Author Topic: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?  (Read 6698 times)

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Jones

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #15 on: March 01, 2013, 08:34:00 PM »
I'm extremely curious too....but understand if you can't tell us what's going on.

Best wishes!

gramma dishes

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #16 on: March 01, 2013, 08:36:42 PM »
Just standing in line behind the others.

Admittedly curious, but understand if you can't go further.  Hope things work out well for you, and quickly.

JenJay

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #17 on: March 01, 2013, 08:52:08 PM »
I really hope the FIL hasn't decided that The Idea must have been so good that Mrs Zyrs and the company conspired to cut him out of the loop.

Best wishes, zyrs!!

Twik

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #18 on: March 02, 2013, 01:05:54 AM »
Well, to me it sounded from the start as if FIL wasn't fully grasping reality. I don't think a company is likely to pay a million dollars for an unsolicited suggestion. At best, one could send them a teaser - "I think you can change your assembly procedure to double the production of widgets. Let's do lunch, and talk about how I can help you."

Putting a note in the suggestion box, "Why don't you double the speed of the conveyor belt?" is not how one makes money.

If he really believed something like this would make him a fortune, I can see all sorts of trouble arising. Best wishes to zyr that he comes to reality quickly.
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jedikaiti

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #19 on: March 02, 2013, 01:22:59 AM »
What the ....?

Man , that just went from zero to sixty !

No advice , just best of luck -but I gotta tell ya - I am dying of curiosity here .

Yea, that's my reaction. Good luck, it sounds like you're going to need it.
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zyrs

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #20 on: March 02, 2013, 03:45:05 AM »
OK, I will try to assuage curiosity without going into too much detail.

It's really obvious to both my wife and I that FIL might be suffering from dementia of some type's onset.  He was having a hard time putting thoughts together, is sure his suggestion is being used because the company is still in business, has a conspiracy theory about why he hasn't been paid his millions yet.  And knows that my wife won't mind being fired because of all the millions he will have to share with everyone.  It was just generally unpleasant.

The legal advice is to see what we can do if anything to help the person who has poa set it up so FIL can't access enough money to bankrupt himself.




chibichan

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #21 on: March 02, 2013, 06:13:56 AM »
Thanks for the explaination , that at least unboggles my mind . I continue to wish you and your FIL the best of luck .
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gramma dishes

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #22 on: March 02, 2013, 08:50:03 AM »
Thanks for the explanation. 

Good luck to you and whoever has POA.  Sounds like a difficult situation for everyone concerned.  When you're dealing with dementia, it always is.   :(

Yvaine

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #23 on: March 02, 2013, 09:42:09 AM »
OK, I will try to assuage curiosity without going into too much detail.

It's really obvious to both my wife and I that FIL might be suffering from dementia of some type's onset.  He was having a hard time putting thoughts together, is sure his suggestion is being used because the company is still in business, has a conspiracy theory about why he hasn't been paid his millions yet.  And knows that my wife won't mind being fired because of all the millions he will have to share with everyone.  It was just generally unpleasant.

The legal advice is to see what we can do if anything to help the person who has poa set it up so FIL can't access enough money to bankrupt himself.

Unboggled me too. Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. (I had envisioned him trying to sue the company for stealing his idea!)

LadyL

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #24 on: March 02, 2013, 12:04:52 PM »
OK, I will try to assuage curiosity without going into too much detail.

It's really obvious to both my wife and I that FIL might be suffering from dementia of some type's onset.  He was having a hard time putting thoughts together, is sure his suggestion is being used because the company is still in business, has a conspiracy theory about why he hasn't been paid his millions yet.  And knows that my wife won't mind being fired because of all the millions he will have to share with everyone.  It was just generally unpleasant.

The legal advice is to see what we can do if anything to help the person who has poa set it up so FIL can't access enough money to bankrupt himself.

I am glad you are addressing the financial implications of FIL's situation earlier rather than later. I hope you are able to get the proper medical and legal advice to help keep the situation manageable (including for FIL - having delusions can be very stressful for the person having them).

Minmom3

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #25 on: March 02, 2013, 12:33:45 PM »
OK, I will try to assuage curiosity without going into too much detail.

It's really obvious to both my wife and I that FIL might be suffering from dementia of some type's onset.  He was having a hard time putting thoughts together, is sure his suggestion is being used because the company is still in business, has a conspiracy theory about why he hasn't been paid his millions yet.  And knows that my wife won't mind being fired because of all the millions he will have to share with everyone.  It was just generally unpleasant.

The legal advice is to see what we can do if anything to help the person who has poa set it up so FIL can't access enough money to bankrupt himself.

I am SO sorry.  My mother resisted and fought for a few years against the thought of dementia, and it made things very difficult for me (I'm her only child, so nobody to share my woe with).  Now that she's progressed far enough, she KNOWS her brain is not her friend, and she's grateful for all I do, and that aspect of things is much better. 

When I moved her into assisted living, she gave me the check book and asked me to straighten things out, which is partly how I realized just how much she had deteriorated.  She asked for it back, but I told her she couldn't keep track of anything anymore and I would be paying her bills from now on.  I got POA on the checking account and her medical at that same time.  That went on for about a year, with her being somewhat combative about me having the checkbook, and THEN she decided she was going on a cruise in Greece to see ancient archeology sites.  Needless to say, she wasn't in any physical condition to do that, and it took months before I was able to get the money back, and I was very lucky to be able to do so, as she'd bought and paid for the trip after the last refund date!  THAT was when I took away her debit card.  The fact that the rent check to the facility bounced because she had bought the trip was just icing on the cake...   :(  It was NOT a fun time, needless to say.

I wish you and your family the best in getting his affairs safely handled.  It is a nightmare.
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weeblewobble

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #26 on: March 02, 2013, 08:21:54 PM »
The part about his daughter not caring about getting fired because FIL will have so much money to share is what bothers me.  Would it be wise for your wife to contact her HR department or supervisor to say something along the lines of, "My dad seems to be in the early stages of dementia and is getting obsessive about the suggestion he made about XYZ process.  If he contacts the company 'on my behalf' and makes demands or behaves rudely, please understand that he is not in his right mind and he doesn't do this with my knowledge or support?"
« Last Edit: March 02, 2013, 08:36:57 PM by weeblewobble »

Jones

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #27 on: March 02, 2013, 08:44:23 PM »
Yes, thank you for sharing. I'm glad you're already talking to the person with his POA. I hope that, since you're all aware of what's happening, any repercusions at work are minimized. Weeblewobble has a great suggestion on how to speak with HR.

Twik

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #28 on: March 08, 2013, 11:48:49 AM »
The part about his daughter not caring about getting fired because FIL will have so much money to share is what bothers me.  Would it be wise for your wife to contact her HR department or supervisor to say something along the lines of, "My dad seems to be in the early stages of dementia and is getting obsessive about the suggestion he made about XYZ process.  If he contacts the company 'on my behalf' and makes demands or behaves rudely, please understand that he is not in his right mind and he doesn't do this with my knowledge or support?"

That's probably not a bad idea, if he's getting obsessive about it.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

lurkerwisp

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Re: How to politely tell my FIL he isn't going to be a millionaire?
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2013, 03:26:00 PM »
OK, I will try to assuage curiosity without going into too much detail.

It's really obvious to both my wife and I that FIL might be suffering from dementia of some type's onset.  He was having a hard time putting thoughts together, is sure his suggestion is being used because the company is still in business, has a conspiracy theory about why he hasn't been paid his millions yet.  And knows that my wife won't mind being fired because of all the millions he will have to share with everyone.  It was just generally unpleasant.

The legal advice is to see what we can do if anything to help the person who has poa set it up so FIL can't access enough money to bankrupt himself.

I am SO sorry.  My mother resisted and fought for a few years against the thought of dementia, and it made things very difficult for me (I'm her only child, so nobody to share my woe with).  Now that she's progressed far enough, she KNOWS her brain is not her friend, and she's grateful for all I do, and that aspect of things is much better. 

When I moved her into assisted living, she gave me the check book and asked me to straighten things out, which is partly how I realized just how much she had deteriorated.  She asked for it back, but I told her she couldn't keep track of anything anymore and I would be paying her bills from now on.  I got POA on the checking account and her medical at that same time.  That went on for about a year, with her being somewhat combative about me having the checkbook, and THEN she decided she was going on a cruise in Greece to see ancient archeology sites.  Needless to say, she wasn't in any physical condition to do that, and it took months before I was able to get the money back, and I was very lucky to be able to do so, as she'd bought and paid for the trip after the last refund date!  THAT was when I took away her debit card.  The fact that the rent check to the facility bounced because she had bought the trip was just icing on the cake...   :(  It was NOT a fun time, needless to say.

I wish you and your family the best in getting his affairs safely handled.  It is a nightmare.

My grandma behaved similarly. In one of her fits of rage she gave most of the money from selling her house to a sleazy relative in California (who immediately took a trip to Vegas, because they're just that classy).  It took several months of legal wrangling and her near death of medical issues she refused treatment for to get her moved into assisted living and have her accounts managed by someone other than herself.  My parents are still in legal fisticuffs with the CA relative trying to get at least some of the money back (or a charge of elder abuse, because that's what it is).

OP, you've all my sympathy. [[Hugs]] if you want them.