Author Topic: Getting people to RSVP  (Read 1522 times)

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Momiitz

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Getting people to RSVP
« on: February 28, 2013, 08:31:53 AM »
My daughter received a birthday party invitation the other day. It gave the time and date of the party but no address. You had to RSVP to get the address. It's a kids party so I'm sure it's local. I thought it was a great way to solve the problem of people showing up without RSVPing.

I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on the matter?  Do you think this is rude or is it brilliant?

MNdragonlady

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2013, 08:40:28 AM »
For us, it would mean one extra step before I could RSVP. My kids to to school at a charter school, so the students come from a rather large geographic area. A positive response depends on both the time and the location. If I have to drive 30-45 minute to get to the venue (has happened), there are some days where that simply doesn't fit the family schedule. And if I have to call first to get the location, well, frankly, that would be mildly irritating and would result in my putting less effort into making it work for my kid to attend.

So, my response is, if you know most families live close by, it's probably workable. But if you have people who will have to come a long distance, I think you're going to end up with more back-and-forth with each family before actually knowing who is coming. And you might end up with fewer people overall because of the hassle.

But maybe the trade-off is worth it, if it means you know who will be there.



m2kbug

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2013, 08:54:10 AM »
My daughter received a birthday party invitation the other day. It gave the time and date of the party but no address. You had to RSVP to get the address. It's a kids party so I'm sure it's local. I thought it was a great way to solve the problem of people showing up without RSVPing.

I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on the matter?  Do you think this is rude or is it brilliant?

I find it terribly annoying if they don't give an address, as it helps me decide my yes or no...where do they live, what kind of neighborhood is it, how far away is the home or venue?  With divorce and kids living in two different households, you can't always assume the party will be close or in a safe neighborhood, and I don't want to have to call and then bail because the party will be on the other side of town.  In most cases, the party is very close and local, but there have been times it is not or the venue is 45 minutes away.  It never occurred  to me this is a way to get that RSVP.  It seems like a good plan, actually, but I think it's better that that the parents know the details in advance.

Margo

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2013, 09:01:43 AM »
I suppose it could work if you gave a general location but not a specific address.

I did this when I hosted a house-concert last year. The date and town the concert were in were on the and's website, with a contact e-mail for me. People then had to mail me for the full details, including the address.

It that situation it meant my address didn't need to be publicly available, and also because people did have to take the extra step of getting in touch it seemed that only those who were really interested got in touch (we didn't have any no shows) which was a good thing as space was limited.

I can see with parties where the guests already know each other it would be harder to work out a way of doing it which gives enough information for guests to decide if they can come, while still requiring them to answer. 

AppleBlossom

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2013, 09:44:46 AM »
Another vote for needing to know the location so I know whether I'd be rsvp'ing yes or no. Even in my own town, some places are a pain in the neck to get to.

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2013, 10:02:42 AM »
And the recent Build-A-Bear thread has me thinking that some venues may not work for every person invited. I realize that getting people to RSVP is frustrating, but I would not want to inconvenience my guests.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2013, 12:21:12 PM »
I've heard of this before and see it as rude. It assumes the majority of your guests do not have the social skills to RSVP to an event and I prefer to not insult my guests.

MindsEye

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2013, 12:38:22 PM »
Disclaimer: I don't have kids (so don't do the kid birthday thing) and tend not to do any kind of formal entertaining myself, so none of this is from my experience.

However, I like the way that my SIL handles RSVPs for my nephews parties.  She will state right on the invitation what the incentive is for RSVPing (personalized goodie bags for people she knows are attending) or the penalty for not RSVPing (the fun center won't let you in if they don't know if you are coming).  It seems to work well for her, especially since she has no trouble sticking to her guns.

*inviteseller

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2013, 06:03:53 PM »
I've heard of this before and see it as rude. It assumes the majority of your guests do not have the social skills to RSVP to an event and I prefer to not insult my guests.

You, as a civilized person, would like to assume people are as etiquette minded as yourself, but after throwing parties for the last 17 years, I have found it is easier to assume the other parents are clueless.  I have my kids parties at a local county park where I rent a large grove.  The one year my DD's 1st grade class, the girls from her soccer team, and some family friends were invited.  There was a firm RSVP date...and it was like I had not even put it on the invite.  Because I coached the soccer team, I saw the parents twice a week so they verbally said yes or no, but the class mates?  Out of 23 kids, I heard from 3 of them.  Day of party, 9 kids who said yes were there, then another 11 that I had never heard from.   My sister had to run to the store for more hot dogs and burgers and drinks.  And I did not have enough gift bags, so i, as discreetly as i could gave them only to the ones who RSVP'd.  I wanted to scream, but this happens all the time.

Roe

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2013, 06:44:04 PM »
It might be easier to assume that parents are clueless but it's still rude to do so.

I also think the withholding of location is pretty rude and obnoxious.  If I had to go through that much trouble, then I'd just tell my child that he wouldn't be attending.

heartmug

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2013, 06:45:29 PM »
My daughter received a birthday party invitation the other day. It gave the time and date of the party but no address. You had to RSVP to get the address. It's a kids party so I'm sure it's local. I thought it was a great way to solve the problem of people showing up without RSVPing.

I'm wondering if anyone has any thoughts on the matter?  Do you think this is rude or is it brilliant?

I see I am in the minority here, but I think it is brilliant!  Now if it is a skating party, or swimming party or something like that, I want to know that.  For instance, I have one child who hates ice skating and will not attend anything like that. 
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SamiHami

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #11 on: February 28, 2013, 07:28:09 PM »
I don't find this rude at all. I do think it is a sad commentary on "modern" manners that so many people can't be bothered to RSVP to someone kind enough to invite them/their kids to an event, thereby forcing hosts to consider this type of action.

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Hmmmmm

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2013, 07:34:56 PM »
I've heard of this before and see it as rude. It assumes the majority of your guests do not have the social skills to RSVP to an event and I prefer to not insult my guests.

You, as a civilized person, would like to assume people are as etiquette minded as yourself, but after throwing parties for the last 17 years, I have found it is easier to assume the other parents are clueless.  I have my kids parties at a local county park where I rent a large grove.  The one year my DD's 1st grade class, the girls from her soccer team, and some family friends were invited.  There was a firm RSVP date...and it was like I had not even put it on the invite.  Because I coached the soccer team, I saw the parents twice a week so they verbally said yes or no, but the class mates?  Out of 23 kids, I heard from 3 of them.  Day of party, 9 kids who said yes were there, then another 11 that I had never heard from.   My sister had to run to the store for more hot dogs and burgers and drinks.  And I did not have enough gift bags, so i, as discreetly as i could gave them only to the ones who RSVP'd.  I wanted to scream, but this happens all the time.
Oh, believe me I'm aware it happens. I have some kid birthday party stories to raise your hair. However, I've always been able to look at a guest list of 22 to 25 kids in my children's classes and been able to figure out pretty much who will come and who won't and I plan the party based on that with a few extra's to spare. If we invited 25 kids, I start out with an expectation that we'll have 20 - 22 show up unless I get more "nos".  Yes, I end up with a 4 or 5 extra gift bags occasionally but I don't mind because there was always a kid who'd mom came to pick up a child with a sibling in tow and I'd give him/her one of the left overs and I don't fret over the cost because it would have been no extra expense if all the kids had attended that were invited.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2013, 07:37:01 PM »
I think it is a bit rude to provide no location information but if the invite read:  'Please come to Jimmy's party in the North East part of the City.  Will provide exact address when you RSVP in the affirmative', it would be OK.

But I agree with SamiHami that it is a pretty sad commentary on 'modern' manners.
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Itza

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Re: Getting people to RSVP
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2013, 03:47:35 AM »
I wonder if it's not necessarily to get an RSVP but partly to do with getting an idea of where to book depending on how many respondents you have. But then again, bookings may be required much further in advance.

The problem with this though, a potential guest cannot make an informed choice about whether they can make it. A few respondents have mentioned geography, time, etc. For me, it would be whether the venue was accessible for my son who is a wheelchair user: if there's a gravel pathway and stairs... no chance. One time we were invited to a venue that was accessible from the street but it was held in an upstairs room... there was no lift, so we couldn't go, but at least we knew the venue on the invitation.




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