Author Topic: Bringing a 1 year old where?!  (Read 15318 times)

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artk2002

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #120 on: March 02, 2013, 07:47:44 PM »
But the OP has come here and posted about her financial woes, and she did start a thread about her proposed 2 week$10k vacation, and she started this thread. She made it our business in so far as she started all these conversations with us, she provided all the info voluntarily and she asked for advice on each aspect. To tell posters it's not our business to take all the info she wanted us to comment on as a big picture is ridiculous. Sure you can comment on each detail separately, but it's not unreasonable for posters to look at the bigger picture provided by the OP herself.

Could you please PM me the link to the post where OP posted about financial woes? I just looked at the last year of her postings and couldn't find anything that qualified.
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Redwing

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #121 on: March 02, 2013, 08:24:35 PM »
I'm of the opinion that if you put your life out there on a forum such as this, people will comment on the entirety of what you have posted before.  I don't have an opinon for or against the OP taking a trip that costs what this one does, it's her money.  But when you put it up for public consumption, people will comment what they think taking all the previous posts into consideration.

miranova

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #122 on: March 02, 2013, 08:41:01 PM »
It is perfectly ok for someone you are close with to politely express concerns about choices you make.  The OP's FIL was not at all polite.

Also, I'm saving up to be able to afford to sell our house (at a loss, boo!) and simultaneously savings for the 3 family vacations I have planned for the year. 

It really doesn't have to be one or the other - especially if you're good with money.
  It really does have to be one or the other if your income is not sufficient to support both. Many people can not support both. No matter how good you are with money, insufficient funds cannot generate more funds like Tribbles.

 She didn't come here asking for financial advice.

And here is where I park my pod. 

I love talking finances, but this is not the board for it and the OP didn't ask for our financial opinions.  All of this unsolicited financial advice flying around in this thread is surprising.  And I find it interesting that people can have such strong financial opinions without any understanding of the facts.  As it turns out, OP has clarified that she already owns a home.  I see no urgency in buying a larger home.  Perhaps she and her dh are perfectly content in the home they have until they are done saving up for the new one.  Their choice.


I don't see that posters were "giving financial advice".  A few of us asserted that we could kind of understand where FIL was coming from, even though he expressed his concern quite rudely - that's all.  Sometimes, it can help give an OP a different perspective.

It's my understanding that, on this board, people are allowed to express opinions that don't necessarily give a direct answer to an OP's question - one exception of course is the I Need A Hug folder.

Huh.  I saw lots of posters telling the OP that she should consider her FIL's opinion because he's "right" or "may have a valid point".  That definitely qualifies in my mind as giving unsolicited advice.  Which is pretty ironic on a thread where someone is trying to figure out a way to stop someone from giving her unsolicited advice. 

I suppose people can express whatever opinions that the mods feel are appropriate.  I'm not a mod so certainly no one has to do what I say but I'm just expressing my opinion as well. 

citadelle

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #123 on: March 02, 2013, 08:48:42 PM »
.
I suppose people can express whatever opinions that the mods feel are appropriate.  I'm not a mod so certainly no one has to do what I say but I'm just expressing my opinion as well.

I see a lot of attempts to mod in this thread. OP's do not always get support. They get the opinions and points of view of others.  No one is obligated to take the OP's "side"  of an issue.

My parents and inlaws would definitely have something to say to me about such a trip. I may not want to hear it, but I don't always get to only hear support for my views, here or from my parents.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2013, 08:52:00 PM by citadelle »

kareng57

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #124 on: March 02, 2013, 08:54:52 PM »
It is perfectly ok for someone you are close with to politely express concerns about choices you make.  The OP's FIL was not at all polite.

Also, I'm saving up to be able to afford to sell our house (at a loss, boo!) and simultaneously savings for the 3 family vacations I have planned for the year. 

It really doesn't have to be one or the other - especially if you're good with money.
  It really does have to be one or the other if your income is not sufficient to support both. Many people can not support both. No matter how good you are with money, insufficient funds cannot generate more funds like Tribbles.

 She didn't come here asking for financial advice.

And here is where I park my pod. 

I love talking finances, but this is not the board for it and the OP didn't ask for our financial opinions.  All of this unsolicited financial advice flying around in this thread is surprising.  And I find it interesting that people can have such strong financial opinions without any understanding of the facts.  As it turns out, OP has clarified that she already owns a home.  I see no urgency in buying a larger home.  Perhaps she and her dh are perfectly content in the home they have until they are done saving up for the new one.  Their choice.


I don't see that posters were "giving financial advice".  A few of us asserted that we could kind of understand where FIL was coming from, even though he expressed his concern quite rudely - that's all.  Sometimes, it can help give an OP a different perspective.

It's my understanding that, on this board, people are allowed to express opinions that don't necessarily give a direct answer to an OP's question - one exception of course is the I Need A Hug folder.

Huh.  I saw lots of posters telling the OP that she should consider her FIL's opinion because he's "right" or "may have a valid point".  That definitely qualifies in my mind as giving unsolicited advice.  Which is pretty ironic on a thread where someone is trying to figure out a way to stop someone from giving her unsolicited advice. 

I suppose people can express whatever opinions that the mods feel are appropriate.  I'm not a mod so certainly no one has to do what I say but I'm just expressing my opinion as well.


You're free to have whatever opinion you want as to what the OP wants to do.  That does not give you the right to attempt to shut-down what some PPs have said.

mbbored

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #125 on: March 02, 2013, 08:56:04 PM »
I feel that only those who are impacted by the OP's financial choices are allowed to offer an opinion about them. If the FIL is helping out OP's family, then his opinions should be considered. Otherwise, he shouldn't offer any opinion besides "That's nice. Would you like to try some bean dip?"

cass2591

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Re: Bringing a 1 year old where?!
« Reply #126 on: March 02, 2013, 09:00:27 PM »
A few people here seem to be under the misconception that if one posts a topic they deserve unconditional support and agreement. Sometimes you get 100% validation but most of the time you don't.  The point is to be respectful.

Thread locked because it's apparent never the twain shall meet.
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