"You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings

[violinp]

This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.

[Tabby Uprising]

This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.

Or tell him, "Sure, I'll smile.  After I see you repeat that same routine with the next guy who walks through the door. P.S. I do not exist for your viewing pleasure."

[starry diadem]

This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.

Or tell him, "Sure, I'll smile.  After I see you repeat that same routine with the next guy who walks through the door. P.S. I do not exist for your viewing pleasure."

This!  His action was not about making the world a happier place, but about *control*.  He ordered CrochetFanatic to do something for his pleasure, because women (in his tiny mind) are there to please men and make themselves pretty and attractive for the men around them.  It's sexist and demeaning.  He was appallingly rude.

[Tea Drinker]

It's been a while since I got that "smile" from a stranger, but I figure that the next time it happens I'm going to say "Fifty dollars, please." I suspect he won't want to give me fifty dollars, but I won't want to smile at him, so fair's fair. (I don't actually expect to get the money, I just want to see how the next boor reacts.)

[Hillia]

I like to give the most outrageously fake, teeth-baring grin I can muster, kinda like a chimp's aggression display, complete with dead eyes.  You want a smile?  Here ya go.

[rose red]

I think I would say "I am smiling" while keeping the same expression that was already in place.

[Tabby Uprising]

I think I would say "I am smiling" while keeping the same expression that was already in place.

That's an awesome response!  It brings Wednesday Addams to mind 

[Jocelyn]

This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

[daisy1679]

This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

I personally prefer to go the "Sheldon" route - http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.deviantart.com/download/162240812/Sheldon_Smiles_2_by_demaniore.jpg&imgrefurl=http://demaniore.deviantart.com/art/Sheldon-Smiles-2-162240812&h=586&w=614&sz=128&tbnid=rxfLwUOly37tDM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=101&zoom=1&usg=__wbykymqMUgX6iXO-SsdNcHBTvZ4=&docid=6lKT3BJOkp_4XM&sa=X&ei=E6dEUeT3DoPiyAG4nICQAw&ved=0CDcQ9QEwAA&dur=1993

[athersgeo]

I like to give the most outrageously fake, teeth-baring grin I can muster, kinda like a chimp's aggression display, complete with dead eyes.  You want a smile?  Here ya go.

Mine's less a chip's aggression display and more crazed-cannibal-who's-just-decided-you-look-good-to-eat. It's VERY effective and I can (as my dancing teacher discovered*) keep it up for a good two or three minutes.



*In fairness, she did have a good reason to ask me to smile as I was rehearsing for a performance, the trouble was, I *HAD* been smiling...

[RooRoo]

My mother had a very effective face she used to make. It was neither a grimace nor an eyeroll. The face indicated that she was demonstrating extreme patience in the presence of appalling rudeness/stupidity.

I use it in both the "Smile!" situation, and the previously-mentioned "I don't drink" problem. When someone pesters me about not drinking, after I've said I'm allergic (I'm a sober alcoholic), and they continue with "Suuure... what's you're reaction?" I give them the Look, and say, "I. Throw. Up." Perfectly true. 

[Thipu1]

Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

[PastryGoddess]

Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

Of course I had to go and google it

[diesel_darlin]

The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that. 

[Thipu1]

The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that. 

MIL does this too.  When in her presence, everyone must project great enjoyment and enthusiasm at anything that is happening. It is exhausting and so totally fake that I want to plotz.