I have been following the snowflake thread, and I also read the notalwaysright websites, and I have noticed a pattern - apparently we of eHell are not the only ones who complain about rudeness. The only ones who are more vigilant than us are the people who are so quick to recognize 'rudeness' because they veritably live
To these people, "You are being rude" actually translates to "You are not doing what I say / Giving me what I want / Meeting my expectations / Kowtowing to my whims, etc."
I would like to hear about your most "Bizzaro
" experiences, in which you found yourself wondering if it was Opposite Day, or thinking you must have fallen into a different dimension because you
were accused of being rude when you were not. Was it a cultural or generational misunderstanding, or a matter of meeting a very Special Snowflake? Were you ever vindicated or is this the first time you've had a chance to vent about the injustice you have suffered?
I think I felt like this often as a child when I was forced to go through the motions and "perform" for strangers, but when I was shy I was told "don't be rude."
The only instance I can think of from my adulthood is when my father took offense that I did not want his new GF (who at the time he claimed was "just a friend" and as of last year is now his wife), who I had not even met
at this point, at my 30th birthday party. Apparently there was a section in the new etiquette book that states "Even though it is your
birthday (and a milestone one at that) and the celebration has traditionally been restricted to family and very close friends, you must accept the last minute addition of a veritable stranger (who you should have been introduced to way
before now) and pretend that you are not uncomfortable meeting them for the first time in a very intimate setting." Yeah, I
was the rude one.
So what about you guys? What horrors have you experienced, and what horrors have you been accused of, in the name of (perverted or outdated) "etiquette"? Also, to keep us from wallowing in too much vitrol, I would also be interested in hearing the times when you thought you were being polite and because of an innocent misunderstanding you were not seen as such. For example I recently read that while in one culture it is polite to clean your plate, in another culture you must always leave a bite of food on your plate or else you are insulting your hosts by suggesting they did not give you enough. What faux pas can you only excuse with "I didn't know"?