and nothing is verified.  I can deposit with my middle name maiden name or even checks for DH on my own bank a/c and no one notices.  I think only if a cheque is challenged is there an issue.

lmyrs

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2013, 06:11:53 PM »
I always write "Bride MaidenName and/or Groom LastName". This can work universally because the name change won't happen overnight if it is happening and by putting the "or" in there, the couple doesn't have to go to the bank together to deposit - either one can do it.

Margo

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2013, 08:52:59 AM »
My husband and I had to go to the bank in several trips to get all our wedding checks deposited. We got checks to Sophie Hatter, Howl Jenkins, Mr and Mrs Jenkins, Howl and Sophie Jenkins, Howl Jenkins and Sophie Hatter- pretty much any permutation of our names was on the checks.

And no matter the paperwork we had in hand, they wouldn't let us deposit anything with the Sophie Jenkins name on it until I had ID that said I was Sophie Jenkins, not Sophie Hatter.

So between my husband's work hours and my name change, it took us nearly a month to deposit all the checks.

I'd personally write a check to HisFirst HisLast OR HerFirst HerLast, not assuming a name change at all. That way either one of them can take care of the checks as soon as possible, and not cause anyone grief while trying to balance a checkbook.

Just wanted to say I love your uername :-) I'm a big DWJ fan.

AppleBlossom

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2013, 09:35:06 AM »
Another voice for just make it out to the groom.  So much simpler for the happy couple.  Put it in a card addressed to both.

Sometimes the groom changes his name, or they both do. I'll add to the votes for "Mary Jones or John Smith".

Virg

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #27 on: February 28, 2013, 10:03:34 AM »
If you're looking for "proper" but not overly old-fashioned, the situation described would use Dr. Her name or Mr. His name (leading with the one you know best or the groom if you're equally familiar), since you're sure that neither is changing their surnames.  If she'd chosen to take his surname then Mr. Him or Dr. Her Surname would also be proper.  I'd skip putting just the groom's name on the check, because then if she's the one who goes to the bank it might introduce a headache that naming both of them avoids.

Virg

littlebird

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #28 on: February 28, 2013, 12:07:06 PM »
When my friend got married a year ago, I wrote the check out to her husband because: 1. I didn't know whether/how soon she would be changing her name (and if banks let you cash maiden name checks) and 2. she goes by a nickname and I honestly don't know how to spell her first name, nor was I sure which the bank would accept. I explained this and we laughed.

Uncle L does not have a doctorate. She considered doing 'Dr. and Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname', but my mother talked her out of it.

As someone working on a Doctorate, I would be peeved if someone addressed something to me as Mrs but my (hypothetical) non-Dr partner as Dr. That's just... weird. (I like your suggestion better!)

daen

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Re: Addressing Checks to Newlyweds
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2013, 02:45:04 PM »
At our wedding, we got all the variants, like Sophie. Fortunately, I bank at a credit union with a small-town attitude (read: very accommodating). I signed all the cheques (possibly even with my new name) except for the ones made out just to my husband, and shoved them through the ATM. I called the cred two days later, when I realized I hadn't informed them officially of the name change, and got the response "Oh, we figured that's what the case was, so we put them through. Fill out an official name change the next time you come in." And that was that.

Having heard a few stories of banks that are less flexible, I make out wedding cheques to "HerFirstName LastName OR HisFirstName LastName", but I have to admit it wouldn't have occurred to me until a few years before my own wedding.