MIL gets weird

[Need to Change]

It might be a ploy.  Depends on the history, or lack thereof.  Then, too, some folks suddenly feel an urge to get closer to family as they grow older -- and they may not always employ graceful means.

But it may also just be a trend.  In the past few years, I've seen more use of dog "mom/dad," even when the humans involved have their own children.  Even more recently I've seen more folks talk about their "grand-dogs" and "grand-puppies."  (Not so much about "grand-cats," for some reason.)  Here, too there may be human grandchildren around as well.

Of course, one possibility doesn't necessarily cancel out all others.

[Dr. F.]

The only time is got really troublesome was after we had our daughter. (The first grandkid in the family.) SIL felt displaced, so she started demanding "equal treatment" for her dogs, since they were my in-laws' "granddogs."  If my daughter got a special treat, SIL would say, in the dogs' voices, that the "granddogs wanted a treat, too!"  If my daughter got a little "just because" gift, SIL would speak for the dogs saying that their feelings were hurt and wanted a gift, too. If the dogs didn't get Christmas presents... it got ugly.

Sorry, you'd think I'd be used to this on EHell, but, <BOGGLE>! Seriously? <BOGGLE>

Wow. I routinely send xmas gifts to my sister's dogs (and vice-versa), but to EXPECT them? Sheesh.

[JeanFromBNA]

The only time is got really troublesome was after we had our daughter. (The first grandkid in the family.) SIL felt displaced, so she started demanding "equal treatment" for her dogs, since they were my in-laws' "granddogs."  If my daughter got a special treat, SIL would say, in the dogs' voices, that the "granddogs wanted a treat, too!"  If my daughter got a little "just because" gift, SIL would speak for the dogs saying that their feelings were hurt and wanted a gift, too. If the dogs didn't get Christmas presents... it got ugly.

Sorry, you'd think I'd be used to this on EHell, but, <BOGGLE>! Seriously? <BOGGLE>

Wow. I routinely send xmas gifts to my sister's dogs (and vice-versa), but to EXPECT them? Sheesh.

Seriously.  All I need is for my cat to hear about this now. 

[weeblewobble]

The only time is got really troublesome was after we had our daughter. (The first grandkid in the family.) SIL felt displaced, so she started demanding "equal treatment" for her dogs, since they were my in-laws' "granddogs."  If my daughter got a special treat, SIL would say, in the dogs' voices, that the "granddogs wanted a treat, too!"  If my daughter got a little "just because" gift, SIL would speak for the dogs saying that their feelings were hurt and wanted a gift, too. If the dogs didn't get Christmas presents... it got ugly.

Sorry, you'd think I'd be used to this on EHell, but, <BOGGLE>! Seriously? <BOGGLE>

Wow. I routinely send xmas gifts to my sister's dogs (and vice-versa), but to EXPECT them? Sheesh.

Seriously.  All I need is for my cat to hear about this now. 

KEEP THE CAT AWAY FROM EHELL. NO CAN HAZ! NO CAN HAZ!

[weeblewobble]

The only time is got really troublesome was after we had our daughter. (The first grandkid in the family.) SIL felt displaced, so she started demanding "equal treatment" for her dogs, since they were my in-laws' "granddogs."  If my daughter got a special treat, SIL would say, in the dogs' voices, that the "granddogs wanted a treat, too!"  If my daughter got a little "just because" gift, SIL would speak for the dogs saying that their feelings were hurt and wanted a gift, too. If the dogs didn't get Christmas presents... it got ugly.

Sorry, you'd think I'd be used to this on EHell, but, <BOGGLE>! Seriously? <BOGGLE>

Wow. I routinely send xmas gifts to my sister's dogs (and vice-versa), but to EXPECT them? Sheesh.

Her parents were absolutely expected to give the dogs presents every year.  She tried to "enforce" this with us and we gave her a completely blank "does not compute" stare, followed by DH telling her, "That won't happen."  She knew she couldn't persuade us, so she stuck to getting upset with her parents if they didn't respond.  They usually did, to "keep the peace," which is how they approached a LOT of similar situations.  That peace came at a mighty high price.

[amylouky]

I think it is weird, but wouldn't be my hill to die on. I'd probably just ignore, maybe with an internal eye roll.

My MIL does the flip side.. she has a small dog and insists on calling the dog DH's "sister". As in, we'll go visit (well, we don't go over there any more, but when we did), and she'll remind us to "go say hi to your sister!" She also sent us a picture of the dog sitting on Santa Claus's lap. It's a little annoying, especially since I don't particularly LIKE the dog (I do like dogs, but this one is a mean little yappy thing who has bitten one of my DSs in the face). I just ignore it though, it's not worth the drama it would cause by saying anything about it.

[Lynn2000]

I see/hear a lot of people talking about their "fur babies," "grand-puppies," etc.. I wouldn't do it personally but it seems pretty common to me. At one point my aunt and uncle tried telling me their dog was my cousin and I was kind of like . I just didn't really respond and they dropped it. Okay if they want to talk that way, but don't expect me to play along. I also don't include family pets in, say, Christmas cards (like, "To Uncle Bob, Aunt Jane, Susie, Joey, and Muffin"). But other people do. Shrug.

Could be the combination of MIL getting a new dog herself and going from "abstract dog lover" to "actual dog owner," and really falling for your new puppy. I can see how it would seem silly and irritating if she already does lots of other silly and irritating things, but personally I wouldn't make a big deal of it. I would say the puppy was asleep or something like that to avoid putting it on the phone, and then quickly move on with the conversation.

[CrazyDaffodilLady]

There's a dog food commercial currently airing that refers to "pet parents" rather than "pet owners".


My family always gives presents to the pets.  My dog and cats have Christmas stockings. 

[Miss Understood]

I don't think it's that weird, personally.  Maybe there are other things that irritate you about your MIL, but this particular thing wouldn't bother me.  My DH's parents have 7 grandkids and 1 great-grandkid (so far) yet still refer to our kitties as their grandcats and can't hear enough stories about them and see enough pictures and videos of them.  I'm not sure why you are connecting her love for an adorable puppy to a PA response to your decision regarding children - but again, I don't know what your other dealings with her are like.

[Kittymama]

I insist that my parents say hello to their grandcats on the phone on occasion. They humour me.    My dad occasionally requests that I talk to his cats on the phone, as well. My mom probably would, too, if she lived somewhere she could have a pet.

[amandaelizabeth]

My mother is not fond of cats, but when we got our latest one, they fell head over heels in love with each other. Babbage will talk to her (and only her) on the phone.  She likes me to send her pictures of him regularly and he always gets a Christmas stocking from her.  As i am a year off sixty it cannot be a hint for a grandchild and in fact she has 10 real ones.   I do not think of it as odd behavior and neither does Babbage.

[GSNW]

The story of Puppy is an interesting/unique one, so I started another thread about it here:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=125510.0

And thanks again for the perspectives, I find it helpful when she just makes me want to scream.   

[Softly Spoken]

Hey OP

After reading your puppy's "origin story" (what a CUTIE! btw  ) I actually had a new perspective on the situation with your MIL:

Instead of Puppy just being yet another pet you and DH have adopted, Puppy is The Special Valentine Miracle That Was Sent From Above. So maybe this is what is causing MIL to gush so much over this unexpected "bundle of joy." It could be a Hallmark Movie: "The Miracle In Locker 27" or "Puppy Love"...er...too much? *cough*

Anyway, my point is maybe MIL is caught up in the romanticizing (no pun intended ) of Puppy's heartwarming story. From her POV (especially based on how you describe her reacting to Puppy), in your family dynamic Puppy is a minor celebrity - like the kid who gets rescued from the well or the guy who bowled a perfect game. Instead of just New she is New and Different and Special. Since MIL doesn't happen to have any human grand-kids to distract her, she has latched onto Pups shiny specialness.

Hopefully after a little bit of time the bloom with be off Puppy's rose, and MIL will dial back her fangirl reaction to her and just see her as simply another pet (albeit a very cute one!). 

[ladyknight1]

Within DH, DS and I, we refer to our oldest cat as another child, DS's brother, and I get Mother's day and birthday cards from him.

[furrcats]

Within DH, DS and I, we refer to our oldest cat as another child, DS's brother, and I get Mother's day and birthday cards from him.

My mom gets cards from my cat