Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Asking for food without "stretchers"

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NyaChan:
The first time I had egg in tuna salad was when I visited a prison - after that, I absolutely can't stomach it.  In the tuna and lobster roll example, I think it is very likely that the added ingredient didn't suit them, rather than it being the guest trying to get more of the good stuff.  Really - a can of tuna is not that much of a luxury item.  The roast incident, well that would have bugged me a lot if they were doing it on purpose but not so much if they genuinely don't like the side items.

siamesecat2965:
I agree with those who say its more that they don't like certain ingredients, than trying to get more of the "good stuff" I detest hard boiled eggs, and relish, so that in tuna would basically make it inedible for me. My mom, on the other hand, loves sweet relish, and adds it to tuna. So when we have it when I visit, she makes it without, splits it, and adds relish to her "half"

I also can't stand celery, so if someone were making lobster rolls, and putting celery in, it would never occur to me that by asking them to leave it out i was taking more than my share.

A roast, however, or a single dish, not mixed, yes, that's rude when you take a larger than normal portion, and ignore the rest of the food. Kind of along the lines of picking meat or cheese, say, out of a pasta salad.

cicero:
As pp's said, asking to leave out ingredients would be more because of taste,not to get more of the good stuff. Personally I prefer the  tuna with more fillers! But I do get What you say in that now you would need to use more of the expensive stuff. I am actually sometimes on the other side of this'd when someone throws a bagel brunch that consists of bagels spreads and veggies, salmoin, tuna. The veggies are there to go *on*the bagel as condiments, but I sometimes prefer to not eat carbs, especially bagels which-while I do dearly love 'em - are very high in calories/carbs. So I'll tend to take a lot more of the veggies. I hop that isn't rude...

blarg314:

I'd vote for "It depends"

In the first two examples, if I were making the sandwiches, the one without filler would simply have less volume of filling, so the same amount of the premium ingredient. Like at Subway - if I order a sub with no toppings, I get less stuff in my sub rather than more tuna. So there it may have been a matter of interpretation - your guest was thinking "I don't like hard boiled eggs" and you were hearing "Give me more than my share of tuna".

In the last case, with the roast, I think it depends on how much of the roast they took.  If they took more than their share, based on the size of the roast and the number of people, then they were being rude. But if you had six people, and they took 1/6 or less of the available main course, then I would say it's just a matter of preference rather than rudeness. If you planned to have leftovers for later, and you're entertaining guests, then it's better to slice of the portion you want to reserve before serving.

Sharnita:
I agree that it is because they do not like X,  not because they are trying to get more of Y. And it is a tuna sandwich or a lobster roll.  It is not unreasonable to ask for it without minor add-ins.

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