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Author Topic: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings  (Read 123955 times)

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Elfmama

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #225 on: March 31, 2013, 10:14:12 PM »
My MIL threw at least one hissy fit per visit was about how rude I was. One of the worst was not laughing at her favorite TV comedy.

Because it's rude to the performers?   ???
Because it was criticizing MIL.  If I didn't laugh, it must mean that I think it's lowbrow humor that only cretins would enjoy.  None of which I ever SAID, mind you.  I was just sitting there minding my own business  and reading.  ::) 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
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PastryGoddess

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #226 on: March 31, 2013, 11:01:36 PM »
If anyone were to poke me in the side and then complain when I jumped, they'd be getting a growl.  I'm extremely ticklish. and everywhere.  A couple years ago my friend was helping me to see if a shirt would fit around me when I was pregnant.  She had long nails and unintentionally but ever so lightly brushed my sides with her nails and I jumped and giggled, that's how ticklish I am. 



This is me.  I love and hate getting pedicures because I'm so ticklish.  New massage therapists are torture for me

dawnfire

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #227 on: March 31, 2013, 11:41:28 PM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ??? .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
Anyone who taps me on the shoulder is going to get a scream, not a smile.  And will be lucky not to get a knee to the goolies.  Certain points on the body are EXTREMELY sensitive for a fibromyalgic; shoulders are one of them.  Even a very light touch is painful.

here's the thing that gets me. If the person is behind you , how can they tell if you're smiling or not?  besides I need my coffee before i'm even human , let alone happy.
Whittlesea Victoria

weeblewobble

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #228 on: April 01, 2013, 04:36:27 AM »
This morning, when I was in line to pay for a cup of coffee and an apple fritter, another customer tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.  I went, "Huh?" and turned to look, and the guy standing behind me gave a really exaggerated grin and pointed to the corners of his mouth.  My expression probably looked something like this:  ??? .  He clarified, still grinning, "Smile!"  I said, "No," and turned to face forward again.  He called me rude.  I think he was rude twice; first in touching me when it wasn't necessary, then in telling me to smile when I was minding my own business and trying to wake up the rest of the way.
Anyone who taps me on the shoulder is going to get a scream, not a smile.  And will be lucky not to get a knee to the goolies.  Certain points on the body are EXTREMELY sensitive for a fibromyalgic; shoulders are one of them.  Even a very light touch is painful.

I am sorry about your discomfort.  However, "goolies" is an expression I've never heard before.  And it really made me laugh.  I plan on using in the future. :)

pwy a wyr

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #229 on: April 01, 2013, 07:40:22 AM »

P.S. While I am proud of DD for defending her brother and her person, I am a little worried about her going from zero to Chuck Norris so easily.  However, I don't want to tell her she was wrong for reacting that way when someone put his hands on her like that.  So we're going to run the scenario past her karate instructor and ask him if there was a better way to handle it.

May I applause you for training your daughter how to go "Chuck Norris" safely and appropriately. I wish I could.

Snowy Owl

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #230 on: April 01, 2013, 07:56:17 AM »

P.S. While I am proud of DD for defending her brother and her person, I am a little worried about her going from zero to Chuck Norris so easily.  However, I don't want to tell her she was wrong for reacting that way when someone put his hands on her like that.  So we're going to run the scenario past her karate instructor and ask him if there was a better way to handle it.

May I applause you for training your daughter how to go "Chuck Norris" safely and appropriately. I wish I could.

Add me to those who think this was an entirely appropriate reaction to someone touching her in an inappropriate and unwelcome way.  She didn't beat seven bells out of him (which would be overkill), she simply stopped him and protected her brother, using the assertiveness and skills she'd learnt in karate.  Sounds like a fantastic kid to me  ;D
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Venus193

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #231 on: April 01, 2013, 09:21:00 AM »
Congrats to your daughter for this.  Here's hoping that other family was banned from the place.





Kimberami

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #232 on: April 01, 2013, 10:03:46 AM »
If the karate instructor suggests that she in anyway over-reacted, find a new instructor.

Your daughter's response was 100% absolutely correct and accurate.  That boy touched her in a place that was beyond inappropriate , combined with the fact that the boy also seriously injured your son - honestly, if those had been my children, I wouldn't have been looking for a staff member, I'd have been looking for a police officer.  I'm so angry right now, I'm shaking.  Good for your daughter, she did exactly as she should have and you should be proud of her instead of worrying if she over-reacted.
POD
Touch me, and you will be punished.  Don't like it?  Then you can keep your hands to yourself.
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

mmswm

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #233 on: April 01, 2013, 10:17:07 AM »
Add me to the list of those applauding Chuck Norris, Jr.  Good for her for being able to defend herself when touched inappropriately!  Double points for defending her brother as well.  You've got a great kid.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

MommyPenguin

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #234 on: April 01, 2013, 10:47:18 AM »
I've always sort of chuckled at people who say, "If somebody grabbed me suddenly, I'd probably involuntarily hit them in the nose!"  And then... it happened to me.  I was getting up from a chair and my husband bussed me on the stomach/side, and I was so startled I elbowed him *hard* in the nose.  He was not happy.  Oops.  :)  I can see the daughter's reaction being part involuntary and part trained reaction from her karate training.
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
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hjaye

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #235 on: April 01, 2013, 11:22:33 AM »
I think this qualifies as one thing that drives me up the wall! :D  Here are my favorite stories here:

1) When a toddler slammed into me as I walked off a plane.  The plane was very late and I was sleep-deprived but I was in the "lane" where other travelers were getting off.  I had heard her screaming and running around, but because it didn't occur to me that she'd just run into walking people and didn't watch for her.  (And I wasn't exactly motivated to be extra aware at the time.)  I was told I was rude for not watching for her.  I'm not proud of this but I told the mother to "parent already."  As I walked away I heard her tell her daughter that "It's OK, her mommy didn't teach her to be polite."  Thankfully I recovered myself enough to not turn around and say that my mommy was severely depressed and negligent but there is no way in heck she would be negligent enough to let her daughter go running into people! 

2) When I asked someone to "keep it down" at a camp site.  They were being very loud at 1 am.  They complained that I had "spoiled everything."  Well sorry for the other 100 people here who are encroaching on your family time.

3) When I tried to get past a woman talking on a cellphone on one of those moving sidewalks at the airport.  I said "Excuse me." But she just blithely kept wandering from side to side and jabbering away.  My husband had been ahead of me and we were both moving fast to catch a flight.  I called up to him, "Tell them I'm coming!"  She turned around and berated me for talking loud when she was trying to have a conversation.

4) When someone was holding up a line at a store while berating the cashier for something that wasn't her fault.  He refused to talk to a manager because, "You'd better just fix it!"  Someone else in line said, "Could you speak to a manager?  The rest of us would like to be served as well."  Of course that person was told off for being "rude."  Which made all of us in line snicker a little.  He realized that all of us where smiling at the irony and told us we were all rude.

This is where I would like to paraphrase Winston Churchill, and Ron White:

I may be rude, but you're stupid.  I can learn manners, but you can't fix stupid!  (Oh if only................ )

snowdragon

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #236 on: April 01, 2013, 11:35:40 AM »
If the karate instructor suggests that she in anyway over-reacted, find a new instructor.

Your daughter's response was 100% absolutely correct and accurate.  That boy touched her in a place that was beyond inappropriate , combined with the fact that the boy also seriously injured your son - honestly, if those had been my children, I wouldn't have been looking for a staff member, I'd have been looking for a police officer.  I'm so angry right now, I'm shaking.  Good for your daughter, she did exactly as she should have and you should be proud of her instead of worrying if she over-reacted.
POD
Touch me, and you will be punished.  Don't like it?  Then you can keep your hands to yourself.

This.  Your daughter was wonderfully controlled in her response.

siamesecat2965

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #237 on: April 01, 2013, 02:41:09 PM »
My mother used to say "Do you want to set the table?".   She got very irritated when I said "No, but thank you for thinking of me."   >:D
Gee, I didn't realize my mother had another table that needed setting!  >:D

Or mine!  I wish I had thought to say that to her growing up! She will still do that, :"do you want to take out the trash, or some such thing" when I visit. I love my mom, and will do anything she asks me to, but I've told her over and over, just ASK me to do it, not ask if I want to do it!

My mom is very direct, but in some ways can be very PA. 

mmswm

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #238 on: April 01, 2013, 05:57:17 PM »
I couldn't figure out where to put this, but I was so amused by it I had to stick it somewhere.  I think this is the best place...

I borrowed my father's truck to go to the grocery store.  I had a lot of shopping to do and I needed the additional storage space the truck would provide over the tiny trunk in my little Civic.  Both of my parents have valid handicap parking placards and I keep one for my son in the truck as well, since he rides in both my car and the truck on a regular basis.  Now, I know you're not supposed to drive around with those things hanging on your mirror, but my parents do, and since it's their truck, I left them up.  They have all three placards hanging from the mirror.

I arrive in the parking lot, and since I don't have any of the owners of the placards in the truck with me, I bypass all the open handicap parking and pull into a regular spot about half way back. I hopped out of the truck only to be verbally assaulted by a crazy lady berating me for "abusing handicap parking".  I just looked at her like she was insane, closed the truck door and started walking into the store.  She followed me, yelling at me for at least half the walk.  I ignored her, but it seems that simply being in possession of the placards constituted "abuse" to her.  I didn't reply, only because if I dared open my mouth, I would have probably been guilty of retaliatory rudeness by busting into uproarious laughter right in her face, so I just kept my mouth shut.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Mel the Redcap

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Re: "You're being rude" - Etiquette hypocrisy & misunderstandings
« Reply #239 on: April 01, 2013, 07:37:32 PM »
My husband says, "I am going to let you do X for me."   It is quite irritating to me.

The real kicker is that he got it from his mother.  She still does it.  I think it was a way to get the kids to do something by making it feel like a "special event". 

Maybe it would have been ok if I was a kid - in my 50's, not so much.

Argh argh argh this!!!!!

My mother did this to me all the time when I lived at home, especially if she visited friends and took me along. "Oh, we'll let Mel do the dishes." ARRRRRRGH!!!!!

No, it's not much better when you're a kid.  ::)
"Set aphasia to stun!"