No, I don't want him to be here. ***Update pg 5***

[KB]

My question was about my house, my party, my money and my time being spent on a special party that DH and I throw annually. That's why I was pretty sure I had done the right thing in deciding what happens in my house. I came to ehell for clarification.

My impression was that you came here wanting other people's opinions on what had taken place/was going to happen. That, based on my reading of your situation was mine. I'm not going to apologise for having an opinion that differs from yours. Nor will I offer a faux-apology about 'if I hurt your feelings' because, while I clearly did, I'm afraid that that was how I felt about the situation.

And for those who might be wondering, I have no husband, no kids, no family I live with, etc. I based my statements on my only inclinations and instincts as a result of reading the original post.

[LifeOnPluto]

My first inclination was to say "C'mon, it's your best friend and she's helping you out. Surely you can accommodate her request?"

But then I thought about it some more and changed my mind. Setting up for a party is stressful and busy. And there's no guarantee that the toddler would be kept under adequate control. So I think you were fine in telling your friend she couldn't bring her child (and husband) to "setting up time".

And given the update - the grandparents were an hour late in arriving to babysit - your decision was even more justified.

Another thing too, as a host I would have felt obliged to offer the grandparents a drink when they arrived. And yet another thing, other guests who had to find babysitters for their own children might have felt rather disgruntled to have seen your BF's toddler running around at the party.