young adults learning the hard way - update post #29

[magicdomino]

A corn popper vacuum?  I want one!  Man, I loved my corn popper, although I'm not sure how my mother felt about it.   

[Piratelvr1121]

Noisy toys don't bother me. I was telling someone about how someone gave my middle son a drum set for Christmas and they said "Oh I bet you loved that!" sarcastically and I'm not sure they believed me when I said "Oh I don't mind, I like drums!"

[LadyClaire]

My oldest, at that age, loved to sweep too, and I bought him a play cleaning set with a toy broom and mop. 

My sister, when she was a baby, apparently loved to sweep. There are pictures of her in her little walker with the broom.

She just discovered that her 9 month old son loves to chase the swiffer when she runs it across the floor. He'll go crawling after it as fast as he can as she cleans, trying his best to grab it. I told her he's obviously taking after her..he has an obsession with floor cleaning devices.

Being a mean aunt, I took the swiffer and pushed it around him in circles and then laughed hysterically as he crawled around and around and around trying to catch it.

[TootsNYC]

I tried to teach my oldest (6) to do the laundry, including things like putting it in and switching it to the dryer.  Unfortunately, the washer is just too deep for her to effectively reach the clothes.  I *could* have her put stuff in the washer and get stuff out of the dryer.  But it's also hard for her to carry a full load up the basement stairs.  So right now I just have her fold loads of kid stuff and carry it in a small, kid-sized laundry basket, up the stairs by person.  She still puts stuff in the wrong people's drawers *all* the time, though, drives me crazy.  But yeah, she's 6.  By the time she's 18, I would *hope* we'd have all these things ironed out.

She needs a long-hangled tongs!
And at 6, she really can be better at categorizing. Maybe some more coaching and a reward/penalty if she gets it right?

Maybe she can invent some system for helping her remember? (like, one stripe on the white socks for the oldest male; add a stripe for each person down the age spectrum; a white circle or dot for the oldest female?)

And maybe she doesn't put it in the drawer but on the bed?

It does seem like people want children to be less independent nowadays, though.  Our local children's agency recommends that children not be out of line of sight, including in their own backyard, until they're 8 years old.

Yeah, really! I once wrote a little blurb for a Q&A/parenting column about whether a 7yo can use a toaster. The agency we contacted said no. I'm thinking, "ye gods, it's not that difficult." I argued that if she said "no, not at all," we'd lose credibility and some parents would completely toss out the entire answer, and that we'd more like to influence them if we said, "Yes, with some surprisingly serious reservations" and coach parents through how to coach their KIDS (like, yes, but not if Mom isn't home; yes, if you use the bamboo tongs and not a fork; yes, if Mom is in the same room; yes, if you have the toaster plugged in somewhere easy to UNplug; yes, if you walk them through all the things that could go wrong and what their response should be--fires, sparks, stuck toast, too-dark toast smoking but not burning, etc.)

[Piratelvr1121]

LOL!! Like a cat with a laser pointer!!! 

Piratebabe is hilarious with the real vacuum. He used to be terrified of it and would scream anytime it turned on. Now he's still unsure about it but will approach it when it's turned off like a knight in shining armor approaching a sleeping dragon.  When it turns on, he runs away but will sneak up behind it while I'm vacuuming but if it is turned towards him he turns tails and runs, but doesn't cry, just looks like he's plotting his next attack.   

He'll go up to it when it's turned off and unplugged and pull out the retractable cord and grin. Like "Ha! Got your tail, you vile beast!"

[TootsNYC]

Did you know? the personwho organized the most famous (and most successful) of the newsboys' strike in NYC was under 15? (If I remember right, they sometimes called him "the old man")

And his "union members" were 6 to 11, and they ran their own businesses, essentially.

http://ows.edb.utexas.edu/site/newsboys-strike-1899

Kids can do WAY more than we give them credit for nowadays.

[siamesecat2965]

My mother used to refer to men who can't or won't do household chores as "chickens who'd starve beside a pile of corn."  This was not a complement.  All of us, boys and girls, learned some basic cooking, and we learned how to do laundry when we started dropping clothes on the floor instead of putting them away properly.   

Your mom was one smart lady!  I love this. My mom taught me from an early age how to do basic chores, although she was afraid i would "break" her washer so until I was in college, I wasn't allowed to do my own laundry. But I was expected to bring it down to the basement, bring it back up to my room, AND put it away.

I knew a girl in college who's mother sent their HOUSEKEEPER up to her room to clean it, and do her laundry for her. Amazing. she was doing her NO favors at all.

[Virg]

Softly Spoken wrote:

"And while I'm ranting, I had a kid I babysat tell me he got chocolate chip cookie dough flavored tooth cleaner at the dentist  buh-but why do the grown-ups have to just have mint? Where's my banana flavor tooth polish?"

You know, if you ask the dentist he'll give you the kid stuff.  Most adults just prefer mint, but there's no law about it.

Virg

[CakeBeret]

My 3yo likes to "help" me cook. As PPs said it's far more hindrance than help but he has fun and I'm sure he'll learn with time. I narrate what I do and why, and give him safe tasks that he can do himself.

I also have him help me with household chores, and he loves putting laundry into the dryer. I don't do it as much as I should, because I'm impatient and letting him do it takes about 5 times longer. But I do it as much as I can handle, lol.

[Minmom3]

I tried to teach my oldest (6) to do the laundry, including things like putting it in and switching it to the dryer.  Unfortunately, the washer is just too deep for her to effectively reach the clothes.  I *could* have her put stuff in the washer and get stuff out of the dryer.  But it's also hard for her to carry a full load up the basement stairs.  So right now I just have her fold loads of kid stuff and carry it in a small, kid-sized laundry basket, up the stairs by person.  She still puts stuff in the wrong people's drawers *all* the time, though, drives me crazy.  But yeah, she's 6.  By the time she's 18, I would *hope* we'd have all these things ironed out.

She needs a long-hangled tongs!
And at 6, she really can be better at categorizing. Maybe some more coaching and a reward/penalty if she gets it right?

Maybe she can invent some system for helping her remember? (like, one stripe on the white socks for the oldest male; add a stripe for each person down the age spectrum; a white circle or dot for the oldest female?)

And maybe she doesn't put it in the drawer but on the bed?

It does seem like people want children to be less independent nowadays, though.  Our local children's agency recommends that children not be out of line of sight, including in their own backyard, until they're 8 years old.

Yeah, really! I once wrote a little blurb for a Q&A/parenting column about whether a 7yo can use a toaster. The agency we contacted said no. I'm thinking, "ye gods, it's not that difficult." I argued that if she said "no, not at all," we'd lose credibility and some parents would completely toss out the entire answer, and that we'd more like to influence them if we said, "Yes, with some surprisingly serious reservations" and coach parents through how to coach their KIDS (like, yes, but not if Mom isn't home; yes, if you use the bamboo tongs and not a fork; yes, if Mom is in the same room; yes, if you have the toaster plugged in somewhere easy to UNplug; yes, if you walk them through all the things that could go wrong and what their response should be--fires, sparks, stuck toast, too-dark toast smoking but not burning, etc.)

I have 3 daughters.  For a while, it was REALLY hard to tell who the white sport socks in the wash belonged to.  I got fabric paint and left mine blank, DD#1 got 1 dot under the toes, #2 got 2 dots, and #3 got 3 dots.  It worked well.  It DID cause a laugh one time when my nephew asked why our socks all had eyes on the bottoms!   

[Library Dragon]

When DS1 was 8 we had back to school night.  In the hall were the essays about the students' families.  His said, "I don't like it when my parents slave me." 

When we returned home I calmly asked what DS1 meant.  "You know, when you make me clean the dishes off the dinner table and make my bed." Amazingly he lived.  Fast forward to a few years ago when a roommate was "evicted" for not doing his (roommates) share of the chores.

When each DS hit teen years their laundry was their responsibility.  If something was in the laundry room and I needed to fill a load I would add it.  When DS1 was in an all male military college he spent a lot of time teaching friends how to do laundry.  His roommate was a prince from a small African nation.  He was used to having "people" do it for him.  DS1 explained he would teach him, but he was NOT going to do it for him. 

[Winterlight]

4-H was great for me and my brother- it's how he learned to cook.

I also started housesitting as an older teen- a couple days of independent living with my mom nearby was very useful.

[Piratelvr1121]

My oldest, after being invited to a boy scout meeting by a friend at church, wants to join.  It's a commitment, but I'm thinking it might be good for him, as he said that the boy scouts, unlike the younger levels, are expected to do more things for themselves.

I didn't know 4-H taught cooking.  MIL has told us about a camp that DH went to as a boy, she said that while it wasn't easy sending him off for a week, it did him a lot of good.

[kymom3]

Scouts are great for teaching independence.  Our boys do a little demonstration for new Scouts before their first campout--this is how to pack a backpack, what to take, etc.  They usually throw in some funny things-don't pack the huge iron skillet or the 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle.   

Not sure if our 4-H office still does it, but they did a "Cooking Boot Camp for Boys" week long class a few years ago that DS3 took.  It was during spring break and the boys went every day.  They ended up with some nice kitchen utensils and each boy got a funny trophy at the end.  DS3's was written on a wooden spoon, he was the "best carrot peeler"  The last day they cooked a big dinner for their families.

[Piratelvr1121]

How about teaching how to ask for help when needed? My oldest is a bright kid but does have some subjects he struggles with but will NOT ask the teacher or us for help. 

(Unfortunately in this he's a chip off the old block-I was like that too, in my case it was because I'd get distracted, miss things and then felt stupid for asking what the teacher probably covered when I saw something shiny.)