young adults learning the hard way - update post #29

[siamesecat2965]

One of the women I work with considers herself the Queen Bee of our office and her family.

She has two children in college, and rides them constantly. Both of them work, one is about to graduate and already has a job. The younger one just started college in the past fall semester, and has done ok, but nothing to proclaim about. QB wants the younger one to take two summer A classes, to get the summer classes out of the way. Since she has mentioned this to me (we are co-workers, not friends) and every other person who works in the office, I suggested she take one summer A and one summer B, because summer classes are very intense. You can't miss a day of school work and keep grades up. QB didn't like that suggestion, but it is not her that will be suffering through a very heavy course load and working!

I feel so sorry for both of QB's kids!

And once Queen Bee's kids finish college and are no longer financially dependent on her, she's probably going to whine about why they won't talk to her anymore.

She sounds like my one boss. her child is a freshman in college, and each step of the way in HS, college app process etc. she has been on her to get going, and do whatever needed to be done WELL in advance of when they were actually due. the poor kid doesn't get a second to breathe

[Cutenoob]

If she was really a Go-Getter, she'd have asked "While I'm at the copy machine, would you like me to scan it also?"

Agreed.  If it had been me, I would have made the copy, scanned it as well, and when asked to make a copy in the future, printed it off.

upthread from here..

Since I'm kind of naive, I would have scanned it for elec copy (assuming there's a folder to go send it to) and done a copy for her. But would also have mentioned there's an electronic copy. And might have emailed it, thinking, ok, that copy? That one I'd learn from

[Cutenoob]

Another story:
I was at a laundromat doing my clothes doot de doot, and ran into a kid who was about 20+. He was on the phone with a buddy, looking at his detergent like it was alien, and just not seeing the connection. I asked if he needed help, he said yes. Told him to get off the phone so he could listen, and he did. Then I turned the bottle around and said these instructions are what you need, but put clothes in. Measure detergent by size of pile in the machine. Put soap in this slot here. Wash. Dry in dryers over there. Then I asked him don't you know how to do this? He said no, when I go home my mom always does my clothes. *facepalm*

My parents were emotionally/verbally abusive yutzes. But I learned a lot of life skills, washing clothes. Ironing. The great concept of buying clothes you didn't iron . Cooking. Dishes (dishwasher, hand wash). Vacuum, dusting, the room DOES look cleaner if there's no food/crud bits on the floor. How to bargain and be thrifty/cheap (recycle aluminum, trade skills [I make fudge, you fix thingy]) These come in handy; but I wish I'd had more money management training.
But I never did learn how to cook BROWN rice. (I cannot get it to work worth a phooey.)

[LadyDyani]

But I never did learn how to cook BROWN rice. (I cannot get it to work worth a phooey.)

Good recipe:  http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2013/02/foolproof-oven-baked-brown-rice.html

The brown rice turns out well.

[bloo]

...trade skills [I make fudge, you fix thingy])

That is soooooo cute and funny, Cutenoob!

[Katana_Geldar]

It might be easier to do everything for kids, but it's not better for them in the long run. I was washing my own clothes since I was in 5th grade.

[MommyPenguin]

I tried to teach my oldest (6) to do the laundry, including things like putting it in and switching it to the dryer.  Unfortunately, the washer is just too deep for her to effectively reach the clothes.  I *could* have her put stuff in the washer and get stuff out of the dryer.  But it's also hard for her to carry a full load up the basement stairs.  So right now I just have her fold loads of kid stuff and carry it in a small, kid-sized laundry basket, up the stairs by person.  She still puts stuff in the wrong people's drawers *all* the time, though, drives me crazy.  But yeah, she's 6.  By the time she's 18, I would *hope* we'd have all these things ironed out.

It does seem like people want children to be less independent nowadays, though.  Our local children's agency recommends that children not be out of line of sight, including in their own backyard, until they're 8 years old.

[MrTango]

I tried to teach my oldest (6) to do the laundry, including things like putting it in and switching it to the dryer.  Unfortunately, the washer is just too deep for her to effectively reach the clothes.  I *could* have her put stuff in the washer and get stuff out of the dryer.  But it's also hard for her to carry a full load up the basement stairs.  So right now I just have her fold loads of kid stuff and carry it in a small, kid-sized laundry basket, up the stairs by person.  She still puts stuff in the wrong people's drawers *all* the time, though, drives me crazy.  But yeah, she's 6.  By the time she's 18, I would *hope* we'd have all these things ironed out.

It does seem like people want children to be less independent nowadays, though.  Our local children's agency recommends that children not be out of line of sight, including in their own backyard, until they're 8 years old.

Pun intended? 

When I was 6 or so, my mom taught me how to sort and fold socks.

[Katana_Geldar]

8 years old? That's when my Dad would catch up on sleep in the car while we ran around the park on weekends.

[PastryGoddess]

8 years old.  I was allowed to walk around the corner to the store at 8 years old. 
If I remember correctly, the rules were
Go Outside
Come in at lunch
Go outside
When the street lignts came on, you need to come home

Backyard rules:
Quiet=Trouble
Screaming= Everything is fine
Crying=You better be bleeding

[Katana_Geldar]

Backyard rules:
Quiet=Trouble
Screaming= Everything is fine
Crying=You better be bleeding

My granddad's wide could ever get this. Se was forever telling us to be quiet while in the living room. For kids, quiet = something is going on.

[Piratelvr1121]

At 8 my boys were allowed out alone to visit their friend's houses but had to stay on our block.  When I was 8 I had boundaries but was allowed to go outside by myself and some of my friends lived right across the street.

[KarenK]

But I never did learn how to cook BROWN rice. (I cannot get it to work worth a phooey.)

Good recipe:  http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2013/02/foolproof-oven-baked-brown-rice.html

The brown rice turns out well.

Two words - rice steamer. Perfect every time.

[Cutenoob]

But I never did learn how to cook BROWN rice. (I cannot get it to work worth a phooey.)

Good recipe:  http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2013/02/foolproof-oven-baked-brown-rice.html

The brown rice turns out well.

Two words - rice steamer. Perfect every time.

I grew up with a rice cooker, but only did white rice. I moved out and stopped eating rice for 20 years. Not kidding. Eating it more often, but not worth the $ for rice cooker. grr

[amandaelizabeth]

When our daughter was about 14 she went through a period of moaning about the groceries I bought, the shampoo etc that I choose.  Why didn't I buy the heavily advertised brand etc.  We tried to explain how much we had in our budget for things and that we bought what we could afford but she just didn't seem to get it.  So over the long holidays, about 7 weeks here, I gave her the money I would have spent on these things, and said that she could take over the house and that any money she did not spend she could keep.  There were a few rules such as we had to have enough food, no alcohol was to be bought and that the only food the cat would eat could not be changed.
You should have seen the difference.  Supermarket own brands, generic toiletries, and my husband swears that she stood outside the loo counting how many square of loo paper were being used. Some of the early meals were rather rough but they got better, and we did run out of a few things and she learnt that popping down to the dairy was quick but expensive. We got nagged narrow about our wastage and 'do you know how much that cost?' seemed to be heard all time.  But and it was a big but she saved us a lot of money, and taught me a few tricks on buying better.  Now at 35 she makes every penny squeak.  So it is worth setting up experiences for your teenagers to teach them life lessons.