General Etiquette > general

Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned

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It sounds as though te lady was rude in how she asked, but it isn't a rude request in itself, and unless I am missing something in the OP, at the time this person made the request, she would not necessarily have known that it wasn't possible.

It's not usual where I live to have an open casket or a formal viewing/visitation but it'soften possible for people to visit the funeral home to say goodbye if they wish.

of course the lady should have asked whether it was possible, rather than framing it as "I want" but it's the tone which is rude, not the request.

Of course the family's wishes are paramount, but it doesn't sound as though the lady would have had any way of knowing what the families wishes were, in advance of asking.

This is the type of thing one doesn't ask.  It puts the family in a very awkward position in their time of grief.   The woman was horribly inconsiderate and self absorbed to demand to see the body.  It showed no compassion for the family. 

My family always have open caskets, but I would never assume or ask!

I think all one can say is "I'm afraid that won't be possible". 

Oh wow.

I think that this is one of those questions that you don't ask, and especially not like that. In fact, the lady in the OP didn't even ask, she instructed the poor young man: 'We want to see her'.

I think that it might, just might, be acceptable to say something like 'Could you let us know if there is going to be a viewing? We would very much like to say goodbye to her in person.' That way, you are indicating both that you care, and also that the family's wishes are paramount.

(((Hugs))) to you and the family, Iris. I'm very sorry.

So sorry to hear of your loss, Iris.  I hope the lovely memories she leaves with you help a little, even though you're in shock now.

Margo,  Iris is an Aussie.  It is extraordinarily unusual for a "viewing" or "open casket" to be held in this country, so the lady would have known.  It's a very unusual thing to ask here.  No excuse. 


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