Author Topic: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings  (Read 32029 times)

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violinp

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #180 on: March 14, 2013, 05:37:13 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.
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Tabby Uprising

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #181 on: March 14, 2013, 07:06:47 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.

Or tell him, "Sure, I'll smile.  After I see you repeat that same routine with the next guy who walks through the door. P.S. I do not exist for your viewing pleasure."

starry diadem

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #182 on: March 15, 2013, 07:12:39 AM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.

I would have made the sourest expression ever, just to be contrary to such a one as him.

Or tell him, "Sure, I'll smile.  After I see you repeat that same routine with the next guy who walks through the door. P.S. I do not exist for your viewing pleasure."

This!  His action was not about making the world a happier place, but about *control*.  He ordered CrochetFanatic to do something for his pleasure, because women (in his tiny mind) are there to please men and make themselves pretty and attractive for the men around them.  It's sexist and demeaning.  He was appallingly rude.
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Tea Drinker

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #183 on: March 15, 2013, 10:42:46 AM »
It's been a while since I got that "smile" from a stranger, but I figure that the next time it happens I'm going to say "Fifty dollars, please." I suspect he won't want to give me fifty dollars, but I won't want to smile at him, so fair's fair. (I don't actually expect to get the money, I just want to see how the next boor reacts.)
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Hillia

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #184 on: March 15, 2013, 12:33:42 PM »
I like to give the most outrageously fake, teeth-baring grin I can muster, kinda like a chimp's aggression display, complete with dead eyes.  You want a smile?  Here ya go.

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rose red

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #185 on: March 15, 2013, 12:54:46 PM »
I think I would say "I am smiling" while keeping the same expression that was already in place.

Tabby Uprising

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #186 on: March 15, 2013, 01:09:39 PM »
I think I would say "I am smiling" while keeping the same expression that was already in place.

That's an awesome response!  It brings Wednesday Addams to mind  ;D

Jocelyn

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #187 on: March 16, 2013, 12:19:35 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

daisy1679

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #188 on: March 16, 2013, 01:11:44 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ???.  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
If anyone tries this with me, I maintain a solemn face and offer a comment like, 'I was just diagnosed with cancer.' Then I bare my teeth at them in a big humorless grin.
I don't know how long 'just' lasts, but I'm going to get all the usefulness out of this diagnosis that I can...

I personally prefer to go the "Sheldon" route - http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.deviantart.com/download/162240812/Sheldon_Smiles_2_by_demaniore.jpg&imgrefurl=http://demaniore.deviantart.com/art/Sheldon-Smiles-2-162240812&h=586&w=614&sz=128&tbnid=rxfLwUOly37tDM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=101&zoom=1&usg=__wbykymqMUgX6iXO-SsdNcHBTvZ4=&docid=6lKT3BJOkp_4XM&sa=X&ei=E6dEUeT3DoPiyAG4nICQAw&ved=0CDcQ9QEwAA&dur=1993

athersgeo

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #189 on: March 19, 2013, 12:04:39 PM »
I like to give the most outrageously fake, teeth-baring grin I can muster, kinda like a chimp's aggression display, complete with dead eyes.  You want a smile?  Here ya go.

Mine's less a chip's aggression display and more crazed-cannibal-who's-just-decided-you-look-good-to-eat. It's VERY effective and I can (as my dancing teacher discovered*) keep it up for a good two or three minutes.



*In fairness, she did have a good reason to ask me to smile as I was rehearsing for a performance, the trouble was, I *HAD* been smiling...

RooRoo

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #190 on: March 28, 2013, 05:00:54 PM »
My mother had a very effective face she used to make. It was neither a grimace nor an eyeroll. The face indicated that she was demonstrating extreme patience in the presence of appalling rudeness/stupidity.

I use it in both the "Smile!" situation, and the previously-mentioned "I don't drink" problem. When someone pesters me about not drinking, after I've said I'm allergic (I'm a sober alcoholic), and they continue with "Suuure... what's you're reaction?" I give them the Look, and say, "I. Throw. Up." Perfectly true.  >:D
"Someday we must write a book of Etiquette for sensible people," said Mrs. Morland, "though apart from a few rules it really boils down to an educated mind and a kind heart." ~ Angela Thirkell, Never Too Late

Thipu1

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #191 on: March 28, 2013, 07:28:08 PM »
Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

PastryGoddess

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #192 on: March 28, 2013, 10:48:17 PM »
Many years ago I had a friend who had a neutral facial expression.  When told to 'smile' he could produce something that looked very much like a Byzantine icon of St. John the Baptist. 

You can be sure that he scared the Bezayzus out of anyone who asked him to 'smile'. 

Of course I had to go and google it
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diesel_darlin

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #193 on: March 28, 2013, 10:52:46 PM »
The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that.  >:(

Thipu1

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #194 on: March 29, 2013, 12:01:21 PM »
The sad part about this is my GRANDMA does this! It drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are at her house and you dont have the look of awestruck glee on your face, she yells SMILE really loud. Ummmm if I wasnt smiling before, I sure dont want to now!


I can just imagine if some stranger did that.  >:(

MIL does this too.  When in her presence, everyone must project great enjoyment and enthusiasm at anything that is happening. It is exhausting and so totally fake that I want to plotz.