General Etiquette > general

Seriously Offended By A Friend

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--- Quote from: SamiHami on March 02, 2013, 04:20:22 PM --- He then said "I wish I could marry you." Someone else (that I don't know) heard what he said and said forcefully, "Hey, that's not cool, man!"

--- End quote ---

Can I just say? This person absolutely rocks!

The world needs many more people like that.

gramma dishes:
His unexpected words to you combined with his blowing off his actual job/work make me think there's much more going on here than an etiquette issue.  Sounds like alcohol is taking over his life.

Sometimes people do that for a short time after an emotional event and then get back to 'normal'.  Sometimes they don't.  But I think rather than dwell on his totally inappropriate statements to you (which he in all honesty probably really does NOT remember) at this point, I'd take a wait and see attitude.  It he never repeats this behavior, I'd let it go.

I wouldn't push for an apology, but if things don't improve, then maybe you and all his other friends need to let him know that you all see that he may need some help in getting past this death and finding more productive ways to cope.   Let him know you miss him.  The real him.

I tend to agree with willynilly. Sorry this happened to you, it's debilitating when you get such unexpected behavior from a friend.

Did he say this to you after tasting the pepperoni?  I can see someone saying I want to marry you if something is good.  And if drunk, fornicate/sex/screw etc. 

However it doesn't make it right but maybe easier to deal with him if that's the case, just a poorly disguised compliment.

I wonder if it's worth accepting his apology, but also to let him know you're seriously concerned about him?  Be honest and forthright in letting him know his behaviour was extremely offensive, but ask him if he's okay, if he needs help given that it's obviously a tough time for him.  Have your DH with you, so nothing can be misinterpreted.

If this was a friend of mine, I'd take the time to be there and listen to his worries.  It may be just what's needed for him to face up to any problems and get help before he does something even worse, possibly alienating more people and adding to what may become a vicious cycle of self-loathing and stupid acts.  (This is supposition only, but not out of the realms of possibility in real life.)  Sometimes, a friend taking time to help can mean the world to someone in a bad place.


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