"You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings

[Outdoor Girl]

If you want to give a fake number memorize the number for your local time & temperature service or some other recorded message.  Don't subject a real live person to harassment from your pest.

This is a great idea!

[wolfie]

I've decided that if anyone's rude enough to insist they have my number after I've made it clear I'm not interested, they're going to get a phone number.  867-5309.

I haven't had the chance to use that, but then my name's not Jenny, either.

In college that number went to a men's dorm room. I was told they were not amused at the number of people calling and asking for Jenny.

[Piratelvr1121]

I kinda wondered if that was an actual # or if, because of the song, someone might have gotten wise and just not issued that particular combination of #'s.

[PastryGoddess]

I kinda wondered if that was an actual # or if, because of the song, someone might have gotten wise and just not issued that particular combination of #'s.

I think at the time of the song coming out it was an actual number in many places.  However, I think it's no longer in use because of the song

[mmswm]

I kinda wondered if that was an actual # or if, because of the song, someone might have gotten wise and just not issued that particular combination of #'s.

I think at the time of the song coming out it was an actual number in many places.  However, I think it's no longer in use because of the song

This discussion got me curious so I called my father, who's an expert in electronic switching.  Actually, he's testified as an expert witness in several FCC and public service commission trials.  Here's what he had to say:

On the "Jenny" song:  The telephone companies phased out the use of the number as existing customers complained. When a customer who had that number called in to get their number changed, they simply retired it as a valid number in that area code.  Over the course of the years since then, it's been completely retired to be best of my father's knowledge.

On the movie that used a non "555" number:  The movie producers were in violation of FCC regulations, and would have faced large fines, which explains why they changed the display when it came out on video. 

[KB]

There is a great Snopes page about this:

867-5309

[kherbert05]

Drinking is so ingrained in the US culture that *choosing* not to drink seems to be almost literally incomprehensible to a large chunk of the population.

I'm in the US honestly other than my cousins (Canadian not Texans) spiking a drink to see what goodie two shoes was like drunk*  - I've never been pressured to drink.

*(My mom and her amazing Mom powers figured that one out without me saying a word - Hell was paid - they never pulled something like that again)

[Jocelyn]

What about plausible random combinations of numbers? I had a DTD cale salesman who wouldn't go until I gave him a phone number. So I did, it just wasn't mine.

I've been the victim of this.  Some woman had given some man a "plausible combination of numbers", that just happened to be my phone number.  At first I was nice about it, but after a few hundred calls and texts within the span of a few days, I was ready to track him down and throw him into a frozen river.  I'm not saying that all people are like this, but just warning that those fake numbers can and do affect the lives of real people.

Ditto. I once had to deal with a girl who kept calling, started calling in the middle of the night, had her friends call asking for other guys...all because she was SURE I was lying when I said that the guy didn't live there, I had no idea who it was, he hadn't lived at this number in at least 5 years...I finally spoke very sternly to one of her friends who'd called with the 'Can I speak to Mike? Oh, then, is John there?' tactic. I told her neither of them lived with me, I was tired of being bothered about this, and I really suggested that they forget about John and any other man who'd give them a fake phone number rather than his own.

[iridaceae]

I'm in the US honestly other than my cousins (Canadian not Texans) spiking a drink to see what goodie two shoes was like drunk*  - I've never been pressured to drink.
*(My mom and her amazing Mom powers figured that one out without me saying a word - Hell was paid - they never pulled something like that again)

Large chunk does not equal all.
I've run across many people who have tried to spike my drinks. I am old enough that my freshman year the drinking age was 18. One gal on my floor found out within the first week that I did not drink. From that point on she refused to acknowledge my existence. At any big party from then on continuing on tip today  "c'mon,  just one little drink. Just try it. You'll like it."

[girlysprite]

My brother once asked my husband what his salary was, because brother was in the process of applying for jobs. Husband didn't want to share what he earned, but did give a general indication of what was useful in their field of work. My brother kept pressing, why didn't husband share it? It's not like he would post it on facebook or something! Husband said that it was private.
Brother started mailing that he didn't understand why he didn't tell him, they were so close, it was something friends would do, and that he didn't like husbands attitude.
Two momths later when I went out to dinner with brother for his graduation, brother started interrogating me as for why husband didn't share it, And regurgitated all the arguments.

Appareantly, if he can't umderstand why people have certain boumdaries, he feels he doesn't have to respect them.

[Venus193]

It is most unfortunate that many people feel that DNA or another close relationship is a get-out-of-E-Hell-free pass.  The truth is that this should be the opposite in the name of maintaining the relationship.

Having said that, it should also be a situation in which someone can call someone out (privately) on their faux pas.  The idea that it is never polite to do this leaves too much opportunity for the Clueless and the Aggressively Rude to insult and embarrass others in their lives.

[Piratelvr1121]

It is most unfortunate that many people feel that DNA or another close relationship is a get-out-of-E-Hell-free pass.  The truth is that this should be the opposite in the name of maintaining the relationship.

Having said that, it should also be a situation in which someone can call someone out (privately) on their faux pas.  The idea that it is never polite to do this leaves too much opportunity for the Clueless and the Aggressively Rude to insult and embarrass others in their lives.

I completely agree with you on that one.  And I think that's just the sort of dynamic in toxic families that keeps the dysfunction flowing.  The boundary crossers constantly push them as far as they're allowed to and when someone gains a backbone and says "No more" they cry "You're being RUDE!" and if they get enough family members on their side, the one that "rocked the boat" is made to wonder if they are right to have established boundaries or not.

[Venus193]

I've been thinking about that issue for a long time and think we need to begin taking a stand on it.  Since I don't want to derail this discussion I will post it as its own thread.

[magician5]

My brother once asked my husband what his salary was, because brother was in the process of applying for jobs. Husband didn't want to share what he earned, but did give a general indication of what was useful in their field of work. My brother kept pressing, why didn't husband share it? It's not like he would post it on facebook or something! Husband said that it was private.
Brother started mailing that he didn't understand why he didn't tell him, they were so close, it was something friends would do, and that he didn't like husbands attitude.
Two momths later when I went out to dinner with brother for his graduation, brother started interrogating me as for why husband didn't share it, And regurgitated all the arguments.

Appareantly, if he can't umderstand why people have certain boumdaries, he feels he doesn't have to respect them.

I wonder if this would work:

"I'll tell you my salary if you ... no, if you can get yourr wife to tell me how often you "play scrabble", what your favorite position is, and what's the most unusual place you've done it. Come on, they're simple questions, people answered them all the time on TV on The Newlywed Game."

[Venus193]

I wonder if this would work:

"I'll tell you my salary if you ... no, if you can get yourr wife to tell me how often you "play scrabble", what your favorite position is, and what's the most unusual place you've done it. Come on, they're simple questions, people answered them all the time on TV on The Newlywed Game."

I think we need a laughing smiley who's on his knees pounding the floor.

Is that still on the air?  Years ago when it was new I wondered how many of those coupled ended up later on Divorce Court because of that show.