I thought this was an odd response by Amy. The LW of the second letter runs an in-home preschool and says one of the moms doesn't ever use LW's name when addressing her in person, by phone, or by email. How should LW handle this?
Amy replies that LW should just ask (in person) why the mom doesn't use her name, listen to the response, and then say, "I know you understand how important it is for the children to always address people by name, so this would be a good thing to model.”
Asking first? Okay, I guess, if it bothers LW enough then maybe she should bring it up. If it were me, my answer would be like "Oh, I didn't realize. Huh. I'll try to remember that you prefer people to address you by name." I wouldn't see it as a big deal at all (using a name, not using a name) but I understand that's only my personal take on it. I don't happen to use people's names in conversations directly with them, only to get their attention if, say, their back was turned. I find it jarring when people *do* use my name when talking to me, especially if it happens more than once in the same conversation.
But the wording of the last bit just struck me as overstepping. By a lot. I would find it very rude for someone to tell *me* what *I* think should be important for kids, and how I (as an adult) should behave. Frankly I don't think it's an appropriate response to this situation at all.
The only salvageable way of phrasing it (in my mind) is if the teacher made it about *her* preferences, not what's best for the children: "I want to encourage the kids to use my name and it would really help me out if you addressed me as ___ in the classroom." As for dictating how LW is addressed in emails or voicemails, I suppose she could ask but again, make it about clarity for LW, not "proper behavior": "I'd prefer if you mentioned my name in emails/voicemails so I am sure the message is meant for me."