Author Topic: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned  (Read 8439 times)

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Bottlecaps

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #60 on: March 20, 2013, 04:54:12 PM »
Whoa, that lady was way out of line. Now, all the funerals/viewings I've ever been to were open-casket, so it's something to which I'm accustomed. However, not everyone wishes to have an open-casket funeral, and it's certainly not up to anyone outside of the family to demand that they get to see the body. I agree with lowspark - the proper thing for this lady to do would have been to ask if there would be a viewing or memorial service before the funeral itself. If yes, politely ask for details of the time, date, and place. If no, move it on along, nothing to see here folks (no pun intended, I swear). I know that when I keel over, I wouldn't mind if my family chose to have a viewing for me (unless my body were mangled beyond even the best mortician's repair & cosmetic skill-level), but I would roll over in my grave if someone demanded to Mr. Bottlecaps or any children that we may have someday to see my body without even going the polite route of asking if there would even be a viewing/wake or anything of that nature.

All that said, my condolences on the passing of your friend. :(
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Calistoga

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #61 on: March 20, 2013, 06:32:52 PM »
If the woman were smart and tactful, she would have instead asked if the family would be having a viewing. If they say no, move on. If they say yes, you can then say "That's lovely, we'd like to attend, let us know when that will be." You never ever ever announce your desire to see a dead person to a grieving family member.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #62 on: March 20, 2013, 09:02:52 PM »
Quote
they were caught at the funeral home between the visitations trying to open the casket

My jaw just hit the desk.  Sadly, though, I'm not completely surprised having heard and seen some of the other things people do out there thinking that it's perfectly ok to do.

At my father's funeral, his daughter from a previous marriage asked my mother if she could take pictures of him in his casket. My mother said, "Absolutely NOT!" Before the procession to the grave site, the family was allowed one last "goodbye". All of us were on our way to our cars when my brother caught the half sister's husband up by the casket with a camera. We never got the camera away from them, but I'm sure she had him take pictures. There were words said after the funeral. I am sure my father would have been mortified if he knew what they did.

In my family we usually have about an hour for just family, since our family is huge and then another hour or so for friends and aquaintances to visit Certain members of my family take pictures, but during the family only portion.  I've never seen an friend or acquaintance ask to take pictures of our family members

I think it's weird and don't like to be around. But I won't begrudge other for doing it if it helps them to grieve. 

gramma dishes

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #63 on: March 20, 2013, 10:11:34 PM »
When my Grandfather died (he was either 99 or 100, not sure which) I lived many hours away and was unable to attend his funeral.

Imagine my shock when a few weeks after the event I received a post card with a picture of him in his casket.  In the "message" part of the post card, it just gave the dates of his birth and death and the location where the funeral had taken place.

Apparently several of my cousins and my brother and sister all got them, so I was at least not the only recipient.  It was horrifying to me to even think that any of our relatives would do something like that.  It just seemed to be the epitome of bad taste! 

I mentioned it to my Mother and she said that she had no idea that was going to happen but that she had been informed by other shocked relatives who'd received them.  She assured me that she and all her brothers and sisters claimed they had not been consulted. 

Apparently taking a picture of the deceased in their coffin was a part of the package 'service' offered by the funeral home.  To this day, no relative has ever confessed to being the one who actually ordered the postcards, then addressed and mailed them.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 10:13:17 PM by gramma dishes »

Twik

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #64 on: March 21, 2013, 10:46:17 AM »
If it were a "package deal," and that particular service was overlooked when it was booked, I can see that maybe no one in the family *did* order the cards. The picture might have been taken by the staff of the home, and sent to the addresses of relatives on file.

It might have been included under some obscure name in the contract, like, "postal memorialization".
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gramma dishes

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Re: Announcing "I want to see her body" - Death mentioned
« Reply #65 on: March 21, 2013, 11:11:44 AM »
If it were a "package deal," and that particular service was overlooked when it was booked, I can see that maybe no one in the family *did* order the cards. The picture might have been taken by the staff of the home, and sent to the addresses of relatives on file.

It might have been included under some obscure name in the contract, like, "postal memorialization".

But someone addressed them, stamped them and mailed them!  The funeral home would have had no access to all our names and addresses unless they had been supplied by a relative.  Yet unanimously they all swear they didn't do it!