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Author Topic: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings  (Read 124039 times)

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Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #150 on: March 10, 2013, 05:01:06 PM »
My brother once asked my husband what his salary was, because brother was in the process of applying for jobs. Husband didn't want to share what he earned, but did give a general indication of what was useful in their field of work. My brother kept pressing, why didn't husband share it? It's not like he would post it on facebook or something! Husband said that it was private.
Brother started mailing that he didn't understand why he didn't tell him, they were so close, it was something friends would do, and that he didn't like husbands attitude.
Two momths later when I went out to dinner with brother for his graduation, brother started interrogating me as for why husband didn't share it, And regurgitated all the arguments.

Appareantly, if he can't umderstand why people have certain boumdaries, he feels he doesn't have to respect them.
My father was employed by a company that had a large wagon pulled by Clydesdales as an advertising logo. (no, not the one you're thinking of). In his youth, he and his father had raised draft horses on their ranch, so Dad had an interest in the hitch. One day, he was passing the time of day with the farrier as he was working on the horses' hooves in between shows, and a young man came up and began asking the farrier questions about his job. The farrier was agreeable to answering them, until the young man inquired how much he was paid.
The farrier dropped the hoof he was working on, and straightened up to his full 6'6", and said, 'THAT, I tell my friends and the other folks JUST. DON'T. ASK.'
The young man found urgent business elsewhere.

rose red

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #151 on: March 10, 2013, 06:07:06 PM »
My father was employed by a company that had a large wagon pulled by Clydesdales as an advertising logo. (no, not the one you're thinking of). In his youth, he and his father had raised draft horses on their ranch, so Dad had an interest in the hitch. One day, he was passing the time of day with the farrier as he was working on the horses' hooves in between shows, and a young man came up and began asking the farrier questions about his job. The farrier was agreeable to answering them, until the young man inquired how much he was paid.
The farrier dropped the hoof he was working on, and straightened up to his full 6'6", and said, 'THAT, I tell my friends and the other folks JUST. DON'T. ASK.'
The young man found urgent business elsewhere.

Since he was asking questions, he sounds interested in the job and perhaps meant "What salary range does this kind of job earn?"  If that's what he meant, it's a shame he used the word "you" which made him sound intrusive.  Sadly, it's a common mistake.

Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #152 on: March 10, 2013, 09:09:49 PM »
My father was employed by a company that had a large wagon pulled by Clydesdales as an advertising logo. (no, not the one you're thinking of). In his youth, he and his father had raised draft horses on their ranch, so Dad had an interest in the hitch. One day, he was passing the time of day with the farrier as he was working on the horses' hooves in between shows, and a young man came up and began asking the farrier questions about his job. The farrier was agreeable to answering them, until the young man inquired how much he was paid.
The farrier dropped the hoof he was working on, and straightened up to his full 6'6", and said, 'THAT, I tell my friends and the other folks JUST. DON'T. ASK.'
The young man found urgent business elsewhere.

Since he was asking questions, he sounds interested in the job and perhaps meant "What salary range does this kind of job earn?"  If that's what he meant, it's a shame he used the word "you" which made him sound intrusive.  Sadly, it's a common mistake.

In this man's case...he was the ONLY farrier employed by the company to travel with the hitch. The earlier questions had been about how cool and fun this particular job was, rather than being about being a farrier in general. The young man was giving the impression that he wanted a cool job that was a piece of cake to do, and paid well...not a line of questioning that endears you to a man who has a Clydesdale leaning on his back while he works on its hoof. ::)

dawnfire

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #153 on: March 10, 2013, 09:29:17 PM »
I believe Piers Anthony did something similar.

I always thought it just went to a pre-recorded message.
Whittlesea Victoria

BB-VA

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #154 on: March 11, 2013, 06:42:57 AM »
I believe Piers Anthony did something similar.

I always thought it just went to a pre-recorded message.

I think that was the 1800 HIPIERS line.  Not sure, I never called it, but I got the impression that it was basically updates on whatever he was writing at the time.  That was before the web was really big, and vanity phone numbers were more of the thing to do. 

The only Anthony I like is the Incarnations of Immortality series, so I was not a big fan.  My daughter read some of his other stuff and was pretty interested for a while.
"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born."
- Delenn to Sheridan: "Babylon 5 - Distant Star"

Kimberami

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #155 on: March 11, 2013, 03:11:28 PM »
-- the man at the gym who came in and used the circuit machines and refused to move for everyone using the circuit properly.  We were rude and needed to get lives so what he did would not be such a big deal to us.

-- the woman talking on her cell phone and staring into oblivion near the vending machines.  When I put my money in and was walking away before she even moved, she called me a rude b$%^ for cutting in front of her.

-- the elderly lady who rushed in front of me to the pharmacist and then proceeded to ask a billion questions and slowly conduct her business.  She muttered about rude young people who were in too much of a hurry.  I had not said a word.

-- my ex-friend who yelled at a cruise ship worker because my ex-friend didn't like the signage on the map.  The cruise ship worker was rude for not taking the ex-friend by the hand and walking her to her destination.

-- the person at the snow crab leg buffet who stood digging into the bottom of the pan for the "hottest" crab legs while everyone waited.  SHE said only rude people cannot wait their turn.  SHE deserved the best crab legs.  I guess we were all chopped liver.
Slight highjack because this reminded me of an incident that happened several years ago.
My DH and I were at a buffet restaurant, and there was a couple at an table close to ours who were camping the crab legs.  They would hop up and run to the buffet as soon as the crab legs were put out and take ever single piece.  They kept making comments along the lines of "We're paying X amount for the buffet; we deserve all we can eat."  Um, everyone in the restaurant is paying X amount.  It's a buffet.
I'm not sure how many of you know that there is a fine line between enough crab and too much crab.  The female member of the party discovered that.   I didn't giggle in the restaurant, but I sure did after we left.  She got her money's worth. 
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

dawnfire

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #156 on: March 11, 2013, 07:48:51 PM »
I believe Piers Anthony did something similar.

I always thought it just went to a pre-recorded message.

I think that was the 1800 HIPIERS line.  Not sure, I never called it, but I got the impression that it was basically updates on whatever he was writing at the time.  That was before the web was really big, and vanity phone numbers were more of the thing to do. 

The only Anthony I like is the Incarnations of Immortality series, so I was not a big fan.  My daughter read some of his other stuff and was pretty interested for a while.

I quite liked his Xanth stuff as a teen in the 90's but the puns got a tiresome after awhile.
Whittlesea Victoria

Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #157 on: March 11, 2013, 08:34:58 PM »

I quite liked his Xanth stuff as a teen in the 90's but the puns got a tiresome after awhile.
That, and the endless glee about what color someone's panties were.

I found a complete set of Xanth as an adult, and started reading it, but it was all the juvenile references to panties that did me in, rather than the puns.

Nox

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #158 on: March 11, 2013, 08:56:14 PM »
Quote
The young man was giving the impression that he wanted a cool job that was a piece of cake to do, and paid well

What part of being a farrier looks easy to this guy?

Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #159 on: March 12, 2013, 06:34:46 PM »
Quote
The young man was giving the impression that he wanted a cool job that was a piece of cake to do, and paid well

What part of being a farrier looks easy to this guy?

Well, most any skill looks easy when you have a strong and skilled person performing it. :)
I remember learning to clean hooves; I was quite surprised at how hard it was to imitate my instructor. I learned that a big portion of it is convincing the horse that you know what you're doing. I'm sure those Clydesdales had learned that when their farrier asked for their hooves, they might as well just cooperate with the process.  >:D

snowfire

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #160 on: March 12, 2013, 08:09:45 PM »
Yeah, I'm not a farrier but I've cleaned a LOT of hooves in my time.  It makes a world of difference how well trained and cooperative the horse is.  I've had horses lean on me, bite me in the butt (thankfully wearing heavy parka at the time), refuse to lift their feet, pee on me, try to take a dump on me.  Easy job? I DON'T THINK SO! 

Our farrier says he really hates doing the mini horses.  They are so tiny you really can't lift their feet very far so it's harder on his back.  I told him he needs a grooming table like they use for dogs.

Minmom3

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #161 on: March 12, 2013, 08:51:48 PM »

I quite liked his Xanth stuff as a teen in the 90's but the puns got a tiresome after awhile.
That, and the endless glee about what color someone's panties were.

I found a complete set of Xanth as an adult, and started reading it, but it was all the juvenile references to panties that did me in, rather than the puns.


Well, to be fair, it IS aimed at the youth market, not the adult market. 
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MommyPenguin

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #162 on: March 12, 2013, 09:36:43 PM »

I quite liked his Xanth stuff as a teen in the 90's but the puns got a tiresome after awhile.
That, and the endless glee about what color someone's panties were.

I found a complete set of Xanth as an adult, and started reading it, but it was all the juvenile references to panties that did me in, rather than the puns.


Well, to be fair, it IS aimed at the youth market, not the adult market.

Even as a child/teen, I *adored* the first Xanth books, through maybe around Man from Mundania or so.  But it just seemed like there was less story and more... puns.  I couldn't get through the ones much farther than that.  I'll still go back and read "The Source of Magic" or "Isle of View," but not those later books.  I do remember being disgusted at the cover art from the book with the girl who married Jonathan, the Zombie King.  Brianna, something like that?  The book made such a big deal about her being black, and her people crossing over into Xanth to escape slavery, etc.   And yet the cover art for the book had a dark-haired white girl?  I know the author has no control over that, but I was *very* annoyed at the publishers.
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Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #163 on: March 12, 2013, 09:45:20 PM »

I quite liked his Xanth stuff as a teen in the 90's but the puns got a tiresome after awhile.
That, and the endless glee about what color someone's panties were.

I found a complete set of Xanth as an adult, and started reading it, but it was all the juvenile references to panties that did me in, rather than the puns.


Well, to be fair, it IS aimed at the youth market, not the adult market.
I read a lot of YA fiction, and a lot of it is well-written. I think what bothered me about Xanth was how it was targeted so strongly at males. I don't know many females who think underpants are hilarious. It was a weird dichotomy...writing in a heroic female character, and then having her main function be to flash her panties at the male protagonist.

redcat

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #164 on: March 13, 2013, 05:54:18 AM »
I know I found them both juvenile and misogynistic.