The first part of my story is technically rude, I know, but I don't mind, so don't worry too much about it.
My two kids have birthdays a month apart soon, and last year we had a biggish combined party for them. We weren't planning on doing anything this year, apart from a cake at home. Both are too young to know when their birthday should be or care about a combined party.
In a few weeks, all of DH's extended family, including our family are going on a mini-holiday, so MIL decided we should have lunch this weekend and discuss plans, so invited everyone (DH's brother and sister and their families) to our house for DS's birthday this weekend. That part, I really don't mind.
None of DH's family are big eaters like we are, and so they aren't big caterers either. A typical meal would be thin beef sausages, maybe two each, some bread and a bowl of green salad between 20 or so people. DH and I eat our share and eat when we get home if we need to.
I like to cater a bit more food, and I like to make dishes that my kids like more than salad so I'll have no problem getting them to eat while I'm hosting, and also that I like more. Nothing that exciting - just things like lasagne, or potato bake, or chicken drumsticks.
Every time we offer to host, just dinner with PIL, or even at last year's party, MIL will comment several times about how I always go to so much trouble, don't go to any trouble, don't work so much, etc. I really don't go to that much trouble.
Firstly, I like cooking - it's not trouble for me. Secondly, I'm not making anything difficult or complicated. PIL are really meat and potatoes type people, and we eat with a bit more variety, but it's really nothing that difficult.
So, my questions. Am I rude for bucking the trend in DH's family and hosting in a different way than the rest of the family does? Do I look like I'm trying to show them up? I'm not trying to; I just like to eat different food, and more of it.
Is it rude to constantly be telling me how much effort I should be going to in hosting in my own house (whether or notIi offered or was voluntold)?
My response so far is things like, 'It's no trouble, beandip?' Which she's obviously not believing.