Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

Not a response to an ugly word, but a response to something obviously untrue

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menley:
I have to agree with lady_disdain - while I know many of my mother's friends, I don't know most of the details about her relationships with them. Especially as the mother seems to be rather self-centered (based on the background story), even if she told her daughter what happened, I doubt she would present herself in a negative light. I wouldn't assume the daughter was in denial or lying, I'd just assume she was unaware.

BeagleMommy:
Another thing that may have happened is that Ellen may not have told her DD the pertinent details of your falling out.  It's very easy to leave out any details that paint you in a bad light or she may have told her DD that you "overreacted" to something.

However, I think you are best rid of this person.  Complete silence worked well for you in this case.  In the future, you could always try "Yes, it's been a long time.  Oh look, kitty's gotten into the India ink and created an abstract.".

EllenS:
If I really liked the DD and didn't want to break contact, I would have said something like:

DD: "She didn't mean to hurt you, she really cares about you."
ME: "You're so sweet. Now tell me about your new pictures."

I think, since her reaction ticked you off so much, your silence was perfectly appropriate.  You certainly did not do anything wrong or impolite.

And I think, because you did not say or do anything untoward, you could always pick back up with DD at anther event *if you wish to*.

But you've made me paranoid about my screen name - I swear, I am NOT the special snowlake you are talking about! My DD is still a little kid, not having gallery openings.

Waterlight:

--- Quote from: BeagleMommy on March 01, 2013, 11:31:07 AM ---Another thing that may have happened is that Ellen may not have told her DD the pertinent details of your falling out.  It's very easy to leave out any details that paint you in a bad light or she may have told her DD that you "overreacted" to something.

--- End quote ---

Now that you mention it, this seems to be the most likely explanation, given that SS Ellen (and EllenS is most definitely NOT this SS, FTR) has either shaded things or flat-out lied in the past to make herself look good.  But that's another story or two for E-Hell  ;)  Let's just say now that I was too forgiving of some serious problems with her in the past.  The Thanksgiving incident was just the final straw in an ongoing pattern of bad behavior.  (And BTW, that really was Dad's last Thanksgiving--he died less than six months later.  I would not have been able to live with myself if I'd missed it to accommodate SS.)

Several PP's have made the point that DD may not have been in denial or lying--and I'll concede that point, since I was assuming the worst.  That's a valid criticism, I think.  DD was probably just wanting to believe what her mom told her.

jedikaiti:

--- Quote from: Waterlight on March 01, 2013, 01:43:55 PM ---
--- Quote from: BeagleMommy on March 01, 2013, 11:31:07 AM ---Another thing that may have happened is that Ellen may not have told her DD the pertinent details of your falling out.  It's very easy to leave out any details that paint you in a bad light or she may have told her DD that you "overreacted" to something.

--- End quote ---

Now that you mention it, this seems to be the most likely explanation, given that SS Ellen (and EllenS is most definitely NOT this SS, FTR) has either shaded things or flat-out lied in the past to make herself look good.  But that's another story or two for E-Hell  ;)  Let's just say now that I was too forgiving of some serious problems with her in the past.  The Thanksgiving incident was just the final straw in an ongoing pattern of bad behavior.  (And BTW, that really was Dad's last Thanksgiving--he died less than six months later.  I would not have been able to live with myself if I'd missed it to accommodate SS.)

Several PP's have made the point that DD may not have been in denial or lying--and I'll concede that point, since I was assuming the worst.  That's a valid criticism, I think.  DD was probably just wanting to believe what her mom told her.

--- End quote ---

Assuming her mother told her anything at all.

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