Asking for food without "stretchers"

[QueenofAllThings]

Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

[bopper]

My husband hates celery, so if he did that it wouldn't be because he wanted more lobster, but less celery.

[Yvaine]

Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

I think it also can depend on whether it's already made when the guest gets there. Like...with a tuna salad, I'd say normally it's all mixed up before the guest even gets there, and there's not really a way to pick out an ingredient retroactively whether you like the host's particular tuna salad recipe or not. But if it's more like assembling cold cut sandwiches on the spot, I don't think there's a problem with asking for no tomatoes on it or something.

[camlan]

I don't eat eggs. I'm not allergic to them, but the taste, the texture, the smell all turn my stomach. Eggs are pretty much the only food I can't choke down in the name of politeness. I know it's all in my head, but I feel nauseated all day if I eat the least bit of egg.

So if I saw my hostess in the process of making tuna salad and there were eggs involved, I'd ask nicely if she could put aside a portion for me without the eggs. In the case of a lunch of tuna subs, there probably wouldn't be much else in the meal, so I wouldn't be able to fill up on sides. And there's no way I could eat tuna salad with egg in it.

If it were something like mushrooms, which I don't like, but I can eat without problems, I'd keep my mouth shut and just eat the mushrooms. And I prefer Miracle Whip to mayo, but I'd never mention that, either. If I kept my mouth shut about the egg in the tuna salad, I'd have to come up with an excuse as to why I wasn't eating the main part of the meal, but filling up on carrot sticks (or whatever else was on the table) instead. Would a host want to prepare a meal for a guest and then not have the guest eat it?

But I wouldn't expect more tuna in my sandwich. I'd expect the host to remove a portion of the tuna, say 1/4 if there are four people, and mix that with whatever else was being added and use that for my sandwich. If that meant I had a lot of mayo and relish, then I'd eat a lot of mayo and relish along with the tuna.

[Redneck Gravy]

Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

I will eat anything put in front of me (except coconut), I was also raised to eat what is set in front of ya.  I eat beets, calf fries, frogs legs, liver, etc...there just isn't much I don't like.  Now I would never order pancakes in a restaurant but if a host makes them I will eat them. 

I am deathly allergic to mushrooms (cream of mushroom soup sends me to the hospital) but I would never order someone to avoid it.  Anytime I am served something new or at a new place I will discreetly ask what is in.    I posted something several years ago about a dish that was made with cream of mushroom soup that I had put on my plate - I moved it around a lot and then got rid of it. 

And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday. 

[Hmmmmm]

I'm agreeing with the others that don't believe the friends were trying to get more of the good stuff, just letting you know their preference on how they like their sandwiches.

For tuna salad, my mom always made with grated dill pickes, grated apples, lemon juice, mayo, and salt and pepper. To me the extras weren't to stretch the ingredient but to make canned tuna actually taste good. If someone added an egg to their salad, I wouldn't think it was to stretch the can of tuna but a flavor preference. Honestly, I'd never go to the trouble of boiling and peeling a couple of eggs to save the cost of opening an additional $1 can of tuna.

On the lobster roll issue, I agree that I find celery overpowering and would prefer it not be in my lobster roll. But I wouldn't expect to get more lobster on my roll than the ones who had the lobster/celery combo. I don't like cheese on my ham sandwhiches. I don't expect more ham on my sandwich to compensate for the lack of cheese.

I do agree it can be a challenge to portion out a group protein like a roast. But I always find there are some who prefer a small abount of protein and a larger volume of the meat and others who just don't like potatoes/carrots cooked with that way (my kids don't). But that doesn't mean a person should get a larger portion of protein. They should take a reasonable portion and only go back for seconds if after everyone else has gotten their first serving.

[wolfie]

And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.

[Sharnita]

Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

In this case, I don't see it as requiring more work.  She has the mayo and tuna no matter what - the guest is saying "At that point you can put mine on the bread and call it good." 

[Erich L-ster]

I have never heard of putting apple or egg in tuna salad and honestly, I don't think I could eat it without my face turning green.

What do you do if you accept the offer of a tuna sandwich thinking tuna+mayo=yum and you're served something with egg or apples in it? I really don't think I could choke it down with a non-disgusted look on my face.

How do you deal with that without insulting your host or appearing ungrateful?

[turnip]

Honestly, I think the lesson here is that egg salad/tuna salad/chicken salad are best saved for guests who's preferences you know well!  ;-)  Personally I have food texture issues and find the idea of 'crunchy' items like celery or apples in an sandwich simply nauseating.  If I were a guest I'd probably politely decline and hope I could avoid a rumbling stomach.

[Hmmmmm]

And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.

Your not alone.  My DH thought I was off my rocker the first time he saw me grating an apple into tuna. He now only eats it with grated apples. I just did a google search on tuna and grated apples and only saw a view hits. One was a woman blogging that her Texan husband had grown up eating it like that because that's how his mom and grandma made it. So maybe it was a "Texas" thing.

There are more recipes with diced apples, but we always have to grate them as we don't like the crunchy texture of the diced apple.

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

And as far as tuna salad goes - I mix canned tuna with boiled egg and mayonnaise.  Maybe a little mustard & garlic powder and occasionally horseradish but I have never heard of tuna salad without eggs.  I learn something new on eHell everyday.

I have never heard of tuna salad with apples. it's really interesting to see what other people consider staples in their meals.

Your not alone.  My DH thought I was off my rocker the first time he saw me grating an apple into tuna. He now only eats it with grated apples. I just did a google search on tuna and grated apples and only saw a view hits. One was a woman blogging that her Texan husband had grown up eating it like that because that's how his mom and grandma made it. So maybe it was a "Texas" thing.

There are more recipes with diced apples, but we always have to grate them as we don't like the crunchy texture of the diced apple.

The first time I ever had one with grated apple was in VT.

POD to the other posters who said for the salad cases, at least, it likely has more to do with preference, not wanting the "good" stuff.

I’ve never thought of those ingredients as stretchers in my tuna salad… just regional variations on the recipe. I don’t think I‘ve ever had just a tuna and mayo sandwich, in fact (unless it was tuna steak, not canned tuna).

[Mikayla]

Maybe it's just me, but I think canned tuna has changed (and not in a good way).  I used to be able to eat the chunk light tuna in tuna melts, but the flavor seems to have deteriorated I can't use it even in that.  I'm stuck with solid white, which I don't think of as being cheap.

Anyway, I don't fault the guy in the OP that much, although I personally would have eaten it.  Also, when I'm making tuna or chicken salad for others, I generally put a lot in it, and if they're standing right there, I'll ask about prefs first.  I've put everything from grapes to chutney to scallions to pecans to pineapple in my chicken salad.

[rose red]

I'm with those who think it's the taste and not simply wanting the "good stuff."  I don't like fruit in chicken salad, but that seems to be the new fangled way of doing it.  It never occurred to me the fruit made it stretch until this thread.  I just never thought about it even though it's obvious when pointed out.

On the other hand, even if I only take a small portion of vegetables, I would never take more than my fair share of a roast to "make up" for it.

[Judah]

It would never occur to me that canned tuna is something that needs to be stretched and I would assume that any other ingredients that are added to the salad are for flavor only.  In my neck of the woods eggs aren't any cheaper than tuna, so to me, that wouldn't even make sense.  I can see myself asking to have something like eggs, apples, raisins, etc,  left out of my salad, as that doesn't sound like something I would want to eat. But it would be solely due to the taste, not to get more of the "premium" ingredient.