Asking for food without "stretchers"

[Deetee]

In order

1) Tuna: It would never, ever, ever occur to me that tuna is an ingredient that requires stretching. Canned tuna (to me) is the cheapest type of protein one can get. When we run out of cat food, the cat often gets tuna and the price is not that different. I also buy more expensive eggs so the price differential between tuna and eggs is not huge.

I might not ask to have the egg left out because of an "eat cheerfully what you are served" mentality, but with a close friend, I would ask for no egg.

2) Lobster: Assuming I asked for no celery, I would expect to get a slightly smaller portion (same amount of lobster as I would have with the celery) of the lobster.

3) Roast: I would not look to amount of roast versus side dishes, but amount of roast versus people at table and take an appropriate portion.

Just because I think it's fun: If there were 5 people and one roast, I know that most people I have dinner with would take 1/10 of the meat on the first round. Then people would have seconds and thirds, but NO-ONE will take the last slice.

[VorFemme]

Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

I personally can't eat any version of tuna salad, I think that I may have gotten food poisoning at a family picnic before I was in second grade - because the aversion to tuna salad sandwiches goes back as far as I have any memory of being offered one - and the smell is what causes the aversion.....which reaction is very similar to two other things that I react to that I *know* I had an episode of food poisoning with.

Lobster & roast - I can see where some people prefer their protein unadulterated with fruit, veggies, heavy seasonings that mask the flavor, or the like - but not liking the add-ons doesn't always mean that they get a bigger serving of JUST the expensive protein.   It kind of depends on if the hosts serve the plates or the guest loads up with half the Veal Prince Orlaff and just assumes that there is always "more in the kitchen".

Because there may be more in the kitchen, the recipe may only serve the number of people at the table, or the hostess may have scraped the budget bare to get that special dish made for the dinner party - so grab extra at extreme risk of exposing yourself as a greedy bore.  (People do expose themselves as greedy bores - so it happens.)

[CakeEater]

Sometimes it mightn't be about two tins of tuna being too expensive, and more about two tins being too much tuna, but one being not enough.

If I asked for food without the stretcher, I'd expect to receive a smaller portion than everyone else.

[ladiedeathe]

For me the tuna wasn't about cost, it was about having a weird amount of left overs.

I love the variety of answers that have come in, and they are pretty much in line with what I was thinking. I've got no issue at all with leaving out ingredients for people who don't like them- if you hate celery why eat celery? My issue has always been a weird discomfort when it it hugely possible that someone is just being a bit piggy (or a bit thoughtless).

[Outdoor Girl]

What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

OP, if you were making your tuna salad for me, I'd tell you to put in more eggs and hold the tuna.     I like egg salad sandwiches but never make them for myself.  And I hate tuna.

[snowdragon]

Unless I am violently allergic to something, I would never tell my host how to prepare a dish. That is putting my desires in front of everybody else's, and/or requiring extra work on the host's part. 

Unless you are specifically asked ("Do you want mayo on your sandwich?"), I believe in eating what you are given.

This. especially on the first sentence.

[Erich L-ster]

What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

[MariaE]

What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

Well, you can always use the technique from "Friends". "This meal is so good I want to eat it on the terrasse so I get a view to match." and then hope Joey will come deal with it

No? Okay then

But honestly, unless there's something in the mix that you simply can't eat, you just cope. Putting on a game face is part of growing up.

And then you just eat a little bit and apologize, "I'm sorry, I had a big lunch."

[kudeebee]

What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

OP, if you were making your tuna salad for me, I'd tell you to put in more eggs and hold the tuna.     I like egg salad sandwiches but never make them for myself.  And I hate tuna.

I agree with this.

As to the roast issue--if there were guests other than your family you could always plate the roast for everyone and let them add their own vegetables. As people are starting to finish, you could mention you have more roast and go get it.

[Katana_Geldar]

What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

I'd wonder if she was pregnant. Then I'd probably try and get away.

Tuna salad with eggs, apple or relish? Never ward of that. Mine I got from my Mum. It's tuna, shell pasta, mayo, pickled onions, gherkins and celery, served on a bed of lettuce. It's not ago extending the salad, just making it more pleasant to eat. Sort of like rice in a jambalaya.

Now imagine if someone asked for no rice in their jambalaya?

[TylerBelle]

I loathe boiled egg whites and celery is only good for eating with peanut butter or pimento cheese smeared into its crevices. Anyhoo, as mentioned, I would put on a game face and dive into a host's egg white / celery -infused dishes. Unless the food was to be assembled according to preference.

Perhaps the guests were just stating what they like on their food without any thought of getting more of one ingredient. Though I agree with Deetee about even  if someone wants less of the stretchers, that doesn't mean they should get to substitute with more of the main ingredient. And if what's spread on their bread is somewhat thinner than other folks', well, that's just the way it goes.

@ SamiHami

Anyone else reminded the Mary Tyler Moore show episode where Mary had a dinner party, and Lou took what amounted to 1/2 of the food meant for the entire group? he would up awkwardly putting the majority back on the serving platter. Veal Prince Olaf, I think it was.

YES!  It was Veal Prince Orloff. (I think Sue Anne Nivens/Betty White helped make it.)

I remember this. Hee! I believe also Rhoda brought an unexpected date (played by Henry Winkler) to the party and she had to share her dinner.

[Yvaine]

What if your host serves, just to use an extreme example, meatloaf with tuna in the middle and chocolate sauce with whipped cream on top? How do you eat that without looking like you're under torture? How do you get out of eating it as politely as possible? What do you do?

Well, you can always use the technique from "Friends". "This meal is so good I want to eat it on the terrasse so I get a view to match." and then hope Joey will come deal with it

No? Okay then

But honestly, unless there's something in the mix that you simply can't eat, you just cope. Putting on a game face is part of growing up.

And then you just eat a little bit and apologize, "I'm sorry, I had a big lunch."

My aunt once got away with gushing about how rich the food was and how it was so rich she could only eat a little. 

[Dorrie78]

I agree with those who say its more that they don't like certain ingredients, than trying to get more of the "good stuff" I detest hard boiled eggs, and relish, so that in tuna would basically make it inedible for me. My mom, on the other hand, loves sweet relish, and adds it to tuna. So when we have it when I visit, she makes it without, splits it, and adds relish to her "half"

I also can't stand celery, so if someone were making lobster rolls, and putting celery in, it would never occur to me that by asking them to leave it out i was taking more than my share.

A roast, however, or a single dish, not mixed, yes, that's rude when you take a larger than normal portion, and ignore the rest of the food. Kind of along the lines of picking meat or cheese, say, out of a pasta salad.

I also am trying to envision a lobster roll with 2 parts lobster to 1 part celery (as the example in the OP would indicate). I would think that unless you absolutely loved celery, this would be almost inedible. Most of the lobster rolls I've seen (and keep in mind that I'm originally from New England, so perhaps it is regional), are simply lobster meat and a little mayo on a buttered hot dog roll. If there would be something else in there, such as celery, I would expect it to be a very small amount to use as a flavoring or add crunch, not as a stretcher. And if one needs to include a stretcher in the lobster roll to make enough for everyone, maybe one should reconsider the dish altogether and not serve the lobster in a roll - serve it as some sort of an appetizer. Or maybe select a less-expensive main dish.
 

[TootsNYC]

If you have a tuna salad without the "stretchers," then you don't get as thick a filling. Your sandwich has 1/4 can of tuna on it, and so it's thinner than the other ones.

In other words, this:

What I'd probably do, when asked to make something without an ingredient, is portion out the main ingredient for the people eating.

So if there were 4 of us, I'd set aside 1/4 for the person who didn't want the extra ingredient(s) and mix everything up separately 3/4 and 1/4.  If the 1/4 portion ends up being smaller overall, oh well.  They can eat more of the sides.

[Ms_Cellany]

Canned tuna for humans has something in it that cats can't properly digest - I just don't remember what it is.  It is one of those things that isn't a problem as a 'rare treat" but is a problem if the owners try to feed the cat canned tuna instead of tuna cat food.

The problem is more that tuna lacks several nutrients that cats need (Vitamin E, calcium, etc.), so cats on a tuna-only diet will suffer nutitionally.  The mercury in it isn't good for them, either (nor for humans).

Source: SPCA (http://www.aspca.org/Pet-care/ask-the-expert/ask-the-expert-poison-control/canned-tuna.aspx)

We've given tuna to foster kittens when they're sick and not eating. It's like crack cocaine for kitties. Better to have a not-ideal food than no food at all.