Thanks guys. I tend to be a 'give people the benefit of the doubt' person - probably part of my aversion to conflict. When they were talking about this I was trying to think "Well, maybe viewings are common where they come from" but even then the demanding tone seemed off, so I thought I'd bring it to you all.
For those who sent their well wishes, thank you. Her family is doing their best to get on with their lives, which is good to see. They managed to get her husband to counselling which did him a lot of good. My own loss and grief are nothing compared to her family's and even other members of my own family who saw her daily and shared everything with her, so at this stage my role is supporting them. I will say etiquette hell really helped in that I was able to see more clearly when things were really NOT about me, but rather about others who needed me, and when it was okay to let go a bit.
It also helped me in that I didn't get up and brain the woman who carried on a loud conversation, including laughing loudly at her own funny anecdote, right up the front of the large church as the grieving family were escorted in for the funeral.
Although if looks could kill I would have seen a LOT of people commit murder right then...