grandparents found out and pretty much said I was crazy and we should focus on getting a house and wait a couple more years to go to Disney...Hubby told grandpa the baby will be 1 and he had an issue with that. He came over and pretty much tried to convince me to wait. I got all the reasons we shouldn't do it and why It was crazy/silly...
Several pp's point out that your inlaws have no right to tell you what to do, or control you. However, I assume these are people you value and whom you would like to continue having a good relationship
with. The way you worded your initial post, it sounded less like giving orders, and more like giving advice. Depending on your relationship
, it might or might not be appropriate for your in-laws to try to give you advice. You are certainly under no obligation to take it.
I have known situations where someone who had always been a trusted advisor, or had repeatedly listened to someone's woes and difficulties, tried to offer reasonable advice and was villified as being "controlling" because they did not say what the advice-asker wanted to hear. That is more a relational issue than an etiquette one.
However, to call you "crazy" or "silly" is both rude, and very poor tactics if his intention was to win you over to his point of view. Ultimately you need not respond or explain in any way. You need not recite the same answer over and over - if you are going to do that, you might as well just ask him to leave, or walk away yourself (depending on where you are). You have already declared the conversation over and there's no need to be annoying just to try to prove a point.
Your inlaws may opinionated, but your father in law's opinion was neither off-the-wall nor destructive - it sounds like he is trying to look out for your interests, even if he is pushy. If this is an isolated incident, I don't think it warrants blowing up the relationship
or freezing them out. If you want to reassure him that you are planning this carefully and are managing your finances, that might be a good step in your relationship
. However, you can also just declare the subject closed, "agree to disagree" and not talk about it anymore.