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Author Topic: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings  (Read 124093 times)

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Tabby Uprising

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #180 on: March 15, 2013, 12:09:39 PM »
I think I would say "I am smiling" while keeping the same expression that was already in place.

That's an awesome response!  It brings Wednesday Addams to mind  ;D

Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #181 on: March 16, 2013, 11:19:35 AM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

daisy1679

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #182 on: March 16, 2013, 12:11:44 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

I personally prefer to go the "Sheldon" route - http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.deviantart.com/download/162240812/Sheldon_Smiles_2_by_demaniore.jpg&imgrefurl=http://demaniore.deviantart.com/art/Sheldon-Smiles-2-162240812&h=586&w=614&sz=128&tbnid=rxfLwUOly37tDM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=101&zoom=1&usg=__wbykymqMUgX6iXO-SsdNcHBTvZ4=&docid=6lKT3BJOkp_4XM&sa=X&ei=E6dEUeT3DoPiyAG4nICQAw&ved=0CDcQ9QEwAA&dur=1993

athersgeo

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #183 on: March 19, 2013, 11:04:39 AM »
I like to give the most outrageously fake, teeth-baring grin I can muster, kinda like a chimp's aggression display, complete with dead eyes.  You want a smile?  Here ya go.

Mine's less a chip's aggression display and more crazed-cannibal-who's-just-decided-you-look-good-to-eat. It's VERY effective and I can (as my dancing teacher discovered*) keep it up for a good two or three minutes.



*In fairness, she did have a good reason to ask me to smile as I was rehearsing for a performance, the trouble was, I *HAD* been smiling...

RooRoo

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #184 on: March 28, 2013, 04:00:54 PM »
My mother had a very effective face she used to make. It was neither a grimace nor an eyeroll. The face indicated that she was demonstrating extreme patience in the presence of appalling rudeness/stupidity.

I use it in both the "Smile!" situation, and the previously-mentioned "I don't drink" problem. When someone pesters me about not drinking, after I've said I'm allergic (I'm a sober alcoholic), and they continue with "Suuure... what's you're reaction?" I give them the Look, and say, "I. Throw. Up." Perfectly true.  >:D
For in the fatness of these pursy times
Virtue itself of vice must pardon beg,
Yea, curb and woo for leave to do him good.
     Hamlet, Act 3, scene 4, lines 144-146
       (Pursy: wheezing)

Thipu1

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #185 on: March 28, 2013, 06:28:08 PM »
Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

PastryGoddess

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #186 on: March 28, 2013, 09:48:17 PM »
Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

Of course I had to go and google it

diesel_darlin

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #187 on: March 28, 2013, 09:52:46 PM »
The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that.  >:(

Thipu1

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #188 on: March 29, 2013, 11:01:21 AM »
The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that.  >:(

MIL does this too.  When in her presence, everyone must project great enjoyment and enthusiasm at anything that is happening. It is exhausting and so totally fake that I want to plotz.

mmswm

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #189 on: March 29, 2013, 11:31:13 AM »
I have a very effective "teacher look" that I employ on people who tell me to smile.  It normally works to get people to back off.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Reika

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #190 on: March 29, 2013, 02:18:14 PM »
I had an escalated call today that I think falls under this category, though I suppose it could fall under brain hurt too.

Normally when a rep transfers a caller, they give a brief blurb about the issue so we aren't going into the situation blind.  So I take over the call and say, "Hi, this is Reika, I understand you're calling on X. How can I help you today?"

The woman starts off with, "Let me say, you are incredibly rude. You shouldn't be going by what the other woman said. You should have asked me how you could help me."

Me:  :o "Er, I'm sorry about that. How can I help you?"

It went downhill from there, she said she wasn't calling on a specific policy, then she said she was calling on letters on that policy, but we hadn't sent any letters out in over a year. Ultimately I ended up giving her to my manager because she refused to verify the policy info, or even what letters she was talking about and demaned someone above me.

All my manager said was "freeze dried whackaloon". Yes, I introduced that phrase to my escalation team. :)

LadyClaire

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #191 on: March 29, 2013, 02:26:35 PM »
One day at work, a co-worker looked at me and said "Geez, smile! You look like someone just died".

Well..yeah. My grandmother had just died and I'd gotten the news at work, about 5 minutes before my co-worker made the comment to me. I'm guessing she never told someone to smile again after that.

RingTailedLemur

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #192 on: March 29, 2013, 02:38:36 PM »
Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

Of course I had to go and google it

So did I, and I still don't understand.  Could someone explain, please?

Yvaine

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #193 on: March 29, 2013, 02:40:40 PM »
I had an escalated call today that I think falls under this category, though I suppose it could fall under brain hurt too.

Normally when a rep transfers a caller, they give a brief blurb about the issue so we aren't going into the situation blind.  So I take over the call and say, "Hi, this is Reika, I understand you're calling on X. How can I help you today?"

The woman starts off with, "Let me say, you are incredibly rude. You shouldn't be going by what the other woman said. You should have asked me how you could help me."

Me:  :o "Er, I'm sorry about that. How can I help you?"

It went downhill from there, she said she wasn't calling on a specific policy, then she said she was calling on letters on that policy, but we hadn't sent any letters out in over a year. Ultimately I ended up giving her to my manager because she refused to verify the policy info, or even what letters she was talking about and demaned someone above me.

All my manager said was "freeze dried whackaloon". Yes, I introduced that phrase to my escalation team. :)

Whaaaaaa? Personally, I would be thrilled if what happened during that call was more common. I get so sick of getting transferred to ten people and having to re-explain to each one because the transfer-er didn't explain what I called about.

Reika

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #194 on: March 29, 2013, 08:27:56 PM »
Whaaaaaa? Personally, I would be thrilled if what happened during that call was more common. I get so sick of getting transferred to ten people and having to re-explain to each one because the transfer-er didn't explain what I called about.

That's our standard procedure precisely for that reason. After my post, we did some digging, the caller, and a sibling of hers, have been calling on and off for the past year bitterly complaining about paying the policy benefits to the court appointed representative for that insured's estate. I don't think the whackaloon got any letters, I think she is under the mistaken belief if she acts like she's got stuff from us she'll get us to pay her.

And my manager's comment was after the voicemail. She called the woman back, all she said is "I don't have a politically correct term to use for her."